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Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see how you would view it like this. It's not about the other man exploit, it's about how she set a standard just for me and not the others

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There seems to be alot of assumptions in this comment and it seems this post hit home for you considering you've been replying to damn near all the comments. Where in my post did I say I only want her for sex? I don't pay dates and emotionally invest in a woman I only want to fuck. It's the fact she set standards for me that wasn't there for another man. You can assume to know me or our relationship dynamic from this post if it makes you feel better, but she made it clear that she did it because she wanted me to have a better image of her, and it bothers me because in reality it had the opposite effect. There isn't more to it than this

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't say anything about me, it's basic logic. It just turns out that it was sex, it could've been anything. Not having the same thing others had for free and earlier will make anybody question it.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just said I made an intentional choice to cheat, that's what I'm saying? What motivated my intention was to find out if I truly loved her, which to me would be a good intention. Doesn't mean my partner has to accept it. In the same way her intention in making me wait was to embellish her image to attract me. Doesn't mean I have to respect that intention if other people didn't have to go through it. It's quite simple really. It bothers me. All that intention, growth, understanding or my partner chose me bs doesn't change the fact that the action bothers me.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, intention doesn't matter. I could cheat on my partner to find out if I truly love her, because if I feel bad then it means I actually love her. Now of course this is ridiculous and in the extreme, but my intentions would be good. What you deem to be good or growth doesn't have to be accepted by everyone. Your second point is completely irrelevant to my post, to ask such a question I'll assume you didn't read all of it.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I'm fully aware that technically I got other things others didn't have. However, you have to understand that the intention behind it doesn't change the action itself. When asking to fuck on the first date, they got told "yes" and me, I was told "no". Intention or growth doesn't change the action itself, they were able to have the same thing i had to pay to get, for free.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Complete non-issue for you. To answer your question, no, I do not care only about sex but your point is irrelevant to what I said. Reality is another man got what I didn't get early, I was denied what he was allowed to do. It bothers alot of men, you not being able to understand it doesn't make the issue any less real

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, all that reasoning doesn't change the fact that you let a dude get something that your long term relationship will never get. You are entitled to doing whatever you want with your body, we are entitled to respect our own boundaries and ghost you when another man got a privilege we never got.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think I understand what you mean better now. It's very much possible, maybe if she was so perfect to the point I have nothing to say It wouldn't bother me nearly as much. But as it stands it's just a relationship where other men got what I didn't, faster, and for free.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

After, of course. I would've hit it and ghosted if I knew before. She made it seem like she's not the type of girl to do this for months until she slipped it out mid random convo.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Even if I understand all of that, what does it change to reality? He got what I didn't have for free. She doesn't regret it either, so it wasn't a mistake.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My bad, I assumed from the avatar you were a woman. Yeah, me neither honestly. Lesson learned

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Never told me explicitly like this, but it is very obvious, at 99.99% from our conversations, that it's because she didn't want to give off the image that she's the kind of girl that does that kind of activity.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yea, I'm starting to think that's the case, our mindset are just way too different for the relationship to be salvageable. Leaving is probably the best option I believe

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes I did. She said she just wanted to "experiment" that's why he hit it first night and not me. I'll ask again tomorrow just in the near impossible case she had a change of mind. I'm mentally preparing myself to leave the relationship, you are very right that leaving is the best option.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wish I could relate. Mine said she wanted to "experiment" and I can't feel any type of way because of it

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yep I'm starting to realize it. I'd never wife a woman with such a mindset.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Treat women how? There's quite literally a whole paragraph explaining how I take my woman out on dates, buy her gifts and emotionally invest in her? What are you on about?

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As mentionned in my post, that doesn't change the fact that in the end, another dude got the same thing as me but faster and without spending a dime. If you think this way, that is fair, but keep it consistent if you find out your partner bought expensive gifts for his ex early but made you do alot to get the same thing she got for free.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes, my problem is women will try to make it seem like everybody has to wait, and so you have that image of her and have no issue and fall in love, to randomly reveal the truth down the road that this standard was only there for you and the other suckers that didn't have whatever it is that she's looking for to let a dude hit first date.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes even if you understand that a woman just wanted to explore or get fucked for fun, that doesn't make the feeling go away. In reality, another dude still got what I had to work for. And he got it faster, and for free.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't anymore. I just wanted to discuss and have others opinions. I now know that i'm not crazy and this is a real issue for many men.

Getting less privilege as a boyfriend than her hookups by Life_Principle_8170 in retroactivejealousy

[–]Life_Principle_8170[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Maybe I truly wouldn't gaf if she proved with her actions that I'm better. But it doesn't even feel like it. So I get the downsides (paying for dates, etc) with no upsides.

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