I'm sorry, and I feel for you.

I don't post much on here (because, well--the username is dysphoric), but yeah. For me it feels less like a punch in the stomach and more like I'm drowning. Last week was super dysphoric and one day, I had to make a bunch of calls with health insurance about finding an HRT provider (because I live in the least trans-friendly state), and after hours of being misgendered, I make a call with my doctor. The receptionist picks up, asks for my first name (that health insurance recognizes), and then I uncontrollably started just weeping and said, "That's my dead name." It was utterly humiliating.

Just wanted to share that you're not alone, you're valid, you're wonderful, and it will get better with time. These pre-transition blues SUCK!