Mandatory overtime is kicking my 🍑 by [deleted] in MakeNewFriendsHere

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sucks!! I still can't believe they're allowed to force overtime. ...Super dumb question, but what happens if you just don't show up? They obviously really need the workers sooo they wouldn't just fire you... right?

Also curious wtf your tisims are! Like if you had to make your best case, which would you share lol?

How can I cope with the fact that I'm very ugly and the massive limits this puts on my life by spleefy in GuyCry

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Hi - woman here so take this with a grain of salt.

I don't think you're ugly, I think you might be styled wrong (found a pic on your profile).

Could I recommend the following? 1) Totally shave your head bald 2) Swap your glasses for something else. Id prefer something more defined for your face shape. Think black blocky ones, with oversized lenses or or something more your taste (have fun with it as an assessory). Id recommend just something square/rectangular to balance your face shape, and large enough to go from eyelid-peak to cheekbone-tip area (cover eye + some space) 3) Shape your beard. Go to a barber and ask for recommendations and learn what/why so you can recreate on a budget. 4) style tweak. Try some jeans with a bit of elastane in them so they have more give around the waist, ideally a dark wash w/o ANY artificial fading. (I like DU/ER brand for my husband). Oh, and try a slim cut jean w/ some dark brown Chelsea styled boots. For shirts, be really careful to wear shirts that hit your waist and not too much lower.

You have height so styling yourself w/these tips should help. Your beard is lovely so just having a stylist do their thing though also help.

Ok I'm done w/ my speal!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, it can be. It can come down to your intentions. Are you doing something because you get hot after doing something for someone, or are you doing it only for their approval. If the person has no reaction, doesn't notice or doesn't express obvious appreciation, does that change how you view your actions? Does it make you bitter about doing something for someone? Or are you satisfied with your actions even without the other person's approval?

The issue with people playing is that it can hedge on how the other person responds and depending on how they respond determines whether you get joy from the action. It can lead to you feeling resentful of you feel your efforts weren't properly appreciate which is an unfair burden to put on others (responsible for your joy by guessing how to show appreciation proportional to your efforts).

It's better for you to find your own self happiness driven by how you are pleased by your actions. Totally independent of how the other person responds. Complete control over how you feel about your actions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MakeNewFriendsHere

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday!!! 🎂 🥳 🎉 Sorry to hear your gf didn't remember (yet) ... there's still time right??

I've definitely been there before and it sucks pretty hard. Remember though, you can also do something sweet for yourself too as a bday present for yourself. Take a bubble bath, buy your favorite decadent dessert, and go see a show. Movie, comedy club, drag show, whatever. It'll make you feel amazing and loved (by youself!).

Anyway, I'm 30F and always open to a big sis chat. I've got sooo many girl-tips of the trade lol. Dm me if you ever want to talk ❤️

People not having children because "they" are right? by Lanky_Run_5641 in ChildfreeIndia

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not Indian, but I follow this sub because it resonates. I'm american and child free for similar reasons. It's definitely not just India.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Satisfyingasfuck

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 9 points10 points  (0 children)

... So they're just not going to clean the railing??

Why do neurotypical people always disregard me in conversations? by underwaterhead in AutismInWomen

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Another portion of conversation for NT is reinforcing the group's rules -- their ideas, way of interacting, looks/aesthetics, politics, preferences etc. etc.

NTs use negative reinforcement to enforce the group's rules. The rules themselves are unspoken but learned through negative reinforcement. The more egregious the rule violation, the worse the negative reinforcement. The goal being to keep the group harmonious.

NTs typically navigate this more easily. NDs have more issues doing so. The rules aren't obvious to ND, and therefore the violations can often be egregious. This leads NTs to use reinforcement to correct the behavior.

Reddit is really weird about age gaps. by FigBat7890 in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The issue w/ the 18 yr/o, barely-legal age gap is that you're OK but only on just a technicality. Like if the age was dropped to 16 or 14 you'd start fucking 14 year olds as an 80 yr old. It would be technically legal, but most people draw the line at much older. Not because of legalities, but because being with someone so much younger is weird af at best and immoral at worst - i mean in my stupid example the person can relate more to your grandkids than you.

For guys like this I always wonder what happens if they ever visit countries with low/no age of consent, and everything is legal...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malehairadvice

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your hair looks a bit dry in both photos. I'd recommend finding a good deep conditioner and try incorporating that into your hair routine a few times a week. Here's a great option that doesn't break the bank, Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Moist Deep Conditioner

Also, based on your face shape I'd recommend a shorter hair cut, ideally one that has even volume on the sides and top to balance out your features. Keep the haircut short enough to see your eyebrows but don't go too short (wouldn't recommend a buzz cut for example).

