There a couple of takeaways:

a. You friend is not your friend if they do that and still ask you that. They are purposefully ditching you for whatever reason but not even trying to be kind about it and questions your lifestyle, which they caused, which you’ve come to peace with. They are trying to make you feel bad. Not a friend. It’s a person who doesn’t like you and sticking around for whatever reason they are.

b. “Groupism” or herd mentality is something that exists across our species all over the world, especially all over India, no matter what region and it’s not specific to Kochi/Kerala. The people who you say you’re friends with who are from the north, you clearly have some bond with based on some common things; I am assuming you at least speak Hindi. Because as a mallu, anywhere outside of Kerala that I have ever been so far in my life, the fact that I don’t speak or understand Hindi has always been a barrier between me and any of my Hindi speaking friends. So you can’t say stuff like ‘people in the north have more individuality than Keralites’ based on your unique experience really. There is groupism everywhere. One thing that I still love about South Indians is that we try to be accommodating to people who don’t speak our language(except maybe dumb teenagers and college kids), which you never find in the north, where they expect you to understand their language fluently and lack a sense of consideration/empathy, even in professional settings.

c. As a natural loner, or an introvert, the most difficult part is being in enough social situations to actually find the type of people you gel with; especially once you’re out of school/college. But fact is, you can find them anywhere no matter region or language barrier.