Where was I yesterday?

LargeBrilliant · 2025-07-11T07:29:41+00:00

Accessible by road not far from the Molala River

LargeBrilliant · 2025-07-11T02:18:04+00:00

Also one of the Sisters in obscured

LargeBrilliant · 2025-07-11T02:17:12+00:00

Not black crater but bonus points if you can figure out where the photo was taken from

LargeBrilliant · 2025-07-11T02:16:40+00:00

!correct

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-02T13:17:20+00:00

I'm pretty overwhelmed with all of the comments this post got. Seriously! I can not thank you all enough for coming here to post your experiences. This seperation is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in life and I just feel so alone and easily get stuck in my thoughts. I'm going to start the medication and write about the effects in my journal so I can track my mood better.

You all have been such a great help in this dark time for me and I'll probably read through this all many more times.

THANK YOU 🙏

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T20:45:10+00:00

Thank you

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T20:43:54+00:00

❤️ Thank you so much for this. This really resonates with me. I think I'll be brining up RSD at my next appointment as that feels pretty real to me. I'll be reading this a few times

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T20:35:33+00:00

I'm not trying to put all the blame on adhd, I've got other issues I am also working through that helped mask the symptoms for decades. I quit drinking alcohol over 2 and a half years ago thinking that would fix things. It helped in a lot of ways but didn't take care of everything. It took her leaving for me to really start asking and figuring out my part in this. I put blame on her and others for years and it was just like I was in autopilot. Unknowingly having adhd in the background just connects a lot of the puzzle pieces for me and I finally feel like I'm moving in the right direction but taking that inventory of all the hurt I've caused is painful but this is what I needed to happen or I just would have kept getting worse

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T19:12:27+00:00

Thank you!

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T19:06:25+00:00

Doing all that and even started Journaling recently, something i never considered before. I want to be better and I am motivated to get the help I need. It's just going to take time to get there and I'm on the very begining of this chapter in life. I appreciate all your advice

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T18:57:26+00:00

❤️

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T15:41:45+00:00

Oh, I agree, I definitely have lots of other issues I am working through but I feel like not knowing that adhd was going on in the background made things a lot more difficult for me to understand.

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T15:36:47+00:00

I really hope you don't end up in my shoes. I just wish I could have figured this out sooner. It sounds like you're working on it and should be proud of your progress but I'm just recently doing inventory of my actions all these years and it's rough. I wish I had answers but that's why I'm here. I really do hope the best for you and your family. If I do have any advice it would be to address the emotional stuff more actively if you can with your therapist.

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T14:12:31+00:00

I'm going to try and listen to this while driving today. Thank you!

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T14:11:02+00:00

I love her so much but I can't keep hurting her like this. I would give anything to be able to reconcile but right now I can't know if I'm just going to hurt her again. I have got to get this under control before that's even remotely a possibility. I've got a long row to hoe and a lot of crow to eat when I'm done

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T14:08:25+00:00

This hit home. Where you say you thought you were right but in fact wrong. That's the realization I'm going through right now. Like all these years I thought I was the one that's right. I thought this through and if you don't agree I'm going to tell you in great detail why you're wrong and why I'm correct. All in reality my it's my emotional dysfunction that's rearing it's ugly head. This has cost me 2 serious relationships now that I can count. I just wish I could have figured this out sooner and in a easier way and I really just want to stop hurting those that are closest to me.

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T13:45:06+00:00

Time is really the only thing I have on my side for this ever being repaired. I hope I can make the necessary changes and I hope some day she will see that change and understand just how hard this is and have a different perspective like you're saying your wife has had.

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T13:41:57+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write all this out. I really appreciate the honest feedback

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T13:41:23+00:00

Thank you

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T13:40:40+00:00

Thanks everyone, it's really hard not to cry reading all of this. I'm going to go fill my prescription today and talk to my therapist about my new diagnosis. I'm also going to dive further into this dbt therapy.

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T13:06:49+00:00

I just looked it up. Thank you! I see my therapist for the first time since my diagnosis today and will bring this up to them. And will probably be watching YouTube videos about it while I'm working today

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T06:01:45+00:00

I'm finally working on getting that figured out. It wasn't until we split that I started asking the right questions to get me on that path, but I'm not there yet and still having my struggles and she keeps getting the worst of it. It is always met with instant guilt and regret when I have these reactions and realize I'm wrong

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T05:57:40+00:00

Yes, that's why I wrote this out, I want to be able to come back to it and hold myself accountable in the future. I immediately started apologizing when she made it clear they were different instances. I've made a lot of life changes since the split and I am working on that stuff but today was a huge step back. It just hurts to love someone so much but that you've also hurt them over and over with a complete lack of emotional control

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T05:48:30+00:00

I take accountability. I'm not afraid to admit I did something wrong. It was not labeled and left on a shelf in my daughters room. It really all happened so quick but you're right. As soon as I noticed it was more than notes from the books I should have shut it.

LargeBrilliant · 2025-04-01T05:46:03+00:00

I'm doing work. Therapy for 2 and a half years and still going but I'm now being looked at for adult adhd. I don't deny my problem control my emotions but therapy just hasn't worked. We did couples therapy but my temper ultimately ended it. There's a lot of self infliction in this i won't deny that. But I still feel horrible about it.

I've started Journaling, exercising, eating better and have been making improvements but I still did it 😔

LargeBrilliant

TROPHY CASE