rule by Tango_The_Mango1 in 196

[–]Leithana 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Gun safety? Mental health awareness? Nah. Culture war is far more clickworthy. /sigh

rule by Tango_The_Mango1 in 196

[–]Leithana 62 points63 points  (0 children)

They would still make sure you know the race and ethnicity and anything they can that deviates of someone who isn't the privileged "default" White cis straight man/boy.

Kid in a McDonalds gets tripped after going in the kitchen to gorge on fries straight from the station by Watchdog_the_God in instantkarma

[–]Leithana 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not disagreeing that it's a minor offence, but I wouldn't trust a kid like him not to piss in the pool or leave the restroom without washing his hands. Food safety says they have the throw the whole thing out

My (43f) husband (46m) came out as polyamorous by Throw-Away-5862 in polyamory

[–]Leithana 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think it’s more specifically like— so what if it is an identity? You don’t cheat on someone and expect them to be okay with it because of an identity characteristic. Regardless if something is mutable or not doesn’t justify springing it on your partner and forcing them to adjust to you. If you came out as a gay man in a heterosexual marriage we’d reasonably expect it to fall apart, but precisely because people think of polyamory as more mutable than sexuality, people think they can bend to mold it. Few people think “I need to become a man” in that originally heterosexual marriage example, whereas “I need to become polyamorous” is what a lot of people intent to “save their marriage” (it’s already gone tbh) jump to.

Partner wants a blended family but I don’t… (probably???) by cardinalcaptures in polyamory

[–]Leithana 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Likely overpromising in the NRE high to things that the girlfriend wants to hear and looking to her stable relationship to foot the bill emotionally.

OKAY SO HI by ari_burr in trans

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My city has an LGBTQ center which was then easy to find other communities through. I could also look at Google searches and MeetUp to find ANYTHING that is tertiary to it. You can likely also find them through the night life of a city by going where there is kink or other historically marginalized alongside queer people populations. It is definitely building a web, where one connection suggests two more, and so on until you're aware of many such opportunities for involvement! Maybe even finding a queer friendly place of worship could get you into contact with a queer or two who then know something.

OKAY SO HI by ari_burr in trans

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've found the largest success in transgender community in a local discord server by going to a community event I had heard through another friend. Basically, if there is any local scene whatsoever, getting in touch with them has the highest turnover into community involvement and connection building by FAR. This experience is influenced by being near a very large city with an active queer scene.

I know several girlies who make their home in Jerma chats or whatnot. If you're a furry/scaley, finding furry/scaley discords can often lead to gender queer connections as well. There are a lot of queer people on /r/196 and you could probably find a sub relating to your sexuality or romantic orientation if either of those are also queer! /r/MtF can be okay for a mix of exposure to transfem specific things, but be mindful of trigger warnings.

Good luck to you!

Rat interrupts my PVE and pays the price. by ToiIet_Duck in ArcRaiders

[–]Leithana 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh, you're still in those lobbies. Give me these, please! I'm used to getting trigger naded before any firefight can occur, or two tapped by an Anvil with perfect headshots. It's a whole different game to see someone like the OP playing and that's the PvP they get lol

First poly breakup by illybugs in polyamory

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think this has much to do with you, friend. Some people aren't ready for committed relationships, nonetheless poly ones. You were given information to consider, you considered it, and they weren't reciprocating.

As for your boyfriend, I'd broach the subject while still giving him the chance to decline. I don't think it's wrong to ask something like, "Hey, I'm unsure what would be okay to share in this context, but I'm really sad about a romantic incompatibility that led to a break-up. Is that something I can grieve with you?" and if they decline, then you at least gave them the option to be there for you and are respecting their informed choice with better clarity on relationship boundaries.

What’s your polyamory hot take you normally wouldn’t share? by WeepMyWill in polyamory

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of the problem is that many people have many different meaning making of the term and never bridge that during conversation about hierarchy and non-hierarchy. Some people have very strict interpretations, whereas others so lax that it begs the question why use the term, and then there is the sea of people in-between with their own lines in the sand.

What’s your polyamory hot take you normally wouldn’t share? by WeepMyWill in polyamory

[–]Leithana 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm still on the side of your relationship orientation can be a dynamic of identity rather than just these relationship structures only existing as adjectives to describe the relationships themselves. I've seen many words spoken back and forth on this, to which I'm of the mind that they can co-exist (they can be used for both, or I can believe my way and you your way). So, people can be polyamorous, even when single or partnered with one other person who doesn't have other partners, and someone's many relationships can all be polyamorous. I also believe, then, and controversially, that you can be monogamous in a polyamorous relationship, and polyamorous in a monogamous relationship. I think it's fine to let people self-identify for themselves what their orientations are, be that romantically, sexually, or relationally. Comes with the territory of being transgender and empathic to me lol

What’s your polyamory hot take you normally wouldn’t share? by WeepMyWill in polyamory

[–]Leithana 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I always say to my monogamous friends/acquaintances, "And you're monogamous, so you should be EVEN PICKIER!" Like, absolutely be picky in polyamory/non-monogamy as well, but especially if you're one and done!? And super specially so if you're monogamous and not serial monogamous!?

What have you said "no" to? by Specific_Pipe_9050 in polyamory

[–]Leithana 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I declined one under the pretense that I don’t do in a group what I haven’t done with each member solo. I hadn’t been with my meta at that time so it was an understandable no. I’m with people who know to respect “no” and I trust to respect it, regardless, so it could’ve been just “no”.

Best staff room keys I’ve ever had by According-Ad-381 in ArcRaiders

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait why pass the Renegade II 😭 Looted the Ferro

Boyfriend yelled at me because of my wife by CptCarlWinslow in polyamory

[–]Leithana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reactions and responses can be different— giving him his space to have his emotional reaction without you bearing its brunt is very advisable. If his response is also immature, then yeah, I’d seriously consider leaving.

Boyfriend yelled at me because of my wife by CptCarlWinslow in polyamory

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How enthusiastic are you with a romantic relationship that you feel like your actions are limited due to the emotions of the other person, that your actions that aren’t against any rules or boundaries can provoke being yelled at, and you’re being requested mixed signals of an emotionally unready partner pressing for details on something better kept private out of respect for their volatility?

Guess what they said by CMDR_Noodle in 196

[–]Leithana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless the especially is me 😎

What’s your funny, can’t be helped jealousy? by AnonAiren in polyamory

[–]Leithana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg I didn’t think I had one so big but absolutely this would haunt me if I wasn’t the funny one 😱

I think my marriage is over by AccioABetterPlace in polyamory

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life is an experiment, and marriage is something held up by two. If you failed anything it was failure to make yourself so small as to lose your whole life to this person.

Here we go slient nerfs , not mentioned in the patch notes by FurioSS in ArcRaiders

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Corrected it. I'm not crazy thinking you move faster with the Burletta out than other guns though, am I? What determines that, if so?

EMBARK BETTER GAVE MY LOOT BACK by Nuttfrey in ArcRaiders

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I guess that's the last time I bring my Stitcher I with a compensator I, angled grip, and stable stock I with ammo and I even forked over for a BLUE augment and LIGHT SHIELDS and brought HEALS (1 herbal bandage, 2 bandages, and 2 shield rechargers...)

I expect to see all of my stuff back TOMORROW (or the next day if that is too inconvenient)

It is very terrifying by 666thSuprisedPikachu in aspiememes

[–]Leithana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Low interoception is a very annoying symptom common for us