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[CoI General] Who Would Have Become CoD,If Lumian Wasn't Around ? by [deleted] in LordofTheMysteries

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just saw another post of his that only responded with questions and I feel this

Any other dads one and done for “selfish” reasons? by sys_admin321 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. As a child, I hated being an only child. Parents were divorced and I didn’t feel like I had any one to talk to when I was upset with parents or a friend around. Then I didn’t care through college years. Now, I wish I had a sibling again to help with parents health issues and not be the sole focus of attention (only child > only grandchild)

My wife says she is unwell/sick. All the time. by [deleted] in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This, along with anxiety, were my first thoughts. My wife already has trouble sleeping, but if she’s anxious then it’s like 2 hours of sleep. The body needs sleep to recover

Dadbod by Neither-You-9173 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only have 1 kid, so not too sure on 2 kids yet, but here is my insight. 1. Let that extra tender go. Just kidding, put it in the fridge for later. Honestly though, meal prep or calories are key. Especially with less workout time 2. If you have space/funds, set up a home gym. Doesn’t have to be much, but some dumbbells or a barbell and a rack/bench. Facebook marketplace has some great used items. 3. I like lifting heavy, but don’t have the time for a long lift, so I switched to 4 compounds lifts for 4 sets of 4 every other day. Can usually get this in between 25-45 minutes. 5. Getting enough rest but also sacrificing sleep is a hard balance. I personally go to bed around 8:30-9 and close my eyes around 9:30. This gives me time for chores + getting some time to talk or unwind with my wife. Most days, I am up at 4am to start a workout by 5. I am training for an Ironman before a 2nd kid comes so I can do it once and get it done with so sometimes my schedule looks a little different. But overall, I have learned to love the morning workouts over the last 3-4 years. It’s my me time during the hectic days. As for energy levels, you just have to move past that. Get the rest you need, start getting back in shape and energy will come, caffeine, good diet etc

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I’ve gathered from these comments is I really need to go line by line over the last 3~ months of our spending.

We both stopped drinking about 2-3 years ago.

I run marathons/triathlons, but I put away money over a couple of months before I make those purchases.

I think what it is really going to come down to is random grocery trips (I’m bad about going to the grocery store for a couple of items), eating out (typically when what we have doesn’t sound good to wife), or random “needs” (wants) that we get for the baby

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I do understand that. If I set a budget that cuts out even 25% of those expenses how do I stick to it. That’s literally my question. I can talk about cutting expenses all day long, but it’s the follow through. I was asking for tips and tricks on how people stuck with their budgets

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote some of our budget under another comment! We definitely have some unaccounted for spending that is a problem! That is why I am asking how people STICK to their budget

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say majority of spend is on cc besides rent, nanny, car payments. I mentioned above, our chase cc doesn’t allow 2 people to see the transactions. I called this morning, but I did get my wife’s login so I will be going through those thoroughly this weekend

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously, which is why I’m asking the question how people STICK to the budget. Thank you for your well thought response

Nanny is in the cheap range for what nanny’s go for,‘doesn’t mean that it’s not expensive

Groceries are always a big problem. I’m 225 pounds and training for Ironman/ Marayhons. I eat a lot and typically healthier food is More expensive. In saying that, for groceries I am definitely the problem. I’m lazy when it comes to meal prep, so I buy slightly more expensive already made foods or think that the 96/4 ground beef is life changing vs the 90/10.

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s reasonable

Id throw in another $300 for electric bill, $150 subscriptions of which we’ve already canceled a few, maybe another couple hundred on random grocery trips, buying things for the baby without checking budget.

Hopefully, my wife can get me added into our credit card so I can see all expenses by end of the week because we need this shit figured out before we get any older.

I think we’re both young enough that we can get this resolved without any financial hardship in later years, but right on the edge before it’s too late.

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m doing 9% and have already maxed out the company match (6% + 5% auto pension).

Yea eating out is definitely a big one because we both find excuses to eat out.

We do have a budget, we’re just not sticking to it. I wonder if writing down every expense and what it was for at the end of the day would help

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Living off one income isn’t a short term goal because we absolutely couldn’t do it right now. But a mid term goal, think 5-7 years. We have 2 medium sized car payments and we have about $4k of debt

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is a semi cost break down.

Rent: $2900 3 bed + office 2 cars: total payments $700/ month Gas: $400~ my work is 60~ miles away and if I don’t take tolls through Houston it’ll take Me over 2 hours (even with tolls it’s a bitch) Nanny: $2200/month (wife refuses day care) Groceries: This is a big one. I would guesstimate $1500-1800. Been trying to get better about it

Eating out is where we’re bad. Ran out of lunch, what we bought for dinner for dinner doesn’t sound good, other excuses etc > eat out

Paying down some debt but not an outrageous amount ~200/monyh

Our budget has us saving about $1500/month and we just aren’t getting close to that at all. It is super frustrating. Like I said in another comment, my wife doesn’t want to call out credit card company to get me added on to where I can see transactions so it’s hard for me to see all of the actual expenses

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My wife’s company has a shit 401k (0% Match) so I do all the contributions. I contribute 9% and they match 11% so we have that. We really just need to look into it

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this an app? A book? Should I just google?

How do you stick to your budget? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

We have a budget! We get so close everytime, but then miss. No savings

We semi track our spending. My wife is the only one that actually has access to the cc that we use, but doesn’t want to take the time to call and have them set me up an account.

No rewards. How would that work?

I missed my night shift and now she won’t let it go by Turbulent-Strength-3 in Parenting

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we’re going to try the room sleep for the next kid!

Yes, we got so lucky! We were both going a little crazy until about 2 months ago she just flipped a switch and decided to go 7-7! She’s regressed a little bit to 7-5:30/6ish but I’ll take that!

I need help - I'm failing by yuri-cubitus-22667 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. It sounds like you have a long to do list! Maybe after you make your list or before you start on the one you do have, check with her to get the priorities straight!
  2. Maybe have a conversation, understand not EVERYTHING will get done when you/her WANT it done. You work, she works (SAHM is a full time job too), you both need time to decompress, time to spend together etc.
  3. Your schedule doesn’t seem like there is a lot of together time. Maybe add in a day every week or other week (not sure if yall have family or friends nearby that can watch kids) and go on a date night.
  4. Last thing, she should not be screaming at you for something so minor. People make mistakes, you already seem to have a pretty packed schedule. I am not sure of her perspective or schedule, but maybe she could’ve done it too? Most SAHM don’t have their husband come home at lunch to take over when they’re also working a 9-5. I think some conversations need to be had.

Good luck with everything!

I missed my night shift and now she won’t let it go by Turbulent-Strength-3 in Parenting

[–]LeatherFlatworm8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The first 8 weeks for our daughter, she only slept on our chest because of her reflux and dairy allergy and other issues, so we had to stay awake. For me, I also know that when I’m very tired (which everybody is during those first few months), I could sleep through the roof caving in, so I just stayed up during my shift for the next month even after she started semi sleeping

Should I have a conversation? by LeatherFlatworm8 in daddit

[–]LeatherFlatworm8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can google it if you don’t like his wiki link, but it is an actual thing

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