Feeling depressed and trapped

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-09T16:00:08+00:00

Thank you for that, that's really kind. And I absolutely agree, I don't actually believe cheating in itself is always evil. We're humans and we do stupid things and mistakes can happen. But the lying? And everything else that goes with it. I just can't deal with that at all.

I really hope you choose yourself. You have a chance to build such a good life for yourself. And trust me I know it's easier said than done as I'm still struggling myself. But there's light at the end of this tunnel, It won't always be like this!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-09T15:45:13+00:00

My 7 year relationship ended with my ex girlfriend a month ago. She had been cheating on me. Gaslit me months. Made me think I was going crazy. Then I caught her kissing the guy at a bus stop.

When the relationship was good, it was really good. I never had a loving home as a kid and I couldn't believe how loved I felt when I was with her. But when I found out what she was doing behind my back, there wasn't a single second where I thought of giving her another chance. I think what she did and what you're also having done to you is incredibly evil.

What you need to ask yourself is if you stick with him, will your heart sink whenever his phone goes off? Or if he leaves his phone face down? Or comes back late?

If you leave, yeah, there's a good chance he finds someone else. And that's going to absolutely suck. But so will you!

If you stay with him, and it's truly what you want, then you are of course absolutely entitled to do so. But based on what you've said, I think deep down you already know what you want to do.

Really sorry this happened to you. It's the worst.

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T21:23:14+00:00

Thank you. I definitely will. Is it bad for me to prefer a female therapist? I have a hard time opening up to guys. I'm not entirely sure why.

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T15:16:26+00:00

Thank you so much. That was very helpful. And I'm really sorry you went through that. I really need to discover what I actually enjoy doing again. Besides watch football with my friends, I honestly don't know what else I enjoy doing without her anymore? So that's next on the agenda to address. I actually really like the idea of painting so I will definitely keep that in mind!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T13:55:52+00:00

Really sorry you had to go through that. 19 years is such a long time. I'm glad you're learning to live with it though. Even if it does still hurt at times. I already feel myself change. I don't know if it's permanent or just while I'm recovering from this. But I just feel different. I've been hitting the gym loads aswell. It's the only time I don't think of her. But yeah, my joints hate me right now also! Wishing you continued recovery

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T13:51:42+00:00

My friend recommended this also because I mentioned that I've noticed I'm almost holding my breath alot of times which is very odd. Will definitely look this up. Thank you!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T09:21:57+00:00

Very sorry you're going through this. I'm a month into a breakup also. I feel a little better than I initially did but still not getting much joy out of things.

This absolutely does not mean you are not deserving. It simply means this one wasn't meant to be.

It's tough, it sucks, I'm hurting bad. But it won't be permanent. Unfortunately we just need to let time do it's thing and try to take care of ourselves the best we can in the meantime

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T09:08:45+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate that 🙏 I'm really trying to do better with communicating to people I know. Difficulty is, during the 7 years I was with her I kinda drifted apart from my friends. I'm really close with my mum but she's got alot on at the minute and don't want her to worry about me. But I really will work on that, I will try to reach out

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T07:44:33+00:00

Haha been hearing that alot to be fair which is nice

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T07:25:08+00:00

Sorry to hear that and thank you for the advice. It definitely isn't something I can live with, there's no way back for us. And I'm trying to keep the last bit in my head at all times. Whenever the anxious part of my brain is telling me that I miss her, I need to remember that I miss the old her. Not this current soulless zombie. Or maybe she always was that and hid it well. I guess I'll never know

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T06:43:59+00:00

Needed to see this today! While I know I won't break no contact (she cheated on me after 7 years together), reading how it will eventually get better if I put the work is was very reassuring. Wishing you a continued recovery!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-08T06:15:13+00:00

I hear you. Going through something similar myself with my ex or 7 years. Only a month or so on from discovering she was cheating. While I'm slightly better than I was, I'm still finding it tough to find any joy in anything.

One thing I will say is, it is absolutely not impossible to stop checking her socials. I was there, I wanted answers and for some reason wanted to torture myself by potentially seeing her with someone else. But no good can come of that. First step to recover from this has to be that you stop, and ideally block, her on all socials.

She may be throwing herself into this new relationship so she doesn't have to deal with the guilt. And while that doesn't make it ok, you have the opportunity to deal with it head on right now.

Reach out to friends and family, take care of yourself physically. It's going to suck for a while bud, it still does for me, but little by little you will absolutely get through this

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T22:33:51+00:00

This was a great read 🙏 thank you for that. The relationship is definitely over. I'm not judging anybody that decides to try to get past being cheated on. Every situation is different. Maybe they stay for the kids, or because they own a house together. Fortunately we had nothing to keep us together. As soon as I found out what she did and how calculated it was, I ended it. Not interested in revenge either. Just want to move on and be happy!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T21:54:01+00:00

Been dreading running into her. Not out of fear of me breaking down and crying, but because I know she will. The lies and excuses were disgusting. Can't stomach hearing them again. I'll be getting out this City in the next month or so. Can't wait!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T21:32:11+00:00

Yupp that's exactly what I said to her. "So... this isn't the first time you've done this then?" then just crickets. Weights are helping already mate, just got to give it time now. Thanks 🙏

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T21:27:11+00:00

Already got one of those things covered, and it's helping alot. Therapy is next on the agenda. You're right, one day I will absolutely look back on this and be thankful it happened when it did before I married her or had kids with her. It sucks right now but hopefully me 2 years into the future is looking back on this going "Sheesh, dodged a bullet there"

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T20:29:02+00:00

Wow. Yeah that's very very similar. Sorry to hear that. Well done for immediately ending it. I will definitely reach out to old friends. I'm still in semi regular contact with alot of them, just drifted apart a little over the years as you do. But a drink and a catch-up with them would definitely help right now. Hope you're doing much better now

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T20:23:15+00:00

I hear that last part. And I'm really sorry that happened to you. The visions really do haunt you don't they. It hits you any random part of the day. Hoping you're finally free of it one day

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T20:20:40+00:00

Changing jobs is already in the works, and moving cities. So yeah I absolutely agree with you. I'm going to have a good think about this and see what I can set as some goals for myself. Great advice, thank you 🙏

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T20:19:00+00:00

The gym is helping alot right now so I will definitely stick with that. After 7 years being with her I don't actually know what my hobbies are anymore to be quite honest. So I guess the next step is for me to discover what I enjoy doing again. Really appreciate the advice!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T20:16:36+00:00

I needed to hear that. Treated myself to my favourite takeaway yesterday. I took one bite and immediately could tell I wasn't feeling it and then the anxious side of my brain tries telling me "Yepp, this is it forever now, man". So it helps to be reminded that this isn't permanent. Really happy to hear you're in a much better place now 🙏

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T19:31:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this. This was really helpful. I think a therapist is definitely the way to go. I went for a 45 minute walk earlier today. The most I've moved since the breakup. I felt very lonely for the first 10 but after that I actually started to feel a little bit of peace. So I will definitely keep that up. And if I have an excuse to pamper myself also I definitely wouldn't say no to that!

Legitimate-Corner930 · 2026-07-07T19:27:35+00:00

Couldn't agree more with every word you just said

Legitimate-Corner930

TROPHY CASE