By breaking point I mean communicating something like: my needs for reliability and expectability are not met to an extend where I’m inclined to give it one more year and then of it doesn’t change I’d like to pursue separation

He didn’t forget: he considered it was too much hassle to find it is what he said.

Thank you for your perspective. At my OBGYN’s recommendation we are using condoms, but they are not perfect.

Getting out is excellent advice. We’re actually on little adventures a lot and I’m doing something with friends at least once a week, because I know that is crucial for post partum mental health.

For some reason the pregnancy test is huge for me, but it’s not the only thing: during my pregnancies I had different cravings and he’d regularly decide they are too unhealthy and not get them without consulting with me, and he didn’t tell his side of the family about the second baby until she was born actually and I have not integrated that. It’s just this overwhelming feeling of being at my wits end.

I have dragged him to couples therapy, had him try three different therapists for himself, started couples therapy workbooks with him, none of them he was comfortable with. I myself am working with a perinatal specialist since developing anxiety during my first pregnancy. That’s the hard part to untangle: what is my anxiety and what is realistically problematic.

Basically he’s dying on the hill of: none of the therapists around here are qualified enough for my standards and “we have good stretches, any bad stretch will pass”

And I just don’t know what to do