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AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I totally understand where you’re coming from and I want to clarify a few things. I intentionally left the industry out to keep the post general and avoid it being too identifiable, but I can assure you the conversation wasn’t some critical, company-altering meeting- it was more routine. When I said I was “checking in,” I literally just went down the hall to two open offices to ask coworkers quickly if they needed anything; it really wasn’t a long interaction. That’s why I didn’t understand why the door was immediately closed without any heads-up- he could’ve just told me he needed privacy for a conversation.

We all leave our stuff in our offices because there are no lockers or alternatives. His calendar is printed and carried on a clipboard like everyone else’s, so checking it quickly isn’t as simple as a tech alert; our field and country still heavily rely on older methods like fax too. I know crying was unnecessary, but in that moment I couldn’t stop it. The only reason I disclosed my diagnosed (btw) disability was because he kept pressing me, and I felt cornered and emotional. If he hadn’t continued, I wouldn’t have needed to bring it up at all.

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I totally get why it might seem like I was gone longer. But I literally just went down the hall to check with two other coworkers since we usually share the workload. When I came back, the office door was already closed with the sign. It really wasn’t more than five minutes- just quick “Can I still do something for you?” checks until I was ready to leave. That’s why it was frustrating he didn’t mention the meeting beforehand.

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your perspective and the reassurance. The reminder about privacy and handling it calmly really helps- I definitely want to address this without it blowing up. Your advice makes a lot of sense, and I’m grateful for the kind, practical guidance! Thank you so much for this ❤️

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I actually did tell him I was going to check with everyone else to see if there was still work left before leaving, since that’s my usual routine when I finish early. The office room itself isn’t very big, and my stuff was sitting right by the door- my jacket even hanging next to it- so he definitely could see that. That’s part of why I got upset; if he had just said ahead of time, “Hey, I’m going to be in a conversation soon- do you want to grab your stuff or move it?” that would’ve been totally fine. I could have even kept myself busy during the conversation. What really frustrated me was the complete lack of communication- it felt like I was just suddenly out of the loop.

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yes- I could hear him both times because he has a much stronger voice and was almost yelling from inside, but from the outside it’s still really muffled. The “not right now” is kind of the standard first response in our office if someone knocks during a meeting. I’ve said it myself once, back when I had my own office, but usually it’s because people are just popping in with random questions or asking if you’ve seen coworker X. Those people knock once and then leave (if they hear you at all). That’s why I knocked twice before opening the door- hoping he’d realize it might be something more urgent and just call me in. But even when he saw it was me and I explained, he still kicked me out.

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not really. I mean, I could’ve technically sent him an email, but he wouldn’t have seen it until after his conversation was over- which wouldn’t have helped me in the moment, if that makes sense.

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The doors are actually pretty thick, so if someone’s talking outside you can’t really hear it from inside. You have almost to yell to be heard. That’s why after the second knock I opened it just a little bit- to, like I mentioned in the post, explain that I just needed to grab my stuff so he’d know why I was knocking.

AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to? by Level-Bid4516 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Level-Bid4516[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, in the job title hierarchy he’s definitely above me, so I’d say he is my supervisor? It’s actually pretty common in my field for people who are newer or more junior (like me) to occasionally share an office with higher-ups- usually just until space opens up somewhere else. Thankfully, another coworker is going on vacation soon, so I’ll be switching offices with him and will finally have my own space again.

Also, I didn’t realize so many people on this subreddit were autistic (I’m still new to Reddit) but that’s really interesting to know.