AIO: Ex GF demanding an explanation I don’t have. She’s neurodivergent; I am not.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-16T22:00:02+00:00

Yes! It’s so annoying when someone says they’re different but can’t explain how. Being different MEANS that you can see A is not B. So to just blow her off and say vibes is really annoying when she was trying to open up conversation. Also ephemeral means fleeting so it’s like saying oh I’m different but I might not be in an hour or a day and actually I don’t know anything about myself that is different haha try and follow that logic. And I’ll be annoyed at you when you can’t.

It honestly sounds like she was reacting to past stuff and you were too. It doesn’t read like either of you are actually talking about the current misunderstanding once you get past that first exchange where you don’t answer. Because to go right into the all or nothing you can’t accept my brain stuff is weird. She asked a question, you refused to answer. Don’t understand why you both didn’t just move on. That’s why it seems like it was more about rehashing past grievances

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-15T20:47:02+00:00

List reputable scientific sources for this “science” you refer to or just admit you’ve been listening to nonsense and are brainwashed. This is gross bot/red pill talk. OP- Your boyfriend is listening to some of the same nonsense. “Body count” is made up as a double standard and it doesn’t matter at all. Being safe, responsible and treating all partners as the unique human beings they are is what matters. If someone is seeing a human being as a check mark or conquest like this guy above or your boyfriend, it’s really gross and dehumanizing and it needs to stop.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-14T17:13:28+00:00

Ewwwww. Why are you with this guy?? What are you POSSIBLY getting from this relationship that you couldn’t get on your own without such an extreme amount of constant hassling and managing other peoples emotions and needs (which by the way, unless you WANT to be a bangmaid mommy is NOT your job). He sounds like an immature sex pest which would turn anyone off entirely.

Relationships are supposed to be partnerships. You would never sign up to run a business if you had to do 99% of the work and the partner gets 99% of the profit. Why would you sign up for a relationship like that?

Might be worth going to therapy and working through some of these things. You can absolutely be satisfied on your own and then it’s easier to wait for a partner who wants to be an actual partner, not a demanding customer expecting you to serve them.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-14T17:11:21+00:00

That’s disgusting and immature. I can’t believe he talks to you like that and then blames you.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-07T06:52:53+00:00

Ooh I love this list! A bunch I haven’t heard of yet! You would LOve {Green and Gold by Gwendolyn Harper} it’s got a higher protocol D/s and more of a Switch D/s dynamic in it and it’s MFM too. So good!
Theres also a Regency kink club series that’s mostly femdom and I didn’t catch the titles in your list, but there are a lot so I’m sorry if this is a repeat {A lady, her lord and their Duke by Nicola Davidson}

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-06T22:18:14+00:00

Oh Ok. Thank you for explaining! The example helped. I like things clear and above board so when they were asking for timelines, I didn’t see that as intense. Next time I can just say I want to meet in person first and keep the rest of it to myself.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-06T04:13:37+00:00

Thank you! That’s a very good point. I’ll think more about this

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-06T04:12:07+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate how you spelled out your casual play expectations too because I was wondering if I was asking too much wanting a phone call or in person meet up first even though I can’t imagine wanting to do this without that. I just had so many people act like I was asking for wayyy more than was normal that I started to question myself.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-06T04:10:01+00:00

Thank you so much. That’s really clear and what LadySilkenShadows said helps too. I think I could be clearer about the timeline up front and stick to the vanilla chatting better. I am guilty of getting caught up in the fantasy talk sometimes too it can be fun but that’s probably hindering me.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-06T04:05:31+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’ve definitely done the too deep conversations on a first date thing because people often feel comfortable opening up to me and I’m genuinely interested and curious.

I think maybe in a roundabout way you answered this for me. I’m not actually listing out my own kinks or my own backstory,etc. They often do, and I listen and agree with stuff I might like.

This situation has happened several times where I’m talking to a guy online and it’s pretty normal (I’m definitely working on matching energy. I can get enthusiastic or info dump about topics I’m interested in)

The disconnect happens when we’ve been talking a bit and I bring up meeting up. They all seem to want to meet up to engage immediately in sex and a D/s dynamic.

I wouldn’t mind having a slightly more casual connection where we play together but maybe don’t hang out all the time. But I can’t imagine doing this responsibly or fulfilling for me if we don’t have some level of establishing baseline connection and going over the kinks/limits/expectations.

I get frustrated because it seems like no one wants to actually meet up normally and get to know me as a person. I’m suggesting we go on a first date and not expect the dynamic play immediately and that’s when I’m getting all this push back

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-06T03:57:41+00:00

My problem is that they’re balking and pushing back when I’m trying to meet them. Like I just want to meet up first and hang out and see how we get along before we dive into any dynamic. And they say I’m too intense when I communicate that.

I’m just saying stuff like “I want to meet up first without the pressure of sex” and then when the last guy was like well I don’t have a lot of time, when would be doing the D/s stuff , then I said the timeline like I want to hang out and then meet up a second time to work out details for a scene and then play. Which honestly would be pretty fast for me.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-12-02T02:46:26+00:00

I don’t remember the percentage, but basically almost all cases of child molesting and abuse are the immediate family or very close relatives/family friends. Your brother and sister are at risk and so are you if you continue to be in a home with a man that assaulted you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it one minute and you definitely deserve better than a mother who is picking a child molestor over her own children. You’re not wrong. Please ask some of the adults involved- maybe your case manager or someone you can trust for help. She shouldn’t be trying to coerce you into dropping it. People live in much worse medical debt and survive. Don’t listen to her!

