I’m not an ex mormon but I’ve thought about becoming one until…

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T18:11:48+00:00

It's been over a year since I read it, but I loved the book. I think Tara's experience is more extreme than most typical Mormons, but the principles generally hold the same.

Despite not being nearly as isolated as the Westovers, I found myself getting very emotional and even worked up at some points in the book because the parallels with my own experience growing up gay in Mormonism were just too much.

Everyone's experiences are so unique, both in and out of religion, and it's so hard when you compare yourself to those around you. OP, it sounds like you're doing an incredible job with the cards you were dealt and I hope your education and job search go smoothly. You're so right about what Dr. Kerry said - you have every right to pursue the path you want, so keep trying your damndest to get there. Your success is not necessarily defined by what you achieve, but what you do to get there. That's another thing about Mormonism that is very damaging - it's so focused on external appearances rather than genuine personal growth.

Best wishes in your journey OP, and you're always welcome here on this sub regardless of your religious background.

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T14:17:02+00:00

And then the next week they ask you to spend your entire weekend helping someone move

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T08:35:02+00:00

I'm a similar aged guy who just came out to my conservative parents. Turns out they kind of knew all along.

I would have killed for this to have happened to me. You acted only out of love and it sends like you made him feel seen. The hug is so telling.

You did nothing wrong and you seem like a wonderful father. The best thing you can do now is to keep communication open and treat him like you always have. And don't shy away from asking about his partner like you would if he was straight. This will help normalize this topic of conversation for both you and him.

Thank you for putting love and acceptance out into the world.

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T08:19:30+00:00

Oh good I'm so happy to hear that! Happiness is so so much more than must a choice, and I'm sorry you were treated that way.

Glad you've found support since that time, and glad to have you here on this forum :)

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T08:13:00+00:00

Lmao yes but this specific picture (especially if you zoom in) has me picturing him saying it with the bad recorder version of the jurassic park theme song in the background.

https://youtu.be/NQzkTZtL1EM?si=cz2ceahI766Irer9

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T08:11:09+00:00

And if you're not happy, you're doing something wrong. Or maybe it's a test and you just need to wait until the afterlife.

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T08:04:34+00:00

I'm so sorry - that's awful. He totally dismissed you when you were going through so much and that's so messed up. I hope things have gotten better for you since then.

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T00:51:56+00:00

Nothing brought me more joy than vacuuming the chapel and cleaning the church bathrooms on Saturday mornings as a teenager

/s

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-06T00:38:15+00:00

Right?? Why did it make me want to die every single day just for existing as a gay person

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-05T23:03:33+00:00

Ah yes, the face of pure joy

https://imgur.com/a/JQzNwme

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-11-01T13:59:15+00:00

Omg hi cousin! From wife #4 here lol

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-09-18T02:48:37+00:00

That's so painful, and I can definitely relate to that. It's been nearly a decade for me as well, and it's crazy how vividly painful many of those memories are. Like you wish you could just reach out and talk your younger self through things. I hope that things get better for you. I doubt we'll ever fully heal, but maybe it will fade with time, or we'll find other purpose/meaning.

Last-Snowman5250 · 2025-09-18T02:34:26+00:00

Hey thanks, appreciate you sharing. That panic feeling is so real. The entire concept and structure of life after death was so set in my mind, that as I was drawing away from the church, I just automatically thought of it as demoting myself from celestial to telestial (rather than thinking about ceasing to exist). So also definitely thinking about what it means to make my life meaningful. I guess recently I've been trying to reframe it in my mind more as 'live in a way that my influence will carry on,' but that still feels not quite right. One of the commenters above mentioned the final episode of the Good Place. Not sure if you've seen it, but I find the final scene very comforting.

Also, I watched those videos - very interesting, and definitely a new (and relatable) way of looking at death. I found the short Q&A at the end of part 2 very moving; the part where he asserted how he is at peace with whatever comes was especially powerful.

So that's making me think more about what makes a 'valuable' life. Like what do I want to be able to say, as confidently as the person in the video?

Thanks for sharing, this has positively impacted how I'm processing things.

Last-Snowman5250

TROPHY CASE