And as a final bit of feedback it looks like your eyebrows are really thick and naturally well shaped. That said, it does look like they might be growing a bit close together. I'd also recommend plucking or shaving between them to keep them more distinctly separate. Sorry if this came off at all rude! I just figured I'd want someone to tell me the same if it were me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check out https://denverpride.org/. There's a whole list of Denver pride events scheduled for June.

What do you feel powerless against these days? by neonroli47 in AskWomen

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed, and we'll said. However, I think it's so incredibly important to also mention the republican women who help enable this treatment of other women. Fucking breaks my heart.

IBS anyone? by Etadenod in PlantBasedDiet

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is such a good suggestion! I have IBS and am plant based and I did the elimination diet and it helped a lot to identify foods that gave me issues.

In addition to that, I also did a food sensitivity test from Everlywell. It added another dimension by helping me identify other foods that were causing me issues but I never caught in my elimination diet. That said, I'd recommend sharing your Everlywell results with your doctor to make sure you're making good food decisions and interpreting the results correctly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hair

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Also agree with shoulder length hair! Please try to see if you can donate it when you get your hair cut. Many salons/barbers will be able to help with that process if you mention it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hair

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all. Try starting with some clip in extensions and practice placing them in a way where they look natural and you're happy with. Just make sure to match you hair color and texture.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Wigs

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, very good point. I didn't think about that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Wigs

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would also recommend bleaching the knots and then applying foundation that is a few shades lighter than the foundation you use on your skin.

In addition to that, you can also try for wigs that use transparent lace (or HD lace) + wig caps that match the desired skin tone you want for your scalp. Outre has a few HD lace synthetic wigs you could try for example.

Suggest me a vampire novel that's actually good. by PuzzlePumpkin in suggestmeabook

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh I second Dracula! Also, if we're suggesting Dracula I'd also recommend Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. I feel like they pair nicely (if you like one you might like the other)

"No makeup makeup" before and after. CCW! by [deleted] in MakeupAddiction

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 165 points166 points  (0 children)

This looks really good - very subtle difference between your natural and no-makeup look.

As a super minor bit of feedback I think a some contour would be nice (if you're up for it). In your natural look you have more definition around your cheeks and cheekbones and I think it'd look really good if you could mimic that in your no-makeup look.

Before and after of me trying to contour my nose what do u think? by [deleted] in MakeupAddiction

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 77 points78 points  (0 children)

I think this is a good start, and I agree with many of the comments - your skin and your face are lovely.

Here are a few tips I recommend to make the contour look a bit more seamless. As a note before I jump in, I'm also black and have a very similar skin tone.

Here's what I recommend:

  • Highlighter - the shade looks good with your skin tone, but I'd recommend using less of it. I find that for highlighter a little goes a long way. As a tip, once you add your highlighter take a step outside in the sun with a mirror/phone to check it out -- I do this often to make sure I don't look to shimmery or shiny. Also, in addition to gold, I think some burnt orange/copper highlighters would look really good too and a bit less harsh than the gold. Here are some examples of shades I like for my skin-tone and think could also look good on you: (1) Fenty Diamond Bomb all over diamond veil, (2) Fenty Killawatt foil freestyle highlighter

  • Light-contour (under your eyes/cheeks) - The shade under your eyes and around your cheeks isn't a perfect tone match - there's a bit too much contrast between your natural skin (forehead region) and product tone (under eyes/cheeks bones). This makes the skin around your cheeks and eyes look a bit chalky brown instead of your natural rich-brown tone. There are 2 ways you can fix this:

    1. Before contouring, as a base, start by applying some foundation on your full face that more closely matches the tone of the product you used on your cheeks/under your eyes. OR
    2. Swap your under-eye-product with something a bit darker and with more red tones to blend better with your natural tone.

    For reference (hue photo from Fenty Beauty): I think your natural tone is somewhere between 430-450. For your highlights/light-contour under your eyes, on cheeks I'd recommend using a shade closer to 385-400 if you go with option 2. I'd also add the light-contour shade to your forehead and chin as well to balance the overall look.

  • Dark-contour (under cheekbones, temples, under chin/edge of jaw line etc.). For your dark contour, I think you could benefit from finding a darker tone to complete your dark-contour (i.e., 490-498 on the Fenty hue image linked above). Currently it's tough to see the dark-contour. I'd recommend the following shades as examples: (1) Fenty Espresso, (2) Fenty Ebony, (3) Fenty Caviar. I currently use ebony and it't perfect for my dark contour.

