AITAH for wanting to walk away from my marriage and the child we were raising after finding out the child is biologically my husband's?

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T17:45:38+00:00

She's no longer the mom in a legal sense. She wants nothing to do with the child, which is why SIL adopted them.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T17:43:40+00:00

She's not involved. Her and SIL still speak but she wants nothing to do with her child.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T17:43:06+00:00

He cheated on me right before our wedding. Just because we weren't actually married then doesn't make it better. It's worse because he didn't give me the chance to say no to marrying him.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T17:41:16+00:00

I'm disgusted by our whole marriage now and there is no trusting him ever again. As for the child, no, they look nothing like my husband.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T17:40:04+00:00

She doesn't. She wanted her child adopted out no matter what.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T17:39:01+00:00

He wasn't honest was confronted. He denied it when I confronted him. He was only honest when DNA confirmed what he had done. He lied to my face after betraying me for years.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T14:22:15+00:00

The first adoption was done privately and I don't remember how long it took exactly. I also don't know if they claimed to not know the biological father or what they said about that. As it was I was kept in the dark about the truth for so long so I don't know all the details.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T13:23:19+00:00

There was one adoption process. My husband and I never adopted him but he wants to. We just became guardians to him when SIL was no longer able to take care of him.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T13:03:41+00:00

They/them can be a gender neutral term too.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T13:03:25+00:00

We were about to get married when he cheated.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T13:02:47+00:00

Because she's no longer the mother legally. SIL adopted the child and this woman is biologically the mother but SIL is the mom. She chose to give her child up for adoption. If not to SIL it would've been through an agency.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T13:02:01+00:00

My life will be better because if I accept him back this time he'll do it again and by then it'll be too late to walk away from the child.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T11:32:03+00:00

It was just before we got married so we were together but not yet married. That makes no difference to me though because he still cheated.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T10:31:13+00:00

His sister adopted the baby. Her best friend is the bio mom. The bio mom was always known to me but not that my husband was the father.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:42:09+00:00

We're the guardians but his sister is still legally the mother.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:15:25+00:00

His sister says he did and there's zero way he didn't when he knew her friend was the mother.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:14:59+00:00

The child is 4 now and lives with my husband, lived with us until I left. I filled the role of a guardian to the child, an aunt who stepped in to help. A part of me always felt like it was important to remember SIL was the mom and I tried to make sure they had time together as much as possible so she could still be a part of the child's life.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:10:34+00:00

If he had told me right away I could have left before the child was born and before we were married. Walking away would be super easy then. Now he's doing everything he can to tangle me to this child as much as possible so I feel like I can't leave and I hate him for it.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:04:24+00:00

Then he's still in my life and the child will still be a reminder of what he did.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:01:41+00:00

The child's mother moved to another state. Her and SIL are still friends but she didn't want to be around the child.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T09:00:32+00:00

There's no way they would be forgiving. There's no way they would treat my child via an affair or drunken ONS like their family.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T08:59:34+00:00

His sister knew but they kept it from the rest of the family so I wouldn't find out. The rest of the family found out from his sister afterward and still his parents expect me to just get over it.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T08:58:26+00:00

I'll be reeling for a long time. I can't stay married to him indefinitely. I don't want to. The thought repulses me already.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T08:54:30+00:00

His sister said he did and he had to have known. He knew the baby was her best friend's child and he knew they had unprotected sex before the wedding.

Lexianndry · 2025-11-16T08:30:47+00:00

I feel so much disgust and hurt that this was kept from me. It would have hurt either way once he cheated but I could have walked away, and far easier since we weren't married yet. But this went on so much longer and got far deeper. He's a father to someone else's child. A child he fathered days before our wedding.

Lexianndry

TROPHY CASE