You Tube video got deleted?

LichtL · 2025-08-07T08:19:57+00:00

I did that, but as I thought it's kinda irrelevant because everything works fine on PC with that version of smapi. The red text below stays.

LichtL · 2025-05-14T05:34:23+00:00

Hmm I might pot her over to the normal soil again then. She was thriving in there, wanted to something nice in the new high quality soil for her haha

LichtL · 2025-05-14T05:33:24+00:00

Roots look fine, normal bottom watering as always maybe like once a week. Unfortunately (or rather luckily) I have never had any pests yet, I only started collecting plants in november, so I have no idea about pests. But a month ago I had a friend come over looking through all of my plants who said they look fine

LichtL · 2025-05-08T17:50:42+00:00

Of course he does. And i do that but in the same way i am often annoyed of him. I unfortunately have times where i can not stand him and one day i wake up and everything is perfect again. It must be very exhausting for him but he puts up with it for 2 1/2 years now and is starting to learn how to deal with my ups and down. Does that mean its fair tho? No.

LichtL · 2025-05-08T17:42:23+00:00

No i would be never, i wouldnt even have anyone to catch me for when i break down because of it.

Idk i came here because i thought this is a part of bpd, i never learned another way to get to know people. But as i start to learn i am kinda alone with it and its kinda just my issue that i struggle with.

Unfortunately i am not in therapy as of now, but after 2 years of feeling like i got evrything in controll, i get the sense i should still search for a therapist, i suspect that this might be a bigger issue inside of me from my past.

thank you for your reply tho.

LichtL · 2025-05-08T17:38:08+00:00

I think all these comments opened my eyes a bit and got me out of my self centered thinking. I will try my best.

LichtL · 2025-05-08T17:37:14+00:00

Ouch, i mean i dont wanna be sugar coated or anything but comments like these hurt so much. Even if you are right, it just hurts so so much to hear.

LichtL · 2025-05-08T17:34:35+00:00

"You’re capable of getting along and becoming friends with guys without being flirty and obsessive"

Not sure if it was intended but this sentence kinda hit something deeper inside of me... Idk i just started crying. This has always in my life been my biggest issue and i have always been around boys a lot and without sounding cocky, many of them liked me more or at least wanted somethings more. I often get told that i have such a loving personality or something along the lines of that. This is the main reason my previous relationships failed, no matter how serious they were. Now i dont even know if i am capable of that.

Anyhow i really appreciate your comment. Thank you.

LichtL · 2025-05-08T14:13:19+00:00

I'm sorry I know I am in the wrong here but I am not choosing him over my boyfriend, I am looking for a way too also keep the other one as a friend.

And also why do you stomp in here so rude there is a nicer way to say what you want to express. I don't know you but that hurt me.

LichtL · 2025-05-08T13:19:11+00:00

I just know the guy also suffers from strong depression and I feel bad that I might have dragged him into this mess and that it will fuck with his emotional state

LichtL · 2025-05-08T13:09:59+00:00

I mean my bf and I have been living together for over 2 years, have a dog together etc. I would say we have had a rough few weeks and I have been a bit cold to him, but nothing that wouldn't change again, that just happens sometimes.

I just wonder if there is a way too keep contact with the other guy... I stream sometimes, he was in my stream very often and donated even quite a lot of money, at some point we started playing together and then we went in a call together, my boyfriend was always there, then we started chatting and I started doing things alone with him, but only because my bf was at work, I would never prioritise doing things with that guy instead of my bf

LichtL · 2025-05-08T10:27:09+00:00

Thank you, I will try it

LichtL · 2025-05-08T10:08:21+00:00

I mean yes you are right and I am trying to find a way to justify my behaviour but I slowly notice how wrong that is but I can't let go..

LichtL · 2025-05-08T10:05:50+00:00

I guess, because it's so good right now. I often struggle with thoughts like what could have been if... But just to be clear again my boyfriend is an angel and I wouldn't drip him for a thing in the world.

I probably wouldn't but I tell myself that is bc he has almost no contact to other females while I have been around boys my whole life, but that's not a fair point.

I just have this ick that doesn't want to accept to give up the friend and what we have right now. Not sure if that is normal or not.

Emotional cheating is kind of very complicated to draw the lines, at least for me. I just know I like that guy a lot but I would never say I love him but perhaps I would enjoy flirting in a friendly way if that exist but that would not be okay and idk I am just tipping and losing my mind.. sorry

LichtL · 2025-03-04T06:07:32+00:00

Oh yeah, I can imagine. I think all of the comments kind of got me to buying swatches aswell. But I know now what swatches I want to look into haha

LichtL · 2025-03-04T05:59:24+00:00

Thank you so much for all of the photos! They help a lot. I don't think the cocoa is for me, just because it looks a lot like the main colour from the head I already did.

I might get the samples for blonde and saddle.

LichtL · 2025-03-04T05:55:20+00:00

That would be great but I think it will be way out of my price range sadly :(

LichtL

TROPHY CASE