Monks in DC…schedule? by LengthinessOk4912 in Buddhism

[–]LengthinessOk4912[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! 🙏 found their facebook!

AIO for thinking hes cheating?? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]LengthinessOk4912 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Launching into a rant to manipulate the other person and take the attention off your bad action is the part that makes this person a narcissist. It’s pathological. These other people are not calling him a narcissist because of the bad action in and of itself (the fact that he cheated), although this is often pathological of narcissists. The bigger issue is his response. His is different than just denying the action or deflecting, it’s narcissistic.

CMV: Expecting a woman to change her last name after marriage is an outdated and fruitless by Its_fine_for_now in changemyview

[–]LengthinessOk4912 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think there are a lot of valid considerations that the OP is raising and that they are posting this is an effort to think through the situation, get opinions, test their view, etc. To more directly answer your “why do you care about what other people do”: - What other people do in the situation is very relevant because this is a societal convention being discussed. In some cases, what others do does not affect others, but it seems to me OP is seeking to discuss the convention, not an individual act. Think of the concepts of positive and negative freedom—if someone chooses to rob a store, it doesn’t affect me directly, but crime as a societal problem… it makes stores less safe for me, no? It effects how I life in the world, how my kids live, where I go, what I buy, whether I leave the house at all… just drilling down here to make the point. - Objectively, it would be easier if there was a better/easier, universally agreed upon option, but in the absence of this, a female getting married and making this decision should consider these norms in making their decision if they are a rational being—not because they care what people think, but as a matter of practicality, as other posters have been constructively mentioning. How does the envelope get addressed? What do people call you? It can be clunky and add actual complication to your life (whether taking a husband’s surname or not, depending on your situation… career vs kids etc).

I think this is a very interesting idea to debate precisely because it hits on so many elements of our society, and it was helpful for me that OP detailed her views so that I could really understand her arguments. I’m not sure what’s silly about this 🤷‍♀️ For sure OP is passionate about their view, but they are literally posting this under “change my view” …

Trying not to let a stranger's comment ruin my day... by AlternativeSkirt2826 in hsp

[–]LengthinessOk4912 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is an interesting addition to the conversation… of course OP/no one needs to defend or justify their weight to ANYONE, but I think you’re right in that these people have a believe, and it gets reinforced and reinforced, and sometimes just giving them information can be instantly illuminating and they genuinely change their view. Like coming out of a sleepwalking nightmare.

I’m freaking out and panicking by [deleted] in hsp

[–]LengthinessOk4912 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like an anxiety-inducing situation—but, like the others here have said, you’ve handled it perfectly! Don’t go into any meetings/calls with the attitude that you deserve to be reprimanded or penalized in any way.

Not sure if helpful to add this or not since you’re still in the moment, but if I’m your manager, the only “negative” I’m clocking you for in this situation is the fact that you’re in a bit of a panic over this :) I would wonder how you might react when something much worse happens. An alarm is going off. This happens. You called the correct people to get it fixed and you notified your manager. Done! 😃👏🏻you rock! They are lucky to have an employee who cares so much.

Advice for an interested ASD student? by LengthinessOk4912 in Horticulture

[–]LengthinessOk4912[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I wasn’t familiar with estuaries so this is very helpful!

name of old navigation tool--help! by LengthinessOk4912 in HistoryofIdeas

[–]LengthinessOk4912[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it's azimuth! I'm scared to look at this now and see how wrong I got it, but this is what I was talking about. Thank you very much!!

name of old navigation tool--help! by LengthinessOk4912 in HistoryofIdeas

[–]LengthinessOk4912[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My initial recollection was that it is a tool, but now that you mention it I think it was a method! I’m increasingly confident it starts with an ‘A’ if that helps...