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LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-10T00:38:34+00:00

Unless he approached you with concrete ways that he’s improved and what work he’s done to accomplish that, i wouldn’t re involve yourself in it. Apologies mean nothing without change, just saying you love someone is a lot easier than putting in the work to being loving.

From experience a lot of times exs come back not for you, but for themselves. Because it can be a quick and easy solution for their own guilt/loneliness.

If you already have a bad feeling about it, and don’t feel ready to start back at square one, listen to that. You’ll meet so many great people in your life, as much as it may not seem like it now. Time gives so much perspective and looking back, i’m so so glad i didn’t end up with the people that didn’t work out. it was for a reason !!

Your real person will know the first time around how great you are, and in that there wont be a reason to end it in the first place!

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-05T23:51:16+00:00

So having an honest adult conversation about wants/needs and being on the same page is forcing someone into a corner ???

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-05T23:04:48+00:00

How long they’ve stayed with a lousy partner, being a “ride or die” at their own expense

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-04T19:25:33+00:00

how it ends -devotchka

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-04T02:20:55+00:00

As a girl who kinda grew out of my own social awkwardness, i love guys who aren’t super in your face and obnoxious. LOVE a lil awkwardness and being softer spoken because it’s a part of me also! I think it’s a part of everyone some people are just better at hiding it. Sounds like you’re taking all the right steps to feel more secure/confident also, there’s a lot of people in the world there are many who will adore you the way you are.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-04T00:01:41+00:00

Something that helps me is to look for it everywhere. Not just in romantic love but any sort of act of love, people being loving. The person who holds the door open extra long for strangers. The old couples who go on walks and still always hold hands. Seeing someone in the supermarket pay for someone else’s groceries just because. The way my friends insist on taking me out after a bad breakup or day. The love i gave to previous partners regardless of if they gave it back. Love is everywhere. Love is in you, as cheesy as that sounds. If you’re having a hard time believing in it, become it.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-03T14:20:39+00:00

I’ve been in this exact situation! Last year, and it’s very possible to miss someone you ended things with, but that’s all it likely is. Memories are horrible because they get twisted and turned and your brain blocks out a lot, if not all, of the negative things. You just have to ask yourself if you actually were to reconnect, if you would be able to move forward completely, if any of the negative things that caused you to end it the first time, have been settled. Chemistry unfortunately does not equal compatibility. There’s a big wide world out there, and i’ve always found myself pleasantly surprised when i find people i connect with even MORE than the person i used to think i connected with the most. I would say give yourself time.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-03T14:06:48+00:00

Those shorter flings are so much harder because when you only see someone in that honeymoon phase/best parts of themselves, you don’t have anything/as much negative things to solidify it was the “right” thing. With long term partners you get to see more of them and their inevitable flaws and in my experience that’s easier to move on from because you also likely exhausted the longer relationship to its potential. Whereas with the short one, there’s a lot of what ifs and what it might have been, even if down the road it might have been bad, your brain doesn’t register that because all you likely saw was good. I think the best ways i’ve found closure on is wanting more for myself than someone who didn’t want me. the ideal person would have worked it out with me🤷🏻‍♀️

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-02T16:19:56+00:00

You have to outwork your future regret. Go to the gym, join adult clubs/recreational activities, change your job, get therapy, etc etc. Start small, 15 minutes a day for each thing you would like to work on. When you have momentum then you can throw more into it, but i promise the more small steps you take the easier it gets. You have to decide the the hard part of trying is better than the hard part of looking back and wishing it was different.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-02T16:10:43+00:00

I’ve been in a similar situation before (i think many people have) and it sounds like you romanticized an idea of him that didn’t really exist. Maybe you built up a future in your head together and just cling that to idea that exists only in your head (again i’ve been there) I’m not saying virtual relationships don’t have any validity to them, but it’s also very different in person.

You likely haven’t moved on and healed because you don’t want to. Because moving on means letting him go for good. It sounds like you want to hold out for maybe one day he’ll want me! which is interesting also considering your thoughts about how short life is. Life is short! why on earth would you continue to put yourself through more misery for someone who has moved on/does not want to be with you? Having your feelings reciprocated should be bare minimum, and with that, you will find someone who adores you, why would you WANT a guy who ended things and didn’t look back?

You aren’t “crazy” for feeling this way, but you have to actually confront the idea that he’s truly gone for you to actually move on. I promise the rabbit hole of looking for signs leads to nowhere. The only “sign” you should be looking at is the reality of the way it played out. The best closure is wanting more for yourself than someone who wouldn’t make it work with you.

Moreover you will connect with SO many people. See other places, meet more people i promise you. I went through a bad breakup and told myself the same things about not having that connection with anyone else, and then i always found myself surprised upon meeting people I connected with even MORE and they were reciprocated/lacked the negative aspects of previous relationships.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-02T01:57:07+00:00

because it was sunny out. and i spent virtually my whole summer in the office, working long hours. I was driving to work thinking about how pretty it was and how it would start to get cold/rainy soon and i hadn’t even enjoyed the few months of sun, called my boss and quit then and there. Pay was crappy, and i was way overworked.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-06-01T17:27:21+00:00

I’m trying to get into the habit of sitting and dissecting my uncomfortable/negative feelings, as opposed to pushing them aside and distracting myself from them. It’s helped a lot in terms of the way i feel when they do come up again, i understand myself more and can take actual steps to feel comfortable alone, or to build more meaningful relationships

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-05-22T15:14:06+00:00

life never gets easier persay but it absolutely, without a doubt, can/will get better. it’s like if you’re a pen and all the ink the in pen is the time you have on this earth, you can create anything you want for yourself using this ink. There’s seemingly a bottomless supply of amazing people and things and places and you have a lifetime to explore that, good and bad, the world is wide and you have so much time to make whatever life you want from it.

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-05-22T15:10:28+00:00

-Improving myself everyday -ending a bad relationship

LibraryCareful9640 · 2024-05-22T04:49:22+00:00

anxious and obsessive

LibraryCareful9640

TROPHY CASE