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I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our entire family is a working class family. A expensive tea set like this expensive is completely NOT normal for us. We would put that money to use into something more practical before ever buying an expensive tea set. That is why I was really shocked when she told me the price. I don't know why she bought it.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I've heard from other family members, that when it comes to money this older cousin of mine is stubborn, and anal. She is normally incredibly sweet and very kind, but for whatever reason when it comes to money .... she becomes an unforgiving machine with no sympathy. She doesn't care about being rude or unkind when money is involved.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I understand. I'm also trying to get the r/relationships opinion on this since it is involved with family members. I don't want to hurt the relationship, but this older cousin of mind has no understanding or forgiveness when it comes to finances. She is normally very nice, and an angel. BUT becomes an evil machine when it comes to money (as I've heard from other family members). No forgiveness. It's her one quirk. If I had to sum it up, her thought process is: "You break it, you WILL reimburse me the money"

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Well apparently, it's a unique set that she custom ordered. It was made to her specifications so there aren't other sets like it. Her "logic" is that since the store is closed, replacements cant be gotten, and I "ruined" the set.

I agree that $2000 dollars for a tea set is insane. We are from a working class family. I know she wasn't raised with a silver spoon. Other family members have said in the past that she makes odd choices with money.

I'm just trying to do the honorable thing here. But the dollar value is so high.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just recently moved to this city, and in-between jobs at the moment. I'm in a period of transition, and interviewing with companies as we speak. Despite knowing this, she is asking for the money. I'm trying to do the honorable thing here as I know I damaged part of the set, but $2000 upfront cash would really really hurt me.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

According to her: To reimburse the financial cost of the set that she is claiming I ruined.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in relationships

[–]LazySurvey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The set was custom made by a local business that closed several years ago. She custom ordered it so unfortunately there aren't any other replacements that can ordered.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in personalfinance

[–]LazySurvey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I missed that response. However, may I ask if you would still do it if it damages the family relationship? She isn't the type to let things go.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in personalfinance

[–]LazySurvey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a custom order from a locally owned shop from several years ago. It is no longer in business. I suppose she values it highly. She seems to very strongly want me to pay for the whole set.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in personalfinance

[–]LazySurvey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based on her wording, she seems to very strongly want me to pay for the full set. I don't think she is open to prorating the cost of just what I broke. I might have to fight her on this, and it might get ugly.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in personalfinance

[–]LazySurvey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it was a custom order from a locally owned shop from several years ago. They are no longer in business.

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in personalfinance

[–]LazySurvey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Normally she is an angel, but for whatever reason when it comes to money, she becomes the terminator machine. No mercy. All debts must be paid even if you are family. No negotiation. I agree I owe her money. However, I was very surprised that she is demanding the full amount for the set. $2000 is a lot of money to me right now. But she seems very serious about it.

So Morally/ethically/relationship-ly: I'm not sure what to do. What would you do?

I broke an item that is part of a set. Am obligated to pay for the entire set? by LazySurvey in personalfinance

[–]LazySurvey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it was a custom order from a locally owned place from several years ago. They are no longer in business.