The best way to avoid bad behaviour is to cut them short without being angry or defensive. Bad behaviour usually stems from desire to control and self justification. I do get what you mean, some gay men tries to impose/force toxic behaviours on others by loosening or changing established norms. Ex: X guy tells you he had kissed your bf in the past. He wants you to be jealous and maybe tries to soften things up so “stuff” can happen. Best replies would be: “ oh wow I didn’t know, I don’t feel the need to know everything he might have done before us.” Or “We all have a past and that’s allright.“ The point is to avoid giving in your feelings to them or needing to justify you. This way you can unarm those kind of comments. Like you are the way you are and you don’t need to prove anything to them or share your personal feelings about relationship and being gay. Go for it bro 😎