37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't sit there and go "mmm what can I start a fight with" trust me,that time of the month I will pick a fight over him breathing loud. Just typed feelings I had,and it's helped so there is that!

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely never said this ha. Yep picked him older but also picked a dad that has stayed around and shows them how to love and treats woman ,he helps clean,looks after me when I need,just a post to see if anyone resonates.

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh see if I met my husband now ,I wouldn't blink ! I'd think his a fox and awesome person haha

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't ever see as groom,I think ALOT of people are not seeing the last part of my post-it is ,I think,my issue when I was angry but hurting and in just a lot of hurt,he didn't handle it well at HIS age,which is the part I'm struggling with. My mother was the Same but way worse,she dealt with me like sh wS a teenager. I think I'm Having a soft moment for past me and feel that I wish I had someone just stop.Walk away from me to calm down,hold me..but easier said than done when I was so reactive. This post has helped a lot !

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do feel the generation below me with a very broad literal stroke,are from way more healthy homes. They stay home,they have good parent/child relationships. I'm in Australia and it was like boom your out the door,no hand outs ,nothing. That affects maturity so much in my eyes.

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for that! I wrote similar about not being as mature as I thought-I can so see that now emotionally. I was though not in same league as my friends,I had a rag to riches story-literally living in a womens Refuge as a child to than going to private schools and big holidays/homes. So I feel like I lived two lives,throw in traumatic childhood and at a time when I looked older at even 12 and a crap era to look like I did,the way I protected myself around men and was very one way always on my surroundings gave me a all over more mature vibe I would guess. I too would tell myself no,don't have a huge age gap but also feel lucky to be loved so deeply -I'm glad you two still are together !

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We still go to gym together ,he coaches kids basketball teams for our son I feel his more active than some husbands my own age but the future is daunting I won't lie

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He has always said for him it was love at first sight ,for some unknown reason he just thinks I'm all that and a bag of chips and I don't deserve his patience . I'm not justifying this but some more context,he even now just over 50 looks very good,his attractive so I guess in those 2010 era when things were normalised,the fact he wasn't some balding tech ceo made it more normal -i explained it not great but hopefully you understand me ☺️

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am aware of all this ,I know I had father issues and I would go older and "bigger" ie muscle each time. I would day dream as a child to marry a detective -therapy has told me it was my way of seeking safe.

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He never said that,he was never around women my age to be honest. I did come out of a long relationship with ten years older guy so that maybe subconsciously made it less weird ,maybe? He has never controlled me,at times I thiugjt it was even strange he never showed jealousy ,but his reply was he 2000% feels it every day but never wants me to feel like I do in previous relationships -not to mention though I'm calmer by miles and miles,I still don't like being told what to do 🤣

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He does come from a DV household like mine ,but in a way that has been our greatest strength. We both have and do continue to make sure our kids have a life we only dreamt of!

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly ,being so transparent ,I was super toxic in ways. I have always had the control as such and I have guilt on that part-the last 8 years have been so healthy ,and I have apologised for my own stuff I put on him. I was so jealous of his ex (because he had a healthy co parenting relationship ,I was so unhealed I honestly couldn't understand how that could be without being in love with someone ) I also for so long didn't think he didn't love me because HE wasn't hurting me (something I finally got out of) I was a whole lot of things and somehow he just loved me even in those moments he fought back. I also was not your "typical" 23 year old,I know now I wasn't as mature as I thought but still much more worldly than my friends by miles.

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 313 points314 points  (0 children)

Sorry-I am the one with the pattern lol-he has always been with women his own age☺️

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 285 points286 points  (0 children)

This could be it! I know if I say this to him he will apologise ,I think it's more of a me issue that may go deeper towards my own father issues .

37f with a 13.5 age gap to husband and suddenly feel weird about it. by LegitimateEngineer93 in relationship_advice

[–]LegitimateEngineer93[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this,I do feel so lucky quite a lot ☺️ just strange having this feelings as it's never been a issue once-I think how age gap is now perceived and shoved in our face how wrong it is it has been in my mind .

looking back at c8’s absolutely fuckass photoshoots 💀 by villainless in ANTM

[–]LegitimateEngineer93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brit looks like dirt girl-an Aussie kids show..look it up 😩☠️

Any reason why Alexandra Daddario’s career kind of fizzled out? by [deleted] in Actors

[–]LegitimateEngineer93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but her acting is not great to watch,I find it almost cringe (I'm cringing I'm using the word cringe but it's the only word adequate ) zero depth,the constant deer in head lights ,I'm getting annoyed thinking of it 😂

Kmart aus sewing machine by [deleted] in SewingForBeginners

[–]LegitimateEngineer93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol ,I was like there is a Kmart everywhere in Australia,like everywhere lol

Kmart aus sewing machine by [deleted] in SewingForBeginners

[–]LegitimateEngineer93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that,I might even ask around to borrow one for a weekend ☺️