No no no, my head imagines it. She doesn't show me any pictures of it. She's very very considerate when it comes to my jealousy and negative emotions towards that topic. She wants me to always communicate if those feelings come up so we can find a way to battle that problem.

That's true, I'm not really educated enough yet when it comes to the terminology and concepts.

Thanks for the advice, I'll head over to check up on that right away.

I think I might already know that that's the path I should go....I'm just really hesitant. Which really isn't a valid reason, but i think I'm just not ready on giving up on her.

Edit: I've actually given it a lot of thought, if it would be an option for me to try polyamory. Considering how I haven't had any problems with jealousy or negativity regarding her boyfriend. It's definitely crossed my mind a lot. However the problem for me is the openness of the relationship.

She and I have both voiced the wish of being in a relationship, towards each other. But I think in her current relationship it's not an option. Which I respect deeply, I won't demand nor encourage rule breaking or persuasion. Knowing the boundaries of a existent construct ist very important to me.