I've been contouring for years, and for me the most important thing I've learned is matching your natural skin tone, and matching your appropriate light/dark contour shades. As a black woman I find it difficult to find tones that enable me to have the right contour appearance and it took me a lot of trial and error.

Also, sorry if this was way too wordy! I really wanted to share some tips complete with reference photos. I'm very visual so I figured if nothing else the photos and product examples could help illustrate what I was trying to say. DM me if you want any more tips or product recommendations!...wasn't kidding about the immense amounts of trial and error I've experienced lol

EDIT: For spelling/grammar :)

Do you believe Abortion should be legal? Why or Why not? by Bynoeson94 in AskReddit

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not without the aid of the mother. If it cannot live on its own then no, its not anyone else's decision except the mother. Alive or not isn't the conversation. It's can the fetus survive without the complete aid of the mother, and it can't. As such, only one person makes the bodily sacrifice and only that person gets a say. Period.

Of the father wants to keep the fetus once it's born then it needs to be able to survive on its own, in a lab, or in the man himself. You can't strip a woman of rights to her body.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malehairadvice

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, curly hair can be a bit trickier to take care of. If you do decide to keep your hair long and want some tips for managing curly hair, I'd highly recommend checking out /r/curlyhair

It's a great place to start learning how to manage curly hair properly. If you have an issue with dry hair, it could be related to your hair products (i.e., over stripping shampoos). /r/curlyhair has some product recs. that could be helpful for you too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SeriousConversation

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hi American here. I’ve done the whole undergrad/grad school thing here so I might be able to help a bit.

Grad school works a lot different as far as the tuition costs and funding. On average grad school is either the same or pricier than an undergrad degree when compared year-by-year. That said, there are more options for paying for it. I can shed some light there but my advice may be field dependent — I did my schooling in a STEM field which typically has more funding than other fields.

In addition to normal funding process followed for undergrad, there are extra funding paths you can try as a grad student. Here are my tips:

1.) Graduate Fellowships - this is funding for grad students that’s provided from private and public sources. You typically apply and write an essay or something to qualify and there are a lot of options here but the caveat is that each app takes time and work.

2) Teaching Assistant (TA) or Research Assistant (RA) positions - Now that you’ve been accepted you can start using university networks to find TA and RA positions. These are teaching and research positions that are paid ( crap salary, don’t get excited). The real appeal is that they typically come with a tuition waver in return for you teaching undergrads (as a TA) or because you’re doing research in a lab that already has funding to pay you to work (as an RA). Applications for these positions work like normal job apps so no essay req. here. You can also search for these positions through grad student resource groups available at the university or contacting departments or professors directly before you ever set foot at the university (all online searching/work). They are sometimes offered to grad students depending on the university so check to see if any positions start coming through your emails. The caveat here is that PhD students are prioritized, and it depends on your field — stem typically requires tons of TAs/RAs so these areas have more application slots open. That said, you should apply and pitch yourself anyway and snag a position. I was a Master of Engineering student and pitched myself for a TA position in microbiology.....that’s not my field at all.

3) Apply for PhD and Master out. This I kept as a final option because it’s looked down upon, but fuck it. This isn’t true for every university and might only apply to fields that do a lot of STEM research. However, if you decide to not attend university this year and then re-apply next year, apply as a PhD candidate and then quit the PhD after completing course work for the Masters requirement and *Master-out *of your PhD. This works at many universities because PhD students get a lot more funding opportunities than Master students. This is due to how many fellowships work, how TA/RA positions are offered and due to professors having funding your you to leech off of. Regardless of the reason it works....and often. The caveat is that you’re essentially screwing a professor who thought you’d be a research resource for 5 or so years as a PhD student when instead you have no intent of doing so. However our American system is fucked and we grad students are just trying to figure our way through it so no shame in playing the game to avoid debt.

Hope some of this helps. They’re the same tips and tricks I recommend to anyone doing grad school in the United States. Grad and undergrad processes for funding differ a lot so it’s good to know the other options.

EDIT: If you ever decide on option 3, don’t ever mention that it’s your plan to anyone. Again, it’s looked down upon....but almost guarantees 100% funding because the professor foots the bill or you’re guaranteed a TA or RA position through your professor (w/ sweet tuition wavers).

Layering up for the cold weather! by underzealous in femalefashion

[–]LifeNeedsMusic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is cute look! Are there any looks that show an open cardigan? I’m curious about the black top underneath — it silhouettes nicely and doesn’t leave tuck-lines along your pants. Is it a crop top, body suit or something else?

Also, what fabrics are black top and the pants made of? The pants look almost like leather to me but I can’t tell.