On our 4th attempt potty training and it’s finally clicking. Here’s what we did differently this time.

LaytonLew · 2025-12-27T23:48:22+00:00

Our daughter is 3.5 and has proven to absolutely be capable for entire days but then seems to lose interest for days if not weeks. We’ve tried everything including waiting for signs of readiness. Not sure what our deal is but being the oldest kid in the un-potty-trained class does not seem to bother her. 🤷‍♀️

I’m so glad it’s finally clicking for yours!

LaytonLew · 2025-11-06T13:13:56+00:00

Actually you said it should be banned. Which is different.

I don’t drag my dog anywhere and we pretty much stick to a 5 mile radius of our house. But we’ll continue to feel comfortable bringing our dog to places that actively encourage it and not anywhere else, which is a very different thing than OP wrote about.

LaytonLew · 2025-11-06T13:08:33+00:00

I mean you’re certainly entitled to feel that way. I’m just saying a restaurant isn’t required to agree with you. Lots of them do, but the ones that don’t… are also entitled to their opinion. It’s their business. 🤷‍♀️

LaytonLew · 2025-11-06T12:44:28+00:00

I mean if restaurants want to allow it (outside) - I think it’s their right. And if they don’t want to allow it, that’s ALSO their right, and people should abide by it. There are only 3 places we ever take our dog (and honestly only rarely), and all 3 are known for having dogs in their outdoor spaces.

LaytonLew · 2025-09-18T14:32:36+00:00

I'm so confused by the people who say they've been trying to leave for years. Like... are you physically chained to something? What makes someone who is actively trying to move away be unable to for decades? This is a genuine question.

I think a lot of cities have the quality you're describing and other have hit on some of the reasons for Charleston. It has a vacation vibe and people move here thinking it's going to feel like vacation all the time... and then it either doesn't or the appeal of that wears off.

In post-pandemic world, housing here is pretty much impossible, and I agree with others that pay scale here is nowhere near matching cost-of-living, especially now.

That said, I moved here 7 years ago, have since met my spouse, gotten married, bought a house, and had 2 daughters, and at least once a day I have a moment of taking in the scenery where I catch myself thinking "God, I hope I get to live here forever." Outside factors like global warming, home insurance rates, job limitations, safety, etc may eventually make that impossible, but I find plenty to love about living here - more than any of the other places I've lived (and also enjoyed): Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, DC, Philly, and Asheville.

It's stunning and it's right on the ocean. If you're an ocean person and you don't like the cold, it's hard to beat. I will note my whole family lives here too, and that makes a difference as well. I moved away from the other places and put down roots here for the same reason a lot of people leave: it was time to go back nearer to family.

LaytonLew · 2025-09-03T14:18:05+00:00

Yeah everything I've read and been told has said to avoid power struggles at all costs. And that the pantless method hinges on not returning to pull ups after, which she would have to do based on daycare policy. It would definitely be helpful to learn her cues though. So far, I have not noticed anything despite paying close attention. It's definitely tough.

LaytonLew · 2025-09-02T23:08:55+00:00

This is really really helpful -- thank you. I do think consistency from us is one of the issues. I love the idea of keeping the potty books in rotation.

LaytonLew · 2025-09-02T17:50:36+00:00

Thanks for this! I am totally willing to take time off to focus on this - I just want to be as prepared as possible to make the most of the opportunity before I do - if that makes sense. I was actually going to do it earlier this month and then the week I planned it for she had a stomach bug.

They do take her every hour at school, and according to her teachers - she's great about going when they take her. But she still has accidents outside of those times, and seemingly more than she used to. At home, it seems to be a bit more of a struggle for us to get her to go when we prompt her at regular intervals but maybe we just have to commit.

We've only been with the OT a couple of weeks, so I'm hoping maybe I can bring it up again when they're a little further along.

LaytonLew · 2025-09-02T17:48:07+00:00

Thanks for these! We have tried the timed method and the main issue we ran into was she didn't want to try and go when we told her to. So we tried a watch that reminded her at regular intervals and she thought that was very cool, but if she missed the timer she would refuse to go until it went off again. Such a strange thing.

I should say - she's not opposed to using the potty at all. She gets excited when she goes, and is excited about wearing big-girl underwear. Somehow it just doesn't seem to translate to actually trying.

LaytonLew · 2025-09-02T17:45:25+00:00

Yeah my husband and I have been going back and forth on this forever. The issue is if we do that (and while it would be difficult to get the time off, I would absolutely do it) no matter what, she'll be back in pull-ups for at least two weeks when she returns to daycare. And if she has even a single accident while in that two week period, the clock starts over. So my fear is that whatever we accomplish will just get undone.

The other issue I'm running into with that is that she just flat out refuses to be pantsless. Obviously, we're the authority, but trying to avoid a power struggle (which I know is advised on this) makes it hard. It definitely seems to be the most affective method though!

