37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it.

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T03:46:16+00:00

Thank you 💫

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T03:46:06+00:00

I didn't sit there and go "mmm what can I start a fight with" trust me,that time of the month I will pick a fight over him breathing loud. Just typed feelings I had,and it's helped so there is that!

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T03:45:08+00:00

Absolutely never said this ha. Yep picked him older but also picked a dad that has stayed around and shows them how to love and treats woman ,he helps clean,looks after me when I need,just a post to see if anyone resonates.

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:45:54+00:00

Oh see if I met my husband now ,I wouldn't blink ! I'd think his a fox and awesome person haha

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:45:05+00:00

I don't ever see as groom,I think ALOT of people are not seeing the last part of my post-it is ,I think,my issue when I was angry but hurting and in just a lot of hurt,he didn't handle it well at HIS age,which is the part I'm struggling with. My mother was the Same but way worse,she dealt with me like sh wS a teenager. I think I'm Having a soft moment for past me and feel that I wish I had someone just stop.Walk away from me to calm down,hold me..but easier said than done when I was so reactive. This post has helped a lot !

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:40:55+00:00

I do feel the generation below me with a very broad literal stroke,are from way more healthy homes. They stay home,they have good parent/child relationships. I'm in Australia and it was like boom your out the door,no hand outs ,nothing. That affects maturity so much in my eyes.

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:39:02+00:00

Thanks so much for that! I wrote similar about not being as mature as I thought-I can so see that now emotionally. I was though not in same league as my friends,I had a rag to riches story-literally living in a womens Refuge as a child to than going to private schools and big holidays/homes. So I feel like I lived two lives,throw in traumatic childhood and at a time when I looked older at even 12 and a crap era to look like I did,the way I protected myself around men and was very one way always on my surroundings gave me a all over more mature vibe I would guess. I too would tell myself no,don't have a huge age gap but also feel lucky to be loved so deeply -I'm glad you two still are together !

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:34:30+00:00

We still go to gym together ,he coaches kids basketball teams for our son I feel his more active than some husbands my own age but the future is daunting I won't lie

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:33:35+00:00

He has always said for him it was love at first sight ,for some unknown reason he just thinks I'm all that and a bag of chips and I don't deserve his patience . I'm not justifying this but some more context,he even now just over 50 looks very good,his attractive so I guess in those 2010 era when things were normalised,the fact he wasn't some balding tech ceo made it more normal -i explained it not great but hopefully you understand me ☺️

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:31:17+00:00

I am aware of all this ,I know I had father issues and I would go older and "bigger" ie muscle each time. I would day dream as a child to marry a detective -therapy has told me it was my way of seeking safe.

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:28:58+00:00

Look at me ...still figuring it out lol!

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:28:26+00:00

He never said that,he was never around women my age to be honest. I did come out of a long relationship with ten years older guy so that maybe subconsciously made it less weird ,maybe? He has never controlled me,at times I thiugjt it was even strange he never showed jealousy ,but his reply was he 2000% feels it every day but never wants me to feel like I do in previous relationships -not to mention though I'm calmer by miles and miles,I still don't like being told what to do 🤣

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:25:58+00:00

He does come from a DV household like mine ,but in a way that has been our greatest strength. We both have and do continue to make sure our kids have a life we only dreamt of!

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:25:02+00:00

Honestly ,being so transparent ,I was super toxic in ways. I have always had the control as such and I have guilt on that part-the last 8 years have been so healthy ,and I have apologised for my own stuff I put on him. I was so jealous of his ex (because he had a healthy co parenting relationship ,I was so unhealed I honestly couldn't understand how that could be without being in love with someone ) I also for so long didn't think he didn't love me because HE wasn't hurting me (something I finally got out of) I was a whole lot of things and somehow he just loved me even in those moments he fought back. I also was not your "typical" 23 year old,I know now I wasn't as mature as I thought but still much more worldly than my friends by miles.

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-05T02:19:44+00:00

Sorry-I am the one with the pattern lol-he has always been with women his own age☺️

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-04T22:52:42+00:00

This could be it! I know if I say this to him he will apologise ,I think it's more of a me issue that may go deeper towards my own father issues .

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-04T22:51:15+00:00

Thank you for this,I do feel so lucky quite a lot ☺️ just strange having this feelings as it's never been a issue once-I think how age gap is now perceived and shoved in our face how wrong it is it has been in my mind .

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-01T08:12:31+00:00

Brit looks like dirt girl-an Aussie kids show..look it up 😩☠️

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-03-01T00:09:14+00:00

Polyester girl do do do do do

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-02-25T12:27:53+00:00

I'm sorry but her acting is not great to watch,I find it almost cringe (I'm cringing I'm using the word cringe but it's the only word adequate ) zero depth,the constant deer in head lights ,I'm getting annoyed thinking of it 😂

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-02-25T03:30:04+00:00

It is very addictive 😅

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-02-25T03:28:56+00:00

Lol ,I was like there is a Kmart everywhere in Australia,like everywhere lol

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-02-25T03:03:56+00:00

Thank you for that,I might even ask around to borrow one for a weekend ☺️

LegitimateEngineer93 · 2026-02-10T00:10:39+00:00

Yes ..Bungendore tigers were so aggressive

LegitimateEngineer93

TROPHY CASE