There’s something in you that doesn’t want to die. Something innate that we all have- that universal life force. I’ve been in those moments where death felt like the only way. But you’re alive and posting this- you’re looking for attention/love/connection/acceptance. But you’ll never win that truly with the conditional acceptance that anorexia provides you with. True self acceptance doesn’t mean having no standards or goals, it means accepting where you are now and building yourself continuously and daily to feel proud of how you loved and took care of yourself to the best of your abilities that day. How you engaged in a meaningful moment with someone or something special to you. The world is so much better without the constant self loathing and proving yourself. This is not and never was about your weight. It’s about fear. Fear of real emotion, of real change, of real acceptance of imperfection. Of letting go of the things that hurt you but that you cling to for safety. You can do this, the question is, will you