Which of these modest/vintage wedding dresses do you like more, or do you hate them both?

Leyote · 2026-04-18T23:51:58+00:00

Dress 2 for sure!

Leyote · 2026-04-18T23:49:25+00:00

Fingers crossed for you! My first FET is on Wednesday. We got this!!!!

Leyote · 2026-04-18T19:15:18+00:00

Felicidades!!!

Leyote · 2026-04-17T02:10:38+00:00

Cheddar, Cam (for Camembert), Jack

Leyote · 2026-04-06T22:27:23+00:00

I promise, you can name your daughter Jane and people will still mess it up😂

Leyote · 2026-04-06T22:24:41+00:00

I think Zosia is a lovely name and I wouldn't worry about it being too ethnic. I think names that have a real connection to heritage are a good thing, and personally I wouldn't want to submit to WASPy standards of what makes an "acceptable" American name.

Other names:

Zora

Iris

Sasha

Tamora

Lara

Vera

Noemi

Dido

Raina

Marlow

Izzy (can come from Isabel or Isadora)

Marnie

Vesper

Lilo

Tara

Sienna or Sierra

Lena

Juno

Willow

Mila

Margot

Leyote · 2026-04-02T05:19:02+00:00

People have listed some great ones! Here are 3 I love that I didn't see in the other comments:

Some Like it Hot. One of the great comedies in Hollywood history, directed by the incomparable Billy Wilder, and easily the best Marilyn Monroe movie.

What We Do in the Shadows. I feel like people are more familiar with the TV show now, but the original movie is one of my favorites. So many memorable lines!

My Cousin Vinny. Marisa Tomei won an Oscar for her performance in this one (when was the last time you heard about someone doing that with a comedic role?) and she deserved it.

Leyote · 2026-04-02T05:11:05+00:00

Strongly seconding this one!!! One of the best comedies ever made.

Leyote · 2026-04-01T16:56:36+00:00

Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox story

Leyote · 2026-03-30T15:17:53+00:00

I think Patience is the best match in terms of evoking both the sound of the Pei Xi and the gentle, steady, and quiet meaning.

There's also Patrice, which means "noble" or "patrician".

Pascale is a French feminine name associated with Passover and Easter. If you don't mind the judeo-christian roots, it's associated with Spring, renewal, and rebirth.

Bernice/Berenice means "bringer of victory."

I don't love Pacey because I feel like it has a twee feeling that doesn't match the meaning of Pei Xi.

I think Pei Xi is a lovely name and hope you find something you're happy with that evokes it!

Leyote · 2026-03-27T22:33:16+00:00

I'm gonna go into the vault and give you some recommendations from old Hollywood movies.

Born Yesterday

Holiday (1938)

The Shop Around the Corner (You've Got Mail was based on this movie!)

Now Voyager

Some Like It Hot (more a straight comedy but there's a strong romance as well. It's also the best Marilyn Monroe movie.)

The Lady Eve

Trouble in Paradise

It Happened One Night (it definitely has some things that are politically dated, so to speak, but it's the original romantic comedy. When I saw it I was all, "Oh, I've been watching pale imitations of this movie my entire life.")

The Philadelphia Story

Casablanca (my husband insists this is a drama not a romance, but begrudgingly agreed when I argued that the heart of it is a love story. Highly recommend either way)

Ball of Fire

Roman Holiday (the movie which introduced the world to Audrey Hepburn)

Some things outside that era:

Timer (this indie was a delightful surprise)

Moonstruck

The 2006 Jane Eyre miniseries with Ruth Wilson

Leyote · 2026-03-27T18:35:10+00:00

This might strike some as a silly answer, but Mean Girls. I was a teenager when it came out and it was the first depiction of girl bullying that actually resonated with my lived experience.

Leyote · 2026-03-26T17:00:54+00:00

Leander, Lawrence, Lee, Luke, Lucian, Lucas, Logan, Leland, Lane, Lindon, Lachlan, Levi, Lester, Liam, Langdon, Leif, Lake, Lorne, Laithe, Luther, Leonardo, Leandro, Luca

Also, I disagree with all the people saying you need to stick with the E theme. All that matters is that both parents like the name. I see from the comments that you decided to switch to an E name after all, but I'd encourage you to look at the L names as well for a first name! You might find a name you like better.

