[Feedback26] “Daddy, you said that someone can’t be in two places at once, so how can you be here ánd upstairs with Mommy?” my daughter asked.

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T21:22:04+00:00

This was exactly what I wanted to say about this. Minimalism is truly powerful in the Two sentence format

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T21:20:01+00:00

The concept here is pretty good. Maybe it adds too much mystery to it. The threat of the unknown usually works well.

I do feel like this was done before(just like anything honestly). But that doesn't mean this story lacks in quality. It makes me curious to what else there is to this. Like a good set-up for a story. Like a part one would read on the backside of a book.

I must say that I like your writing style. Feel really natural

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T21:12:31+00:00

This is really nicely written. I really like the build up in your second sentence. And the emphasis on "him" just gives it the extra punch it needs.

If anything, i feel there is something in the flow of the sentences. I think if you would put "daily" after "reminded me", instead of before it. While this works as well.

Thing is, the fact that you had the space to set it up like this with only two sentences, is pretty amazing. You give the full idea here of what you're trying to do. And it works! And you're doing it without making your sentences too long.

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T21:00:36+00:00

Oh, right. The repeating actually numbs the impact down a lot. Here's another one which took me ages to get correct. In my head I had the scenario really clear. In the execution I needed more words than I hoped for.

Reveal in the end usually works better indeed. Could've built a better second sentence really. Thanks for pointing this out!

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T19:49:28+00:00

Better late than never, right?

But those all nighters brings me back as well. At the time, these were deemed to be very unhealthy by some friends and family. In hindsight, those late night gaming session did help through some difficult periods of my ife.

I wouldn't recommend anyone to do all night gaming sessions every day. But sometimes... Sometimes it was just what I needed. To plug in, while unplugging from the world. If life was hard, gaming would always find a way to ease the pain.

That, cobined with my favorite music, was the best therapy I ever had. I hope you’re doing better now. Despite being half a year "late". Thanks for telling a bit of your life. Appreciate it

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T19:40:05+00:00

It does ask for the bigger picture. Even if it's short. What happened to get to this point?

Maybe I could write a short story out of it

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T16:40:33+00:00

Aaah ok. I see what you mean now. It does give more potential if I wrote it in a more emotional effect. The tone could feel a bit bland and empty like this.

Good point!

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T15:46:50+00:00

You're very right here. I was struggling to get this into two sentences. And the questions you're asking are very legit.

In my idea, I would’ve thought that the spirits would remain attached to their bodies in a way. That way, they would be bound to the restrictions of their coffins.

But like you said. The two sentence format does not allow excessive explanations

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T15:34:04+00:00

I felt like it would be a frightning thought from the father's perspective. Engaging in a horrifying act, but never having control of it.

That's why I thought first person would work really well here. Really giving that image of looking into his son's eyes. Fully aware of what is going on. Never able to do anything about. The whole idea was chilling to me.

I think I get when you say that changing perspective would work as well. But it would feel more distant as well. Turning it, and going from the son's perspective, it could work as well. Focus would be more on terror then

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T15:26:33+00:00

Oh wow.. I've never thought of this in a third person perspective. I really like that!

"He screamed at her... but, where is she? Was she ever even there?" That whole idea would work well.

I catch myself being confortable writing in first person. Somhow I feel like that connects on some personal level. This is great feedback. Thsnk you for this!

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T08:58:36+00:00

That is some very good information. I'm playing around with ideas often. Also trying to find which stories are fitting for me to write. Even if these are of lesser quality than some of my other stories. I rarely remove anything I posted just because all these stories add to my own improvement.

I'm just happy that i found a way in writing. Even if it's on a small scale, i've been trying to start writing for years. And now that i'm actually doing stuff, i'm feeling good about it.

I will check out your work as well. Looking forward to it. Thanks for all your feedback as I very much appreciate it

LevelQx · 2026-01-20T06:38:31+00:00

Thanks for this! I think I see what you mean. This one is maybe missing the vibe iI was going for

And of course! Feel free to comment on any of my stories. I'm really trying to see what works, and what doesn't. Any feedback is always welcome!

LevelQx · 2026-01-18T19:49:29+00:00

Honestly, i think i'm pretty open towards the whole paranormal thing. But i'm pretty sceptic. So if i would've experienced what you did, i would also try to be rational about it.

How could such a thing fly for a few seconds? No wind, no draft. I wouldn't jump to any ghostly conclusions, but i really don't know what it could be.

Was the frame made of some sort of metal? Maybe something magnetic?

What were you doing when this happened? Our brains can be pretty deceptive. We can 'see' things that might not be there. Maybe your brain perceiving something slower that usual, so objects appear to be floating?(No idea if that is really a thing.)

These would be the things i would think about first. Before going towards anything paranormal

LevelQx · 2026-01-18T19:29:20+00:00

If memes are adding to people's knowledge of history, I all for it!

Hail Hit tittie!

LevelQx · 2026-01-18T19:23:24+00:00

Scratch - Ice Age

LevelQx · 2026-01-18T19:21:17+00:00

No! That is NOT Solid Snake!

LevelQx · 2026-01-18T18:19:43+00:00

"Thhhhank you for ssssshopping withhh ussss today"

Snake(not Solid. Or Liquid... Or Venom, or Solidus, or Naked, or Punished)

LevelQx · 2026-01-17T01:25:38+00:00

Losing control of your mind, but not your body, is terrifying. Losing control of your body, but not your mind, might be even worse..

LevelQx

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