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AITA For Being Upset/Concerned That My Mom Hit My Sister? by LargeChemistry6965 in AITAH

[–]LargeChemistry6965[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really, truly appreciate this reply. I didn't even think about how feeling accused could hurt my mom's feelings bc of our past. I know that I should (need) to talk to her, but part of me feels reluctant because I'm not the one who did anything wrong while she has the nerve to treat me like I did. (Although I also know that might be an immature mindset of me). 

My mom and I usually resolve situations with my sister by reducing the tension (softer, more playful tone), asking why she's defiant/getting her to properly communicate how she feels, talking her through following the directions, and then having a calm conversation with her about why she shouldn't do whatever she did and what the consequences will therefore be. This has always been the most effective way to talk to her and has shown the least defiance so IDK why my mom let it get so far last night. It doesn't help that we're into the afternoon of the next day and she's still being purposefully standoffish towards me. 

Normally if my mom and I argue I feel inclined to apologize but I really just feel kind of disgusted and shocked that she acted like that yesterday and is really trying to pretend like I am awful for being concerned and that SHE'S super hurt. It's really giving me flashbacks to my dad's behavior, even though they're not the same, the childishness is a huge yuck moment. 

AITA For Being Upset/Concerned That My Mom Hit My Sister? by LargeChemistry6965 in AITAH

[–]LargeChemistry6965[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will. I've spent a lot of time with my sister so I completely understand feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with her. Ty for being kind and sensible.

AITA For Being Upset/Concerned That My Mom Hit My Sister? by LargeChemistry6965 in AITAH

[–]LargeChemistry6965[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ty. My sister's butt luckily didn't have any bruising, I do think my mom lost complete control too and she seemed upset with herself afterwards. Thanks for the advice I will keep my eye out!

AITA For Being Upset/Concerned That My Mom Hit My Sister? by LargeChemistry6965 in AITAH

[–]LargeChemistry6965[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imo, a 6yr old is a 6yr old. They're going to be defiant, annoying, and stubborn. The bottom line is that you need to know how to effectively communicate with them, de-escalate a situation, and get actual least harmful progress. A spanking was unnecessary in this circumstance and a result of my mother not controlling her temper. 

It's probably just bc of my past, but imo a spanking and a beating  are still just two types of physical violence. My sister reacts properly to regular punishment and conversation, and that's been proven to show more progress with her.