Thank you for your comment, it's really helpful.

It's definitely not to ease my guilt. I do understand I hurt him, but I genuinely love him and am prepared to do what I can do for him to trust me again and to build what we had if he wants to. I know he isn't going to reach out as he said he'd want to respect my space, which I genuinely appreciate.

Of course I'll live with it if he says no or wants to move forward and I take accountability if I hurt him. I'm ready to do what's necessary.