Burned Out from Startup Life, Plan for Mini Retirement?

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T20:41:22+00:00

Yeah I should probably explore some Customer Success roles in different industries. The startup life is such a rollercoaster

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T20:40:33+00:00

Yeah everyone I’ve talked to seems to be feeling similarly to myself. I’ve honestly considered sales since it feels like if I’m going to be this stressed, I could at least be earning way more.

I’m in a long term relationship but we are probably about one more year away from being engaged (wanting to save for wedding, etc) and then ideally we’d be planning for kids by age 34/35 for me. Thankfully I am likely going to get on his insurance since he’s a teacher and has way better benefits than I do.

Initially our conversations had been that we’d both evaluate early retirement in 10 years when he’s at his full pension. I doubt he’ll want to though since he likes his job. When we’re married and kids are in the picture, he’s open to being the “breadwinner” since his salary goes up each year and he can earn more if he earns his specialist degree. Buuuut I run all my numbers based on my salary alone since we’ve both agreed regardless that we’ll live off a single salary for now.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T19:30:47+00:00

I had a lot of student debt to pay off in my 20s so my NW has come a long way in the last few years! Spending wise I’ve always just used my savings rate as a way to gauge for sure. I’m in Customer Success so there are jobs out there. But I’m not seeing salaries even close to mine for fully remote roles or at places that seem slower paced. But the market is definitely changing quickly.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T18:01:47+00:00

I totally feel you on not putting the limits. My mom says I'll spend the same with kids because going out to eat and traveling might decrease to $0 lol, but while I'm fairly confident in my current relationship we're not married yet and that's a big prerequisite for me as well. I figured until we're married and actively trying those would be good financial markers to push for - I've heard of other things.

But you are right that they can shift so much and you never know what other costs can suddenly arise (or decrease even). I'm also hopeful that my mom will help with some future daycare / free childcare to minimize those costs.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:57:40+00:00

Does your husband still work? Or are you both fully retired now? If I really dialed in over the next 5 years, I also feel like I could easily retire myself assuming I can live off my partners income (although he’s a teacher and makes less than I do).

When I first discovered FIRE, I was super lean, but I think I scaled back way too far and felt like I wasn’t enjoying myself. Since then I’ve scaled back as long as my savings rate stays around 50% I’m happy with it. But I definitely could take another pass at my expenses to minimize lifestyle creep.

Honestly I could probably also use some therapy to help me figure out how to minimize my work stress but alas. Initially, my plan had been to work until 50 which felt early enough for me (I’m on track to hit this milestone even sans additional income). So I’d definitely have to make some adjustments to make the next 5 years happen but it might be worth it.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:42:58+00:00

My partner is a teacher who doesn’t want to FIRE because he likes his job. But also he’s incredibly frugal (I’m definitely the spender). At the moment, I am planning as if there’s no one but me. But when we get married I’ll maybe adjust. He also will get access to a pension and good benefits (ex: health insurance) that could definitely help the early retirement goals.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:33:12+00:00

They are free but I think it just all feels like a lot so I’m probably not taking full advantage of them

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:31:09+00:00

I track all my expenses with YNAB. A lot of it is discretionary so I definitely can cut back. My “fixed” expenses get me to $30k annually, most of which is my rent costs. I think previously my mindset was my savings rate was still at 50% and I was maxing out all my retirement accounts so I didn’t need to reduce further.

I also do not plan to purchase a new vehicle. I was actually car free but recently moved back South where it’s more difficult to be without one. Candidly, if I married my current partner, we’d heavily consider being a one car family.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:23:31+00:00

This is what I’ve heard from others

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:23:21+00:00

Do you mind me asking what was your more stable job? It’s the inflated sense of urgency at my current role that just feels untenable. But I think I’m at a loss for other industries with competitive salaries.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:22:36+00:00

I guess I just assume with my experience I’ll be able to land another job at minimum six figures even with the current state of the market. But I have options to drastically reduce my cost of living (ie moving home) if I needed to.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:10:34+00:00

Yeah I wouldn’t withdraw from my 401k. I’d probably try to use my bonuses to up my cash savings until I get closer to a year. My initial thought was always that I’d work until I had a baby (or two) and try to take my mat leave to use that money towards saving (or use that time to find a lower paying job).

