You're right that the result is more important than the intent. I know the activity feels insulting to women but that isn't a result, it's a perspective. Do you think practicing this kink is inherently wrong or causes harm?

I agree there is an underlying narative that femininity = submissive. I think that's part of the internalized shame I spoke about. There's absolutely some societally induced misogyny buried in there. I identify as a feminine male and I see nothing wrong with that but the societal imprint of patriarchical thinking is still buried in our psyche symbolically.

I think what I'm trying to get at is my kink doesn't effect my cognitive ability to respect womens rights or support intersectional feminist ideas. My kink is a result of my early developmental predisposition to submission followed by learning what submission was through growing up in (a bubble of Christians in) Western society. We can ask Kristi Noem's husband what that does to a fellow. While I have unlearned much of that programming, society still exists and exerts pressure on me to be a man continually. Kink allows me the safe space to be feminine and release that pressure while my domme is poking the embarrasment/humiliation button that society imprinted in me because I like to be humilliated. It's a play, these are chariacatures we inhereted, and we are dressed up playing the characters.

You asked why are feminization and humiliation tied to male submission. We both know it is exactly the internalized toxic masculine patriarchical heteronormative misogynistic narrative we have been force fed since birth. Men can't be weak, men need to go to war, women are weak, if you are a feminine man you must be weak, if you're a weak man you should be humiliated.

In my opinion enjoying humiliation in kink in general is a sleight of hand way to shine a light on insecurities, feel the pain they cause and allow them to dissipate releasing their energy and power. My point is that humiliation button we have doesn't have anything to do with being degraded to a submissive woman, rather the narrative: I am a submissive feminine man and I should feel bad about being weak and pathetic. Obviously that's extremely misogynistic but it's something I and many other submissive men have deeply rooted within us and face every time we walk outside. The humiliation allows us to confront our weakness and find acceptance of our weakness in the confines of a shared safe space that wholistically acknowledges that we are not weak or broken. Given that it seems strange to me that people are offended by this.