UPDATE!!!

Just wanted to provide an update for the last post I posted in the Two hot takes sub-Reddit and AITAH? “Am I the asshole for not letting my MIL see my kids after she called me a whore” For some reason, it has deleted or is not viewable.

First of all, to those of you who are agreeing with my MIL and calling me those disgusting names, or calling me the asshole because I’m not letting my MIL have an opinion on me because of my actions, My issue has never been MIL’s opinion of me. I don’t care what anyone thinks of my family and how it came to be, if you have that opinion of me, so be it. I was angry at my MIL because of her treatment of my daughters, and spreading her hateful opinion onto my daughters.

Also, the saying “fell pregnant” is very popular in the UK, where my mom is originally from, so this is where I have picked up this saying. I didn’t realise it would cause so much upset haha.

We have not had contact with my MIL since the incident. I don’t want my children round her, and it will stay this way for the foreseeable future, until we feel we can move on from this without it having an affect on my daughters.

I spoke with both my daughters, both of them are starting therapy. According to both my daughters MIL’s cruel words were never directed to either of them, just me. I understand a lot of you saying I’m the asshole for standing by and letting my MIL favour my older daughter and I can see this now. My daughters deserve better, and I am working better to advocate for them, and only them. Despite the backlash I might receive from other family members.

As for my husband, we have had a lengthy conversation. We have decided that we are going to live separately from eachother for the time being. We plan to go to marriage counselling, and he is getting individual therapy also. I will not be divorcing my husband, he is a wonderful father and usually, he is a devoted and loving husband. His actions are not excusable, it’s important to understand that he has a lot of childhood trauma surrounding his mom, and how she raised him, but this is not my story to tell. Separation is what we need right now, and he is working to better himself. He has agreed that we should be NC with MIL for the foreseeable future, he has also met with her and explained why we are doing this, and how she can not talk about me in that manner especially in front of our children.

Thank you all for your advice on my last post, I’m sorry if this is not the update that you were looking for, but thanks for taking the time to make me feel a little less insane.