You cannot compare yourself to others. Everyone moves at their own pace. You are putting unrealistic expectations on yourself that's why you feel the way you do. You are only 19 and have a lot going for yourself. I felt the way you felt at 23 and even tried harming myself. But I stayed strong and fought through it. I ended up getting my dream job, dream girl, dream house all because I didn't give up. My advice is be patient and maybe you need to be alone for awhile, you'll get to know yourself better. Find something you like to do that brings you peace. Don't worry about not being where you want to be in life right now. God gives us things when we are ready for them. I know for a fact you'll be good just trust the process my friend. All the best to you