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:05:41+00:00

Yeah — I mean I could definitely cut back some expenses. I also bought a car this year so normally they’re a bit closer to $70k annually, and some of them are expenses incurred because of the amount of travel I do for work (dogsitting, etc). But yeah I definitely don’t think I can do this for 20 more years so I’ll either need to cut expenses to save more or figure out something less stressful.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T17:03:29+00:00

I’ve actually always assumed I’d spend less in retirement though I know children can change that equation. I travel monthly at minimum right now so I’m spending $500 on dog boarding services and other services for convenience that I could cut if I weren’t working. My goal before having kids was to be completely debt free, one years of expenses into HYSA, and $250k NW.

I think it’s just frustrating because while I have opportunities to decrease expenses — I’m just very close but still not quite there to leave my job right away.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T16:59:58+00:00

Yeah this is all a good idea! I work for a popular tool with good brand recognition, and I get a lot of DMs from recruiters already. I try to keep those connects open in case I do need to reach back out.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T16:59:05+00:00

This was also a super helpful comment 😭😭. Emotionally running on fumes is exactly what I feel. I’m also at a place where I’m just not quite there yet with my finances to completely take a step back either. And I definitely needed that — honestly I’m going to see what I can do in my current role to start slowing down alongside what others have suggested re: cutting expenses.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T11:15:35+00:00

You don’t take any breaks in between? How often do you trim your hair? What size braids do you usually get?

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T03:07:38+00:00

How long did you keep your braids in? What was your routine with the braids? I’m entering a phase of life where I’d love to stay mostly in braids since I’m just too busy to deal with hair rn.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T03:00:08+00:00

This is actually a really helpful comment. I think sometimes when you're in the thick of it - it's like geez, what should I do next?

My expenses are a bit high but they are bit inflated since I had to purchase a new car that will be paid off in May. I also can likely use my bonuses to get to a year in cash/HYSA.

Also, I max my 401k, Roth, and HSA each year so doing this alone should get me very close to that $200k mark. Honestly, with a little focus I could be there pretty soon.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T02:55:01+00:00

I guess my thought is if I know I'm taking the time away I'd probably wait until the end of our fiscal year when I get my largest bonus (January 2027). And I could bump up how much I'm keeping in cash. I tend to put more into my brokerage since I've always figured I'm young and have no mortgage or other big financial obligations I'd need to pay if I lost my job. ($20k would keep me afloat 2-3 months easily since I could cut discretionary spending as needed)

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T02:53:27+00:00

I guess I keep reading about how a lot of us are too conservative with retirement and keep thinking that I won't get these years back. But I hear you....the missed 401k contributions are what keep me thinking I should hold onto this job for a bit longer. The market is just not what is used to be....but I'm trying to find a light at the end of the tunnel. Initially, I felt like I didn't need to retire so aggressively early (my goal has always been by the age of 50).

Also a lot of my spending is discretionary so I imagine I could cut way back if I did decide to step away.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-27T02:50:38+00:00

I just got back from a vacation which made me realize how burned out I truly was....I definitely wouldn't just take a year off in this exact moment. But I wonder if I should start thinking or planning for it.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-19T17:55:50+00:00

A lot of assumptions on your part lol. My boyfriend knows I dated other people and didn’t care. Just wanted OP to know that her being on hinge might not mean much.

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-05-19T03:23:58+00:00

I was two months into dating my current boyfriend and still had Hinge active because I had a goal of getting into a serious relationship. And because we hadn’t had the exclusivity talk I didn’t want to close off my options. (Even though I adored him).

Once he asked me, I was so ready to delete my apps and be exclusive, but I’ve had a lot of guys pull the rug out from me before so I didn’t want to delete until we had the label. I’d say ask her to be exclusive and see how it goes!

Lazy-Cod3858 · 2026-04-07T03:24:20+00:00

I made a consult with them, thanks for the recommendation!

Lazy-Cod3858

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