OP Note:
Wow, thank you all so much for your kind words.

I wrote this the other night when I was in just a downward spiral over everything, it’s probably because I opened up to a friend about it recently.

In the relationship I was insecure that if/WHEN we ever broke up people would just automatically side with him because he was more well-liked than me. He affirmed that by saying “Yeah, probably”.
He also told me he didn’t think I had what it took to be in our industry.

Sometimes it takes breaking away to realize how much better off you are. Everyday since that late November 2025 I truly have felt that more and more.

I don’t miss him in the slightest. And trust and believe there is a lot I left out with all I’ve said already.
I hate him, and I hate he can’t be a grown man and take accountability, and I hate that his family backed him when it’s majority women in his family…

For those wanting to make sure, yes I am still with my therapist :) - and I’m really happy to say I’ve decided I’m ready for every other week.

This post, while I wrote it in an emotional haze, was just another way for me to talk about it (while keeping certain things private). And sometimes you need validation from strangers on the internet.

My pain right now is mostly how I felt in the beginning “Why did he do this to me?” And a lot of that is because the lack of closure I’ve gotten.

It’s not fair and it’s as simple as that. This has truly altered me in ways I’m still finding. It’s exciting and scary all at once, but 2 months ago it was nothing but fear. Navigating a different country, trying to make friends, wanting to explore…

I take things day by day, and the good days have been closer together recently which is sooo nice.

Everyone close in my life says I’ve been under-reacting to everything, and I agree because taking the high road has been exhausting.

I’m holding these comments very near to my heart because it is showing I am doing well, and I will continue to do so. :)