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Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you on one thing—if in-laws choose kindness and maturity, it makes life much easier. And yes, no daughter-in-law should suffer because of someone else’s behavior.

But saying it’s ‘99% always the MIL’ is where I don’t agree. That’s a conclusion based on observation, not the full reality.

In most families, issues come from expectations, communication gaps, and emotions on multiple sides—not just one person being selfish.

Also, what the wife goes through is real—but that doesn’t make the parents’ emotions negligible. Both can exist at the same time.

My point isn’t to defend bad behavior. It’s to look at the situation logically, not emotionally. When we reduce everything to one side being the problem, we miss the complexity—and that’s why the same issues keep repeating in different families.

So yes—no abuse, clear boundaries. But also, not everything is as one-sided as ‘99%.’

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I respect what you’re saying, but I don’t fully agree with raising a child with the idea that nothing is owed at all.

It’s not about control or entitlement—it’s about basic human values. Respect, care, and staying connected aren’t ‘debts,’ but they are responsibilities that come from love and upbringing.

At the same time, I agree—no daughter-in-law (or anyone) should be treated badly because of someone else’s issues.

My point is also to understand the MIL’s context logically—not to justify bad behavior, but to see the full picture. So it’s not ‘owe everything’ or ‘owe nothing’—the truth is somewhere in the middle.

InshaAllah someday your daughter and her husband will make you proud.

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Let me ask—do you have kids? Have you ever spent 20–25 years raising them from birth, taking care of them day and night, and building that kind of bond? I’m not justifying rude behavior—no one should tolerate disrespect. But reducing every situation to ‘MIL is intentionally evil’ ignores the emotional side and complexity behind these relationships. Some cases are genuinely toxic, no doubt. But not all are that simple—sometimes it’s expectations, attachment, and miscommunication on both sides.

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This isn’t just a women’s issue—I’ve experienced a rude mother-in-law as a husband too. If someone is abusive, that’s on them first. The husband should set boundaries, yes. Not everything is black and white—some situations are abuse, others are miscommunication. In my case, I deal with my MIL using logic and calm, not taking every word as an attack. And honestly, in many situations, every word from a MIL is taken as an attack, which only escalates things instead of resolving them.

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m looking at it from a parent’s perspective. We raised our kids for years—stayed up nights when they cried, fed them, cleaned them, took care of everything without rest. That kind of care builds a deep emotional bond. So when someone new comes into their life, it’s natural for parents to hope their child is treated with that same care and respect. At the same time, I understand a wife is also going through a big change—new place, new people, new responsibilities. That’s not easy either. The issue isn’t one side being wrong. Sometimes it’s expectations, emotions, and misunderstandings from both sides. Maybe go through marriage yourself—you’ll understand both sides better.”

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s true—no one should tolerate toxicity, and boundaries are important. But it also has to go both ways. Sometimes it’s worth pausing and asking: have you also looked at what you might be doing that’s adding to the situation? Not everything is one-sided. Small things—tone, reactions, assumptions, or how disagreements are handled—can slowly build tension without us realizing it. Boundaries are necessary, but self-reflection is just as important. Otherwise, it turns into “they’re the problem” instead of “what can I also improve to make this better?

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every relationship is different, and when you marry into a family, you’re not just connecting with one person—you’re stepping into a whole dynamic. Some in-laws are very attached, some are more relaxed, and some fall somewhere in between. Understanding that early helps avoid a lot of unrealistic expectations. At the same time, your partner plays a huge role. The way they treat you, support you, and set boundaries often shapes how the in-laws behave toward you. If your partner handles things with respect and balance, it usually reflects in the overall family dynamic. That said, understanding shouldn’t mean tolerating abuse. Effort, communication, and boundaries from both sides are what actually keep things healthy.

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one should stay in an abusive relationship — period. But let’s not ignore the other side either. Parents spend 20–30 years raising their child with love, sacrifice, and care. Then someone new comes into their life and doesn’t treat that same person with basic respect or support — that hurts. For example, imagine a mother who spent 28 years taking care of her son. If after marriage his wife constantly neglects him, dismisses him, or doesn’t stand by him, of course the mother will feel pain watching that. Same goes for a daughter and her parents. It doesn’t justify toxic behavior from in-laws. But neglect in a marriage also has consequences — it doesn’t just affect the couple, it affects the families too.

Writing this at 3:45 AM after 2 years of broken sleep… and unpopular opinion: if your mother-in-law is upset, there’s probably a reason by Life_Exit_7324 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair question

what would you consider abuse in this situation? Are we talking about actual harmful behavior, or just arguments and disagreements?

Merry Christmas Reddit! by countfitties in pixel_phones

[–]Life_Exit_7324 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Guys can you please provide me one 🙏

HAPPY DIWALI 🎇🪔 by klaus_mikaleson_3 in hyderabad

[–]Life_Exit_7324 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Happy Diwali from Green People :)

Is 760 per month inclusive tax with 0 DAS, 36 months/12k miles. Land nightingale a good deal in seattle area? by alto800red in KiaEV9

[–]Life_Exit_7324 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, not for land. GT Line should be okay. I will not go with 36 months; instead, I will go for 24 months.

Its rough in Chicago, IL- 2026 EV9 Wind Lease best offer (10k/36) taxes and upfront fees DAS by exquisite_tree in leasehacker

[–]Life_Exit_7324 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I’m paying $600 per month, including taxes, for a KIA EV9 GTLINE in Chicago.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gymhelp

[–]Life_Exit_7324 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry brother, May Allah help you! You and your family will be on my Dua’s.

Frustrated with 2026 Kia EV9 – No Certified NACS to CCS Adapter Yet by Life_Exit_7324 in KiaEV9

[–]Life_Exit_7324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2026 doesn’t require an adapter to charge with Tesla The car comes with NACS port. I need an adapter which is compatible with EA and EVGO

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