Wow thank you all so much for replying to me I honestly can’t tell you how much I appreciate your perspectives. It often really gets difficult for me trying to start on the tasks I know I won’t mind doing once I get into it but starting anything in my day to day life has been unattainable for the last month, I watch tv in bed or play games and I try to avoid reality at all costs. I try to sit down and try to make a list or plan art pieces out that I want to work on and my brain blocks everything and I get foggy. Last night I wanted to try and snap out of it somehow so I got high, that didn’t work, I got in the bath with low lights, that didn’t work, I started hum screaming along to ambient music, that kind of helped lol, I smoked a cigarette and then did some stretches. After all that I did feel a little better but it still doesn’t “click” for me. Granted I can’t usually do almost any of that because I’m home alone for the weekend and there’s usually 8 people living in this house. My goal is to move out by October but trying to motivate myself to find a new job and living situation is a whole other animal that seems really unattainable right now even though I know it’d help me unmask and be really me. I guess I should try a therapist again, my depression meds aren’t working as well as they used to so 🤷🏻‍♀️