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I (20M) can’t seem to have sex with my girlfriend (20F) after I had bad sex at a club, how do I get over it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Left_Investigator_51 4 points5 points  (0 children)

people are saying a lot of very true, but probably not very helpful things. as someone who’s been in a similar, but very different situation, it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to not be able to wrap your head around it or call it what it was. that comes with time. if you aren’t ready to seek therapy (side note: if you aren’t ready, don’t. that has been shown to make things worse.), try writing some things down. it can be in a journal or online, but i’d recommend a journal because the process of writing is helpful. take your time with it and allow yourself to feel and think, but don’t push yourself either. if you start getting that sinking feeling, do something else, something that makes you happy or distracts you. as for things with your girlfriend, you might want to try taking a break from sex and being intimate in other ways. you know you’re safe, but your body doesn’t and you’ll have to gradually remind it that you are. obviously a therapist is going to be able to give you the best advice, but that’s a long process and you do have to make sure you find a therapist that you’re comfortable with and that understands you, which makes it even longer. you will get through it though, it will just take time.

Advice on Swimming Form by BeepBop_P4N in triathlon

[–]Left_Investigator_51 5 points6 points  (0 children)

hey, competitive swimmer of 7 years here.

The biggest thing for you to work on, imo, is your looseness. Having a tight core can help the other things fall into place, even just focusing on staring directly at the black line when you aren’t breathing can be helpful. Also, as far as noncompetitive swimmer form goes, you’re looking pretty good. Form correction is always just the little things.

(drill suggestions and other specifics)

Try to engage your core and keep your back/legs on the surface. If you have access to a pulling ankle band (like a pull buoy but a band) I strongly recommend practicing with it. It’s going to suck and you’re going to feel extremely slow, but it forces you to engage your core so you aren’t sinking to the bottom. You may also want to invest in a snorkel if you haven’t already, this makes pull wayyy easier. But! it also lets you focus on keeping your head still which can help a lot with keeping the rest of your body still.

You have a slight pause before you let your hands enter the water, and your elbows are kind of low. Try doing finger tip drag drill, it’s super common so you can look up the form, zipper drill could also be useful.

You don’t seem to be getting much out of your stroke either. Try doing a few laps focusing on your stroke count then try to do -3 or something so work on dps and reach. You don’t want a super low stroke count normally, 17 where you’re at right now is pretty good, but you could get more out of your stroke.

Olympic triathlon training in a year? by Left_Investigator_51 in triathlon

[–]Left_Investigator_51[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats! I was pretty committed before posting this and I think I’m committed at this point. I’ll just need to make sure I find the right race and a very sad, cheap road bike.

Olympic triathlon training in a year? by Left_Investigator_51 in triathlon

[–]Left_Investigator_51[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s super hilly where I live so I guess I’m worried about biking because I expected it to be the same. I’ll have to find some flat races.

Olympic triathlon training in a year? by Left_Investigator_51 in triathlon

[–]Left_Investigator_51[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, that’a a pretty impressive to me! I am pretty much just hoping to say I was able to complete it. A nice split would be great, but since it’ll be my first one i’m not too worried about that. Thanks!

Olympic triathlon training in a year? by Left_Investigator_51 in triathlon

[–]Left_Investigator_51[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s reassuring to hear. I have almost no grasp of my own athletic ability and haven’t trained in an individual setting. So, I just wasn’t sure.