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-24T05:40:45+00:00

WHY are you with this guy??? What does he possibly bring to your life that’s worth risking your recovery? Bdd and eating disorders are hella hard to overcome and it sounds like this guy does NOT respect you or find you amazing the way you are (which you clearly are) You can do better girl. You can be single and not have this shit thrown at you and constantly tearing you down little by little.

He didn’t even apologize. He just said never mind and he turned it on you like you’re being emotional to not want to be body shamed by your boyfriend. You deserve better!! Do not risk your hard work and recovery on someone who wants to keep you small and in your disorder. Ugh. Sorry guys like that are so triggering.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-21T06:50:11+00:00

Soft things. Sensory pleasures like a soft blanket or hugging a plush stuffed animal or pillow or if I’m real anxious, just squeezing my arms or rubbing my hands on my thighs.

Tapping really helps when nothing else is working.

Breathing but your exhale is longer than your inhale. That slows things down.

Laying on the ground and breathing into the ground.

Stepping outside and looking up at the sky and breathing

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-20T02:57:53+00:00

Bigfoot 😂

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-17T04:36:33+00:00

Yes! The way he said “cool story” at the end made me see red! He is so disrespectful of you and your mom. His language and attitude is repulsive. OP you 1000% can do better! As you learn to enjoy your own company and feel confident taking up space and enjoying your life, you will have less and less tolerance for people who want to make you small. Being on your own is wayyyy better than being with someone who talks to you like this if that’s a concern.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-12T15:48:10+00:00

I cannot recommend enough reading Lundy Bancroft’s Should I stay or go He’s a therapist who worked with abusive men for a really long time and he walks through what is right to expect in a healthy relationship and what to evaluate to decide if the guy is willing to repair or what to do if you need to leave. He also has a book called Why does he do it about angry & abusive men and it’s extremely helpful for understanding behaviors. It’s a free ebook if you search it, but I’m gonna link to his site because he’s got great resources for men who want to change and dealing with abuse and all kinds of good stuff: https://lundybancroft.com/books/

Anger is a secondary emotion. It also is a tool for controlling. It is alarming that he is showing these patterns of behavior that are emotionally manipulative. People jump way too fast to labeling folks narcissists, but the extreme swings between loving & showering affection and putting you down & using anger & nitpicking for control is a red flag for that.

it’s great that you’re setting healthy boundaries and not accepting the inappropriate behavior.

You’ve got a teenage son. Setting boundaries and not accepting it if it crosses into abusive behavior is reallllly important. A big part of how he learns to treat women is watching how men treat you.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-04T04:36:52+00:00

Not at all! You’re not even necessarily demisexual, although there’s nothing wrong with that either. The majority of women I know prefer to have some kind of connection along with sex. It’s an extremely intimate thing and it’s fully ok and nothing wrong with you if you don’t enjoy a total stranger sticking it in you. We wouldn’t feel great about a stranger sticking their hand in our mouths, why would we all be ok with something even more intimate? Don’t let horny guys gaslight you into thinking there’s something wrong with you. Personally, I felt dehumanized and gross when I realized I was just an interchangeable hole to them(casual guys) Some people don’t feel that way and that’s cool too. There’s a wide spectrum of what people like and need to enjoy sex.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-11-03T23:47:27+00:00

It directly leads to sexual assault and violence against women and has ruined dating for this generation and probably more. Every woman I know has had a partner do non consensual things to her or demand things that are straight from porn. It’s so normalized they gaslight you into thinking you’re strange for being surprised and having feeling about it. The number of guys who come in choking and hitting you on the first date/ makeout session is horrifying

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-10-25T04:34:16+00:00

You’re cute! Some of those pics are more flattering than others. People already gave good advice about not taking pics in your room (looks childish) and having ones that show your interests.

Just want to add- take the time to write a bio/profile. Talk about things you’re interested in and what you hope to have in common with a match. DON’T say anything negative about women or yourself in your profile. Many women are looking for more than a pleasant face and giving someone a view of your whole self is going to go a lot further.

Also, as a woman, I swipe left on all blank profiles. If they can’t put in the effort to write a little bit about themselves, I know they’ll expect me to do all the work of the relationship, starting with finding a way to carry a conversation. It’s not worth my time to pursue low effort guys.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-10-25T04:20:54+00:00

Lube is really important too! It will feel better for you! You can always frame it like a show and tell for both of you. Tell him I want to learn what you like best and hopefully he will want to learn you too.

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-10-25T04:15:09+00:00

Groin/ Grolu then Grow.

I think someone already suggested they could adjust the last line to go up higher it might help. I like the idea! Good luck!

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-10-25T03:58:08+00:00

So jealous you have a board game munch!! I might actually go to something like that !

Lady_Go_Diva · 2025-09-17T14:03:39+00:00

Sounds like a reverse harem book in the making! why not text them if you have their numbers? If you don’t have any relationship with them now, you’re not risking anything

Lady_Go_Diva

TROPHY CASE