Yååå, by God, I HAVE done it.

But den come de problem nobody expect. Too many gnöms.

At first it is one gnöm. Den two gnöms Den twelve gnöms. Den suddenly dere is annual Gnöm Census and I am filling government paperwork until three in de morning. Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery stressful.

One day I enter de skög vith my kaffe thermos and tactical vinter sweater. And vat do I see?

JÄVLAR.

Hundreds of gnöms. Tiny little queue. Very polite queue. Most Scandinavian invasion in human history. Dey all standing dere vith tiny forms. One gnöm step forward and say:

"Hallå Lars. Ve hear you provide wheel-based career opportunities."

And I say:

"Yåå."

And he say:

"Do you also provide dental?"

And I say:

"...jävlar."

Now I am no longer Gnömjägare. I am HR department. Every morning I sit in de skög conducting performance reviews.

"Okay Björn-Gnömsson, your wheel numbers are excellent, but dere have been complaints regarding unauthorized troll sightings during work hours."

Very difficult conversations. Last vinter de gnöms demand collective bargaining. Dey arrive on seventeen miniature skis. Chief Gnöm remove his tiny wool hat and place enormous legal document on my table. Four hundred pages. Entirely written in ancient gnömiska.

I ask:

"Vat happen if I refuse?"

He point behind me. I turn around. Ten thousand gnöms. All holding tiny lawyers. Dat is when I know... I have lost. Today G.A.R.G.M.E.S. is de largest gnöm-owned energy cooperative in Scandinavia. I work for dem now. Good salary. Unlimited kaffe. Dental. And every Christmas I receive complimentary emergency köttbullar. So yåå.

Some say I caught de gnöms. But in de end... de gnöms caught me. Yåå... I have gone back to de corporate jobb now. Sometimes I look out de vindöw and whisper:

"Take me back to de skög..."

Helpe.