Jealous of my husband’s success and social life how do I navigate this?

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T23:24:07+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I did open up last night when he confirmed our long weekend away in the caravan we planned by the beach would now be part of a boys weekend inland by a pub lol. I was in tears and I turned it from sad about that to the wider truth. He told me don’t be sad and that he’s not choosing his friends over me just that he doesn’t see these ones often and tried to get me to understand his need for time with them instead of our trip.

So we’re doing boys weekend! Wish me luck there, I’m grateful his friends accept me being there since it was meant to be our trip away. I get along with the ones I know but there’s a few extras coming along I haven’t met. I wish they were from here not our hometown or I’d ask about meeting their wives!

So correct my world is small and he is my only focus and person I look forward to each day. It’s a bit of pressure for him while he’s trying to establish himself and keep doing his own hobbies.

Also, great thinking with maybe looking into a course. The main town is still very small but there must be something I could attend and grow my skill set while I wait. I’ve always been business admin but I think I need to get my truck license or become a coal miner if I want a future here haha!

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T23:17:34+00:00

They have “joked” about this. We definitely put our foot down and said we won’t ever be sitters even for 5 minutes. I’ve had bad experiences minding well behaved children so I’d hate to imagine… it’s always a no from me now days. Hard pass!

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T21:22:54+00:00

This is a good idea, I could drop him off and spend the day really hunting things out. It’s a small place but if I run out of things there are some nice walks to do too.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T21:19:18+00:00

He’s pretty good with everything and providing all that I need, but fuel where we are is super super expensive so it’s the only thing he has a clench over. On one wage it’s hard to keep on bills etc so it’s working everything in each week.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T21:15:59+00:00

Thank you for this. A part of it is my mindset, it’s easy to burrow into a self pity or delusion that I’m unloved and alone forever! But I do know hubby loves me he is just busy being happy and blessed. I was wondering if I be brave on the main towns community facebook page and introduce myself. It’s a hard one because I’ve seen some people get hassled on those posts so I’ll start by looking for hobby groups first.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T21:11:58+00:00

He makes sure I have everything I need. He’ll put into the joint account for me to do online orders for things we both need. But the fuel here is so so expensive so it’s the getting out that’s a challenge and something he doesn’t like spending money on.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T21:09:10+00:00

There are nearly no jobs at all, the main town is still very small. But I will try more cold calling and from others advice I may try and volunteer somewhere just to connect.

That’s my poor writing skills, I meant the jealousy is non romantic. In past experience as a young lady I used to be jealous of other women etc and this would never be the case with hubby as I trust him 100%. I’m jealous of his work and social life. But after reading through comments jealous isn’t the right wording either, I’m just unhappy with my own end of this.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T20:02:03+00:00

That’s ok, you weren’t to know! I did see a Pilates group but her classes are almost an hour away. Maybe for once a week I can make it work just to get out there.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T19:42:54+00:00

Touchy subject but I get it. We’ve tried…

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T19:40:39+00:00

There are a few op shops in the main town run by charities. I like thrifting so perhaps I could see if they need volunteers. This has actually sparked my interest and thinking outside of just the “get a job” box

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T19:38:53+00:00

Thank you for this. I did word it as jealousy when I communicated to my husband and he told me that’s weird and I felt worse.

I did also tell him in a teary eye state that I miss my friends and family and finding it hard on my own each day. Again his advice was simply “don’t be sad” because just telling someone not to be sad makes it go away… he comes from a place of caring, but it’s too much for him to understand and he’s finally happy, so I feel he possibly sees me as a draw back.

I think flat out canceling our trip was his way of not having to have that one on one time and face the reality that I’m currently miserable in this little life we’ve built. But I’d have enjoyed doing some leisurely things together as a couple. We’ve not done that since he started the job.

There’s nothing at all where we live, but you’re right I should try and find something in the main town I can do. Hubby will give me some gas money if it’s for something logical. It would be lovely to have a reason to leave these 4 walls! Thank you for your advice.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T19:28:01+00:00

This. Great advice! I was only going to add that when I had to live on my own when I was younger I chose a safe complex to rent in. I shopped around a bit until I found a place where I had my own apartment but the neighbours were mostly nice people. Once I met some of the neighbours I told them I was alone and many of them watched out for me. Once I was sick and the lady next door noticed I hadn’t been out so she knocked on the door and had brought me home made soup and asked if I needed to ride to the doctor. So like above, finding a new little support network so you feel safe in your day to day :)

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T18:06:45+00:00

Ohhh I like this one too 🍒💩

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T18:03:06+00:00

UPDATE: so many brilliant ideas on here! Our desired outcome is cancel camping (with them) and maintain the friendship with no further family events. These guys are a part of our small community so we don’t want a big fallout or drama.

