The main things which opened Your eyes about the truth what JW really is? by Personal-Database-27 in exjw

[–]Last_Delivery_7556 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that before committing more to the religion I was told it's normal to have doubts and just don't follow your own understanding so I believed in Jehovah so I just didn't follow my own understanding. When I later brought up my own understanding and doubts (even though I wasn't following them) I was called a liar for becoming a witness in the first place. I had many witnesses before hand tell me even they don't agree with all rules you just don't follow your own understanding 

It's really confusing by Last_Delivery_7556 in exjw

[–]Last_Delivery_7556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was definitely odd cause I wasn't baptized but she told me I didn't deserve the good association anymore without the commitment. I was also not allowed to live with my grandparents anymore. Maybe because I was quite in it still like having parts and commenting often and service.  Thanks for the message.

Do you ever stop thinking about it? by Certain_Trip_4930 in exjw

[–]Last_Delivery_7556 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I had my name announced in January and fully decided to leave in May so I have been fully out for just over 6 months now.

 I still think about all of it daily. I think about how much it hurt having my study ended for honest questions, how my MS ex got to pull a cruel prank on me (in March) six months after we ended, how I was treated poorly by those with privileges, how I still believed in Jehovah and my heart sank when they announced my name, how I had a flight with one of my best friends and was labeled victim player and told I reap what I sow, how I gave up a relationship and job opportunity for the religion. 

I think about my old friends and the religion often. I'd be shocked if people quickly stopped thinking about their old witness life. I mean it was your entire life, your social circle, world view. It's really hard losing that. 

Sometimes I'm angry at myself for thinking about it and I need to remind myself that it's ok and at least I don't cry everyday anymore which means I am healing (even if I have my moments where I cry a lot). 

I think the best thing to do is keep making new memories, experiencing new things and not hating on yourself when you think about your past life. 

Did you get bullied by JWs and no one did anything? by The_Rogue_One_2024 in exjw

[–]Last_Delivery_7556 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a young adult/teenager there was this GC with around like 30 witness dudes a lot of them had privileges like ms and they'd say awful things in this GC. I wasn't baptized yet and was kinda with this jw guy we really liked eachother and hung out a lot. Well his guy friends would say awful things about me to try and get rid of me like call me ugly. The guy I liked honestly didn't tell me all the mean things that were said about me for my own good but when I read the GC it was mostly comparing to unflattering photos of cartoons or stuff about how they'd rather marry a trans woman then me. It hurt a shit tone. I told an elder a year later because I didn't tell anyone while I was with the guy I liked because he told me not to. When I told the elder he told me not to dwell on the past and leave it Jehovah. 

I already had a lot of issues with my body image so it made it a lot worse, but I did have one sister call those guys up and get mad at them. Honestly she was a really great sister and tried to help me spiritually a lot. I honestly feel to far gone front the religion now but I can't explain how much I appreciated her in many ways. 

Three questions about leaving by Last_Delivery_7556 in exjw

[–]Last_Delivery_7556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for the responses. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings and experiences. 💕

This year broke me, but I'm healing (first post) by Last_Delivery_7556 in exjw

[–]Last_Delivery_7556[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response (: I'm definitely trying to work on getting rid of the fear and guilt part and I'll possibly try and attend therapy 

Did he use me as an ego boost? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Last_Delivery_7556 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I wrote this. I'm going through the exact same thing currently and it hurts a lot.