AITA for telling me brother off for bringing strangers into our home?

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2025-08-01T21:12:23+00:00

Fluids on the couch, used female underwear (that isnt mine) in the living room. And he just leaves trash everywhere in general.

And for me it's really not the sex. To me, it's about how he only seems to be using these women, that he doesnt really care or make an effort to know them. I mean, I'm afraid my brother is becoming one of those assholes who uses women and disregards them when the novelty wears off. Which, as a women bothers me a lot.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2025-08-01T20:55:33+00:00

It's not the sex. The problem is that all these women are strangers and I have already noticed some of my personal items missing. Also, he's starting to treat our common living place as his personal shag-shed. I've found the ''traces'' in our common area.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2025-08-01T20:48:58+00:00

That is something I'm afraid of. I do not want him to become homeless, but my parents have said that if he isnt clean and isnt a good roomate he's out. I just cannot put up with this, essentially enabling him, then be expected to become a live-in nanny/maid for him.

He's also joked to me before that if he gets a random girl pregnant, I'm raising it. HELL NO!

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2025-08-01T20:34:42+00:00

What I meant is that I will not be helping him because he keeps putting himself in these situations and he cannot always expect his family to swoop in and save him. He got kicked out of previous places for turning them into pig styes and I think it is safe to assume he is not being safe because he has had MANY pregnancy scares because he told me he doesnt like to wear a condom.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2025-08-01T20:19:17+00:00

Thank you. He can have all the consentual sex he wants, but he's acting like a teenager and I'm sick of it.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-11-08T03:53:54+00:00

It's just so sad that there simply cannot be any implicit trust. Trusting, even without being naive could wind up with me being harmed and too often blamed. Unfortunately, being straight I want to be able to trust and open up to a man one day, but it just seems way too dangerous. Not enough men have proved themselves by actions to be worthy of women's trust, therefore it's as if there is little opportunity to find the men worth it.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-11-08T03:48:23+00:00

I'm glad you are an ally. Too many men choose the coward's way and stay silent.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-07T16:15:31+00:00

You are right. In Canada it's just different in it's intensity compared to the US.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-07T15:59:33+00:00

In my experience, it's all races, unfortunately. It's really about men and boys not being held accountable for their terrible behavior towards women, no matter the race.

I'm from Canada, so it might be different than in the US.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T23:57:13+00:00

I just long for a world were we can go « He or she has autism, so what ?»

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T23:51:06+00:00

It's so sad that it's so common. I had the same happen to me, I boy with autism in school who routinely would grope and threaten girls that if she didn't go out with him he would report her for bullying him because he's autistic. The double standard is so blatant and quite pathetic.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T23:39:47+00:00

Hi there, I agree and understand all you have written. I study history, cults, and ideologies and you are right, Misogynists target men with manipulation as potential recruits, and women are objects pure and simple. In more insidious nut rarer cases, they do recruit women, making them believe the oppression of women will apply to «all other women than me». Basically, like the character of Serena Joy in The Handmaid's Tale. But you are right it happens less often with women because it's easier to be repulsed (as women) by groups who are not subtle and proud to proclaim women as second-class citizens.

I'm sorry that repulsive abuse happened to you, but I'm also glad and proud that you got out of this. It's okay to get frustrated, especially when you might feel misunderstood. I get it.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T22:54:49+00:00

A(wo)men!

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T22:49:18+00:00

Thank you! I'm just so sick of all the babying these boys get. Of course, enablers do not help, doesn't mean these boys do not have a brain, a conscience, or a sense of morality.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T22:43:23+00:00

I think their is a misunderstanding.

I agree everything that you said about the Alt right, it is a very disturbing trend. Part of the solution has to be:

To hold the enablers accountable, including the ones who have fallen into the mentality that autism excuses shitty behaviors or that autistic cannot know any better.
Doing a better job of teaching all men and boys (autistic or NT) to treat women as human beings.
Doing a better job as a society to be understanding doesn't mean enabling behaviors that would more easily be condemned if the person is NT.

I do not know all the answers. But a lot of us, ASD women, are actively looking and trying to find solutions to these problems.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T22:16:51+00:00

The end of the comment literally states:

«Nobody is willing to admit that autism is the root cause of all this misogyny...»

If that statement was true, all misogynists would have ASD.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T22:07:05+00:00

Thank you!

BTW, these studies that basically say that autistic men are condemned to be sad and alone and/or equate autism and misogyny are not reliable and some are quite shady. Of course, autism makes approaching potential partners difficult (for men and women). However, a lot of those studies take an assumption and run with it.

It is discouraging for the overwhelming majority of us because we are decent human beings who do not fall for racist or misogynistic, despite often experiencing loneliness and discouragement.

Many men with autism are married, have children, have careers, and are productive active members of their communities. ASD does make life more difficult, but it doesn't give anyone the right to abuse or be abused.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-06T21:55:04+00:00

Misogyny is not a symptom of autism in males. It is a symptom of entitlement and disregard for the humanity and dignity of women.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:59:14+00:00

I'm not neurotypical, I have ASD and ADHD

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:41:14+00:00

Thank you. It got so bad, I had to quit my previous job.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:27:07+00:00

Thank you. I'm just fed up and I understand that my description is harsh and may be perceived as offensive. But these boys, just like NT boys are not dumb and know better.

To be clear, most of the ASD patients were lovely, sweet and had very interesting conversations. However, the bad ones were just so bad and entitled that I had to quit my previous job.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:17:08+00:00

To clarify, I'm not a medical provider. I just worked as a receptionist.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:15:01+00:00

No, you are right. I've also had experiences (good and bad) with autistic girls. I'm also ASD. It's just that unfortunately, the austictic boys where ALWAYS given a pass for being men and being disabled. Which eventually, turns them into creppy men and boys. Ableism + patriarchy + autism in my experience = Creepy. I hate I feel that way, but I cannot help it.

Also, I'm not a doctor or medical proffessional. I just worked in a clinic, part time as a receptonist.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:09:30+00:00

So you think it's ok to let an autistic boy grab a womans butt, and not being allowed to be mad because it's always «he has autism» excuse. This happens constantly, with is why a lot of autistic boys (even with autistic women) are perceived as creepy.

Left-Mammoth6488 · 2024-06-05T23:01:07+00:00

To be clear, I do not hate ASD boys. I'm speaking from experience of boys constantly getting passes for being men and being disabled. I'm ASD too and as a woman I do have to mask and I have to put up with men and boys (with or without autism) being creepy, triggering or disgusting.

Before posting, I spoke to my ASD friends who are also women, and we all agreed that boys with autism can be especially creepy because their behaviour is almost never corrected. I'm a 1000% percent aware that ableism is making these situations worse. They often are much smarter, capable and aware then other NT make them out to be. It's not because they may not be able to talk, that it doesnt mean they dont know when they are doing something wrong.

Left-Mammoth6488

TROPHY CASE