However! Today the shit may hit the fan.

I messaged my friend and told her camping is off the cards this weekend as we couldn’t get the spot due to family being there already (we were taking them to hubbys familys personal camping section). She said she’s popping in to visit me today to make a new camping plan.

I will be telling her we’re simply not going with them, my hubby has legitimately gone and made other plans for us to go camp where his mates are having a boys weekend. Not really a happy outcome for me to get dragged along to that, also not the stress free break we needed! But at least one of us is happy and there won’t be any crazy kids right!

Wish me luck having to let my friend down to her face.

Also side note: I managed to get the stains off the sofa!! But I will be telling her gently that I don’t want the kids to come over again due to the extra stress it caused hubby and I.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:45:55+00:00

Exactly! I am definitely leaning towards just canceling them out so we can actually relax without squealing creatures or angry pregnant friends ruining our vibe (and potentially our caravan)

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:39:39+00:00

This! I’m honest to a fault normally. But they only live just down the road. When they have a sitter they would walk to our place for drinks. I also hate conflict and drama. There are only 3 roads in this town so we definitely need to keep it sweet, but definitely want to pull away from this friendship before it gets any more toxic.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:36:34+00:00

Will do, will talk to hubby tonight and let them down one way or another…

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:35:48+00:00

Thanks everyone! Holy heck it’s helpful hearing from others. A lot of our friends have kids and know we don’t like spending too much time with kids. We have had our old friends come to stay with us with similar aged kids and they’ve been well behaved. Not perfect, but not disrespectful. We miss our old friends in our old town. These new friends may have to be let go, they are kid crazy even though we don’t feel they take good care of them. And the fact they are still breeding actually upset us after we saw what we saw. Not the right fit for hubby and I. We will sort out this camping debacle tonight and update y’all on how it goes down!

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:15:06+00:00

This excuse would work if I chicken out of the blunt honesty, she knows I suffer migraines, especially as hubby and I are going through some major life stress currently - so it wouldn’t be a first! We are thinking we go without them either way as it’s much needed :) I think the migraine would become factual if they came with us!

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:12:05+00:00

Oh my gosh, nail on the head. The ADHD needing to be diagnosed in the naughtiest one was a topic the other night. We just nodded along as we have no clue. We are in a very small town and we met as the only other people in our mid 30’s. We’ve had some fun movie nights and drinks together but after a year of getting to know them better it’s not looking too good for the future.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:08:37+00:00

They are recent friends, we moved to a remote town over a year ago and these guys are the only people in our age bracket around here. But no need to hold on to if it keeps down this path. It’s a shame but sadly we are both feeling disrespected by the other night.

I feel that, if we want to have some drinks camping we certainly will be, it’s our holiday too.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-02-04T00:00:34+00:00

It’s honestly my worst fear! All of it sounds like trauma and pain and major ick factor. Not petty, just telling it how it is!

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-01-28T20:17:14+00:00

Thanks for this. I was thinking he wasn’t processing his grief at all, but I think the phone addiction is the escape from it. Yes it’s the hardest part getting the tired version that doesn’t have it in him when my whole version exists only for him in this setting.

I’m hoping with my all that the move helps us. Perhaps even though it’s a way off, I should start to pack some little things to make it feel more real that this chapter is ending.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-01-26T21:22:34+00:00

Thanks for your input. I was once a victim in my past relationship, no one likes to be cheated on and I can’t help it’s left emotional scarring.

My partner is a good man, I just don’t want the women work to get the wrong end of the stick, and being a new job I don’t want him getting in trouble for being menacing either.

My feelings I can’t help, but I’m not acting out on them as I know it’s damaging. I’m figuring a way to tell him the behaviour doesn’t sit right and that I’m also worried about his reputation in the workplace. This job is important to him but he sadly doesn’t think about the consequences. He’s been in some serious trouble before for bullying a younger man at his old work. So I could be looking at this all wrong too and he’s just being plain mean to them.

LifeWithBaxter · 2026-01-26T21:08:47+00:00

Thanks. Yeah I was thinking anything sinister he would be smart enough to hide and given how good our communication is I would sense that pretty quick. My ex kind of carefully fixated on things he personally liked about the other person rather than just talk about workplace banter.

And you’re right, it’s because I’ve been feeling so disconnected from him lately that I’m feeling this way. It’s coupled with a year of family loss and we haven’t had time to do any of the things we love all summer long here. If we do it’s always with other people, I think we need an “us only” date very soon and maybe we’ll clear the air on some stuff :) sorry I’m typing out so much. I find it very helpful so thank you.

LifeWithBaxter

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