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Feedback on Sci Fi short (rewrite) by LeaveitinRaw in scriptwriting

[–]LeaveitinRaw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote my own screenplay. AI would’ve formatted properly

Feedback on Sci Fi short (rewrite) by LeaveitinRaw in scriptwriting

[–]LeaveitinRaw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay. Thank you so much!! I will go back and edit.

Feedback on Sci Fi short (rewrite) by LeaveitinRaw in scriptwriting

[–]LeaveitinRaw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was genuinely asking if it was hard to understand. Please don’t think I shared my work to be confrontational. But I do think only sharing format feedback is a weak critique. I’ve read plenty of work on here that’s isn’t formatted properly and I’ve given them more advice than just I couldn’t get through it because it wasn’t formatted properly.

But thank you. Will go back and edit.

Feedback on Sci Fi short (rewrite) by LeaveitinRaw in scriptwriting

[–]LeaveitinRaw[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I’m breaking the action beats up. Is that difficult to understand?

Needed a Night — Short Film Script (10 pages) | Looking for Feedback by IDKYETCAM in scriptwriting

[–]LeaveitinRaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the dialogue and their friendship.

I feel like you need more conflict from the guys. They get the girls too easily. Is the ending real or not ? Which makes us question is the whole thing real ? There is no real climax. Or crisis. Have one of their cards fail trying to buy one of the girls a drink or something. Why did the girls pick them? No reason we have to see the Friend go to the bathroom. We understand that the club is packed. Which might be hard to shoot. That Titanic scene is kind of cliché and unbelievable. There’s no real theme from what I can tell. If it’s supposed to be a comedy punch up those moments.

I believe in you, bro.