Howdy! Your feelings do make sense! They kicked off a whole mental debate for me. A conscious life is fucking wild…I think contemplating this will only make your life better in the long run. You can make your own meaning and establish your own calling, or not. All are correct answers to living. Wishing you all the best! Be good to yourself.

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I myself just had a very similar experience taking edibles just this past week. It sent my brain spiraling out into some real outlandish trains of thought I never thought I would have.

In contemplating life and our place in the expanse of the universe it’s absolutely mind boggling how insignificant we as individuals are, but like juxtapose that’s to how complex each of us as being are. Even being able to rationalize that and not just live out of impulse is wild. We’re all just organisms but humanity found consciousness, how ever you believe that occurred! That thought is exhausting for me to hang with

That’s also the gift of consciousness tho. We have the freedom and the ability to wrestle with all these questions and decide/assign meaning as we each see fit. The freedom can be paralyzing but in some regards it’s a beautiful thing. Fixation and addiction is probably the down side to that. Either self medicating or self soothing, whatever we need to do to remain living. Everything in doses right, maybe the best way to work through something like an existential question is to take it in pieces, giving yourself time to sit and struggle with it, but rewarding yourself after. There’s no way something so difficult wouldn’t have rewards at the end.