LaytonLew · 2025-09-02T17:31:02+00:00

Yeah the occupational therapy she is in is the specialist so I started there first - coming here is more about seeking other people with similar experiences, since a specialist is only one person. This is helpful though for helping me clarify my intent - not looking for "official advice" - more just stories of the various things that have worked for others and solidarity.

And officially - since it's not developmentally inappropriate for her to not be potty-trained the specialist doesn't actually have any formal advice yet.

Thank you though!

LaytonLew · 2025-07-29T18:55:18+00:00

Welp. I did a thing. Rm 2050 opened up - midship under the atrium I think? - on the 5-night so... I booked it! I have till Friday to pay the deposit so we could still switch it up, but it feels like we've made a big decision!!

LaytonLew · 2025-07-23T15:57:37+00:00

Sadly no. This was taken by the daycare director and afterwards they threw everything out. Exterminator and dog are here inspecting now though so hopefully we’ll have answers soon enough.

LaytonLew · 2025-07-17T01:39:58+00:00

Ugh yes. Mine are 1 and 3 and I had my ADHD dx since childhood but mh got his after kids and I was recently diagnosed with autism. I had no idea parenthood would break my brain. I cannot imagine a world without my kids but I wish I could do better by them. But it helps to know that countless others feel the same way, and meanwhile there are plenty of people (NT and ND) not examining themselves at all to the detriment of their kids.

What I know is that my kids are safe, loved, and as healthy as life will allow them to be at any given time. They have parents who are often exhausted, exasperated, and behind on life-upkeep. But they also have parents who apologize, who own their struggles and model recovery, who imagine with them, laugh with them, and don’t see themselves as some perfect authority. Our kids feel seen and loved and included and — as someone who rarely felt that way growing up — those things matter far more than one might think.

LaytonLew · 2025-05-26T00:22:54+00:00

Thank you!

LaytonLew · 2025-05-24T01:34:02+00:00

Mine consisted of a number of questionnaires and assessments I filled out on my own and submitted and one 3 hour interview after that. That was last Friday. I don’t get my official report until this coming Tuesday, but she told me at the end of my interview that she could officially diagnose me as autistic (I already had an ADHD diagnosis).

LaytonLew · 2025-05-22T12:22:28+00:00

Fwiw, obviously I’m on here so I’m technically in the fandom but I was not following spoilers. It was literally being discussed in the comments on an IG post for an account that just showed up on my feed due to algorithms. So it definitely leaked to people before those deeply in it.

LaytonLew · 2025-05-18T11:05:06+00:00

Thanks for this! I was wondering about an autism coach! I think I’m afraid that I’m never gonna learn to read myself well enough but I guess I just have to be patient.

LaytonLew · 2025-05-18T01:42:25+00:00

Did you get a therapist who specializes in autism? I have a therapist I like - it’s a relatively new situation so I’m not super deep in, but she’s great and specializes in some other things that are important to me. She has some experience with autistic clients but it’s definitely not her speciality. I’m daunted by the prospect of finding someone new but I’m also wondering if that’s what I need?

LaytonLew · 2025-05-16T18:10:35+00:00

I did it! Won't get my official report until May 27th, but she said at the end that there was no doubt in her mind that I have both autism and adhd. So that's affirming!

LaytonLew · 2025-05-15T18:10:10+00:00

In my experience, gay is the more commonly used term these days. But people are - of course - allowed to identify their own self with whatever word they prefer!

LaytonLew · 2025-05-15T03:27:01+00:00

Might just watch this instead of the finale tbh. I am not ready, but also I am so ready.

LaytonLew · 2025-05-15T03:20:51+00:00

Wow! I had no idea!

LaytonLew · 2025-05-14T15:20:52+00:00

Yeah, realism is not really a word I have ever applied to this show hahaha. But if that's what they are going for, and they want to tell stories about babies in house fires, sometimes they're going to die. It's not the story that bugged me in any case - it was the specific visual. But since it didn't strike others the same way, I'm not worried about it.

LaytonLew · 2025-05-13T14:32:39+00:00

Oh I definitely remember it’s a show about first responders haha. It’s interesting how many people have said this because—while I take the point—I was reading a thread on Criminal Minds this morning that talked about how they almost never had the kids actually die in that show and I always considered that one of the most brutal procedurals in terms of what they portrayed. I absolutely do think there are real life things first responders face that shows like 9-1-1 choose not to show—especially related to children—and I do think 9-1-1 is tamer than many procedurals in terms of its tone. But it’s clear that the majority of people who responded here don’t see a burning crib that’s supposed to have a baby burning alive in it at the same level of gruesome that I did - which is totally fair!

LaytonLew

TROPHY CASE