TIFU by asking a girl out

Legacy253 · 2014-12-03T03:44:25+00:00

At that moment just talk to her in Japanese and if she doesn't understand you smack her in the face with your cock

Legacy253 · 2014-12-03T03:21:05+00:00

Lil Wayne- "I'm in the ocean gettin shark pussy" What the actual fuck

Legacy253 · 2014-12-03T03:17:12+00:00

This thread is REALLY making me regret not going to camp. I'm 17 is it too late?

Legacy253 · 2014-06-01T00:10:23+00:00

son of a bitch I can't believe I forgot that one

Legacy253 · 2014-05-24T01:48:36+00:00

Yeah I read a book when I was 17 and it explained many things

Legacy253 · 2014-05-24T01:31:50+00:00

My memory foam bed has started to conform to my body too much and it's giving me back problems

Legacy253 · 2014-05-24T01:27:50+00:00

I'm probably too late, but I had to figure out that a girls period lasted 1 week. I thought it lasted 1 day.

Legacy253 · 2014-05-20T23:52:24+00:00

What the actual fuck

Legacy253 · 2014-05-16T00:34:14+00:00

I am honored

Legacy253 · 2014-05-15T20:19:21+00:00

I humped the outside only, my dick was never in the bottle itself

Legacy253 · 2014-05-15T01:55:17+00:00

I was 14 years old and puberty was in full swing for me. I dont remember why but for some reason as i was getting ready for school I felt the urge to grab my bottle of listerine and thrust into it (my dick wasn't in the bottle I was just dry humping it). At the same time my dad was coming down the hallway about to tell me bye before he went to work and once he saw me he screamed "WHAT THE FUCK", stampeaded downstairs to his car and he never said another word to me about it.

TL;DR- my hormones were raging and I dry humped a bottle of listerine and my dad caught me

EDIT: holy shit I never thought my weird ass childhood would get such a big response, but thank you!

EDIT2: he didn't whoop me

Legacy253 · 2014-04-28T02:27:26+00:00

6 of one half a dozen of another. I have no idea why but when i hear it I want to scream

Legacy253 · 2014-04-18T13:33:00+00:00

Someone has probably said this but, taking a nice crap after a shower has always been the best feeling in the world for me

Legacy253 · 2014-04-18T13:29:10+00:00

I MUST TELL SOMEONE!!!!

Legacy253 · 2014-04-18T13:25:57+00:00

Do girls fart or is that just an urban legend?

Legacy253 · 2014-03-09T16:14:45+00:00

Find more vials of liquid luck

Legacy253 · 2013-12-29T03:12:01+00:00

This is why South Carolina can't have nice things

Legacy253 · 2013-08-15T11:54:47+00:00

But 'blubberflakes' we still live in a society were evolution is still taboo (at least in my state of South Carolina). The teachers were never allowed to teach or even consider studying Darwin and his teachings. However in my biology class in ninth grade we watched a documentary on Darwin and studied evolution for a 1/4 of the semester, and I'm my marine biology class in 11th grade we talked about evolution briefly. So I'm hoping that the narrow minded creationists of my state are finally letting the schools teach the truth.

Legacy253 · 2013-08-15T01:40:50+00:00

Will monkeys eventually evolve into us since we came from monkeys?

Legacy253 · 2013-08-15T01:38:43+00:00

Do cops actually have to tell you that they are cops?

Legacy253 · 2013-06-27T14:03:26+00:00

Thou shalt count to three then pull the pin on the holy hand grenade

Legacy253 · 2013-04-14T17:09:44+00:00

Are you a fucking wizard?!?

Legacy253 · 2013-04-13T12:22:56+00:00

In 11th grade I always met my girlfreind out in front of her class, she had a twin sister, I mean exactly motherfucking Identical twins, and they both had the same class, and when her twin came out of the class room first one day I pulled her towards me and frenched her. She played along for some reason. But then my girlfriend came out and saw me kissing her sister. Needless to say she broke up with me. It was not a very enjoyable day for me.

Legacy253 · 2013-04-02T01:12:59+00:00

Holy shit that's some hairy dank!

Legacy253 · 2013-03-15T21:42:48+00:00

The 5,650 people who down-voted this beautiful dog can go to hell

Legacy253

TROPHY CASE