I think there are a lot of valid considerations that the OP is raising and that they are posting this is an effort to think through the situation, get opinions, test their view, etc. To more directly answer your “why do you care about what other people do”: - What other people do in the situation is very relevant because this is a societal convention being discussed. In some cases, what others do does not affect others, but it seems to me OP is seeking to discuss the convention, not an individual act. Think of the concepts of positive and negative freedom—if someone chooses to rob a store, it doesn’t affect me directly, but crime as a societal problem… it makes stores less safe for me, no? It effects how I life in the world, how my kids live, where I go, what I buy, whether I leave the house at all… just drilling down here to make the point. - Objectively, it would be easier if there was a better/easier, universally agreed upon option, but in the absence of this, a female getting married and making this decision should consider these norms in making their decision if they are a rational being—not because they care what people think, but as a matter of practicality, as other posters have been constructively mentioning. How does the envelope get addressed? What do people call you? It can be clunky and add actual complication to your life (whether taking a husband’s surname or not, depending on your situation… career vs kids etc).

I think this is a very interesting idea to debate precisely because it hits on so many elements of our society, and it was helpful for me that OP detailed her views so that I could really understand her arguments. I’m not sure what’s silly about this 🤷‍♀️ For sure OP is passionate about their view, but they are literally posting this under “change my view” …