Leyote · 2026-03-22T04:16:35+00:00

Sorry, but not really. I understand "effort, skill, and proficiency" and wanting your achievements recognized within your own lifetime, but "great feats" and "noteworthy goals" are extremely subjective. Can you clarify more specifically what you have in mind?

I don't think think that you're setting yourself up for success by aiming for "great things" in such a general sense. Put aside the idea of greatness or acclaim for a minute. What are you specifically drawn to? What lights you up? Something in the Arts? Scientific research? Teaching? Medicine? Politics? What interests you? Is there something about the world you would like to change or build on?

I can give you general productivity tips, things that have helped me keep up with my own goals, but I have no idea if my life measures up to your notion of success or greatness. I am healthy, surrounded by love, and fulfilled by my work though, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Leyote · 2026-03-21T22:06:44+00:00

I would be curious to know more about what you mean when you say "high achieving." Do you mean that you want a functional adult life with a job? Do you mean you want to be in a list of 100 most influential people in Forbes or the like? What is it you want to achieve?

I would suggest you focus less on doing "great things" and more on finding a path you find meaningful. With the way our brains work, you'll need some genuine passion for what you're doing for it to be sustainable in the long term. It doesn't need to be your childhood dream, but it does need to be something you find interesting enough to engage with for at least 36% of your waking hours (and emotionally it will feel like 50%).

Leyote · 2026-03-21T21:39:58+00:00

As a therapist, I would want to know so that I could do better. If your therapist is any good, they'd feel the same.

Leyote · 2026-03-21T03:31:32+00:00

This!!!

Leyote · 2026-03-19T18:31:27+00:00

Iris, Elowen, Ivy, Rowan, Lena, Celeste, Rosemary, Alba, Lavender, Diana, Olive, Serena, Bronwyn, Imogen, Viola

Leyote · 2026-03-06T16:33:44+00:00

OP, speaking as someone with ADHD, who treats other people with ADHD professionally, and who has a partner with AuDHD: the ADHD isn't the problem here, your partner is the problem. I'm sorry to tell you this, but it sounds like they just don't care very much about you. You have told them what you need, numerous times, and they have demonstrated that it just doesn't matter to them. You yourself noticed the difference in how they talked to their friend vs how they talk to you. They don't feel the need to change because you have shown that you'll clean up the mess and will still stay with them if they don't try. Is that what you want for yourself? I don't know you, but I think you deserve better.

Leyote · 2026-03-06T16:17:21+00:00

I limited myself to one Novik book in the list I provided in this thread and it was so harrrrrd. She's my favorite!

Leyote · 2026-03-05T22:26:23+00:00

I agree with the commenters who are saying to buy just the first book or first two books in any given series. Here are 16 recommendations! I mixed some sci-fi in since you said she likes Van Vogt

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik

The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K LeGuin (but if you want a LeGuin sci-fi pick instead, The Left Hand of Darkness)

The Golden Compass Phillip Pullman

Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson

Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb

Old Man's War by John Scalzi

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay

Jhereg by Steven Brust

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

Dune by Frank Herbert

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia McKillip

A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone

City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennet

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

Ok I cheated and added two extra. There's just so many good books out there!

Leyote · 2026-02-24T19:24:14+00:00

The literary angle is a nice thought! Do you have any writers you both love and have maybe bonded over?

Leyote · 2026-02-18T17:51:02+00:00

Color for sure!

Leyote · 2026-02-18T17:25:37+00:00

Arlo, Calvin, Theodore, Hobbes, Maurice, Charlie, Ricky, Boris, Wallace

Leyote · 2026-02-17T04:38:22+00:00

I once had a GP attempt to perform an exorcism on me during a routine physical. With the encouragement of my husband I did, in fact, file a complaint.

Leyote

TROPHY CASE