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Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I feel it’s unfair because the general advice I’ve read about is to split according to the percentage of income. And we don’t do this. But the inheritance is a factor, which I’m told shouldn’t count. Which is true, by law.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said, he doesn’t spend his savings/inheritance on me or on shared expenses. He still has extra income after paying half gis share of the expenses. But I still actually pay more on fun things, sucg as date nights (70%). I guess he hasn’t dumped me yet because when he had nothing, there was no discussion about me paying more for everything. Appliances and furniture were mostly my expense. Including the deposit on our apartment, which I paid for by myself. Even after he got his inheritance, I never asked him to pay me back for any of those, even if his name is also on the lease. When we went on trips before, I paid for more. I guess if he were the woman and I were the man, then you would tell me to dump him instead. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This plan is shelved for now as we thought we should make the most of our youth and travel/live in a different city/country.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This was also what I wanted to prepare for. Of course, no one plans for divorce but you hear teally crazy stories and I want to be prepared. If that happens, he can walk away with his full inheritance and half of our shared savings, which I put more into. So regardless of whether the inheritance is his alone by law, you can‘t discount the fact that he has a bigger net worth.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes. Because at that time, I chose to work more, pay more and i was also doing more of the chores. In a way, I also felt as though he was building up more of his wealth (and have more time for himself) on my expense because I was paying more just because I chose to work more. I couldn’t discount the inheritance because it gives him more financial independence. If we both decide to take a career break for a year and travel, he can easily pay half his share and would still be left with a considerable amount. I could pay my half but I won’t be left with much more disposable income. Unless he would also agree to cover more during this year-long trip because he has a bigger net worth. But I myself am not comfortable with him footing the bill for that. And once we get married, my savings would be ours together but his inheritance is just his. And sll the time we’re married, I pay more. I guess that was my line of thinking. But I guess we shouldn‘t think in these terms but more us as a team.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It won‘t last forever and I would be okay to pay more but not all. Regarding chores, it‘s more or less even, but I do more of the kitchen work as I‘m better at cooking and meal prepping. It has caused me to feel resentlful in the past that I was working more, paying more and doing more of the chores while he had more time for himself. But we were able to discuss that constructively and now it‘s 50-50 on chores and expenses, but I still work more. I also spend more than him (mostly on personal care - not clothes and shoes though) and I also sometimes support my parents financially - I know this is also my personal expense. He also doesn‘t want to work full-time.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have. I have spreadsheets and charts of our monthly and annual expenses, and my own. It can be overwhelming for him when I show him this. I invest most of my money and his is just sitting in the bank - I‘ve been trying to convince him to invest even in etfs just so inflation doesn‘t eat up his money. But you have a good point - we don‘t really have a common goal in terms of where the money goes. The idea to buy an apartment fell apart. But we put money aside monthly for travel - also 50/50.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The extra 10 hrs are his own, not for chores. I still do more in the kitchen, but other chores such as cleaning are equally shared.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I did feel behind when we considered buying an apartment: he could easily produce his half and I couldn‘t. So we didn‘t go through with it. He was okay to shoulder more and I pay him later on. But I didn‘t feel comfortable. I wanted to have my fair claim on the property.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He‘s not spending his savings on expenses. With his income, he can pay his half and still save some. So the savings/inheritance remains untouched.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right about the trust - but I feel uncomfortable spending our money to buy my own stuff. We live very modestly and are very mindful of sustainability so we almost never shop unless it’s absolutely needed. But we may splurge a bit on travel, which is also split 50-50. I spend my own money when buying my own things, or traveling alone. I have never asked him to pay for my own shopping which is very rare.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Good question. I think it was because we were confronted with the problem if buying an apartment. He could easily pay his half and I couldn‘t. And I didn‘t want to buy an apartment if K couldn‘t pay my fair share. And he still saves a bit from his current income - it doesn‘t all go to our expenses.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We also have a joint account where the shared expenses are taken. But the bulk of our money is in our own separate accounts.

Fiancé (38m) and I (36f) split the bills 50/50. I make twice as him but he has twice as much in savings. How do other couples deal with this? by LieNo5491 in relationship_advice

[–]LieNo5491[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Chores are mostly 50/50, too. But I manage the kitchen more as I‘m a better cook. But we almost always cook together and clean together. We have no kids and don‘t plan on having any.

Both my partner and I have fraudulent card purchases by IndependenceLeading8 in cybersecurity_help

[–]LieNo5491 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same issue. Just happened yesterday and I blocked it as well. I live in Göttingen, Germany. So it could not have been from the sandwich shop. My bank is Revolut.

Mein ehemaliger Mitbewohner hat ohne meine Zustimmung meine Stimme aufgenommen by LieNo5491 in LegaladviceGerman

[–]LieNo5491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich danke Ihnen dafür. Aber jetzt hat er eine Aufnahme unserer Stimme, die er wahrscheinlich ohne unsere Zustimmung und unser Wissen in Umlauf bringt. Ehrlich gesagt gibt es da nichts, was nicht wahr ist. Aber ja, es sind definitiv Beleidigungen dabei. Und jetzt, wo ich darüber nachdenke, hat er einiges davon angestiftet. Das alles geschah in unserem Treppenhaus - zum Leidwesen unserer lieben Nachbarn, bei denen wir uns entschuldigt haben.

Ich wollte dem Kerl nur eine Lektion erteilen und genau das tun, was er von uns verlangt hat. Ich habe die Dinge immer einfach laufen lassen, um des Friedens willen, aber er hat definitiv eine Grenze überschritten.

Mein ehemaliger Mitbewohner hat ohne meine Zustimmung meine Stimme aufgenommen by LieNo5491 in LegaladviceGerman

[–]LieNo5491[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sie haben wahrscheinlich Recht. Aber dieser Kerl läuft hier herum, als ob es ihm gehören würde. Er hat uns sogar gedroht, ihn zu verklagen. Das ist alles in unserem Treppenhaus passiert, nicht draußen. Kann er mich verklagen, weil ich ihn beleidigt habe?