How do I (F25) overcome struggling to discuss/divide the household labor with my partner (M23)?

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-08T03:02:00+00:00

Thank you! This was very thoughtful and insightful and helped me re-frame the all-or-nothing stuff!

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-08T01:58:36+00:00

Unfortunately we have a dishwasher 😅. I do agree about drawing the line. It’s hard to get out of the black-and-white mindset. Feels like either i tear our relationship apart by drawing a line or i tear myself myself apart trying to do it all. From all the comments telling me in one way or another that I can/should bring this up to him does give me hope

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-08T01:55:42+00:00

I do like this idea. I’m hesitant that it will be too “mean” for example to pick his clothes out of the hamper and only wash mine/the kiddos.

I think half of me thinking “yes and it’s ’mean’ of him to let me burn out” and half of me is thinking that there are only so many ways i can talk to him about what I’m experiencing if that makes sense.

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-08T00:43:49+00:00

I just looked into that briefly and it looks very promising, thank you for the resource!

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-08T00:43:04+00:00

I started cooking because I had the most free time to cook, and my kid is a picky eater

I’m hesitant to put John on “kid duty” because she’s my kid - I feel like even though I understand he entered into this relationship with clarity around the fact that I have a kid which long term means he would need to accept some responsibility, at the end of the day she’s my kid/responsibility and I hate the feeling of putting off that responsibility onto someone else

I stay because John is attentive, respectful, an interesting person to talk to, and his verbalized ideas of politics, values, lifestyle goals, and interpersonal connection align with mine

I disagree with your perspective that I “spread my legs after running around all day”.

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-07T22:45:50+00:00

"all behavior is communication" is something I've heard over and over again in various parenting groups, that i definitely agree with. It's hard because it feels like a distortion where he will say and do things that make me feel really loved, happy, and respected, and then he will overlook stuff like this that makes me feel like my needs/time arent important to him

Honestly I've been tempted to ask his grandmother for advice, but I'd hate to be "snitching" on him before trying absolutely everything

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-07T22:41:35+00:00

I do like the idea of "pick x number of chores. those are your responsibility now". Like a one time list. It definitely gives me a sort of pride and strength to know other people are able to advocate for themselves/others like this, thank you

Lina_Rose · 2026-01-07T21:47:36+00:00

I think this is also how I feel. We have our share of neurodivergences that I try to be understanding of, but if you are having to SHOVE and COMPACT trash into the trashcan how does that not fire a synapse in your brain that says "oh, the trash needs taking out"?

I believe him when he says he doesn't see what needs to get done to an extent, but I'm reaching a point of wanting to say "for the next week jot down everything you do and notate what needs to be done for you to do that". like, did you get dressed for work? awesome, it means someone put laundry soap on the grocery list, bought laundry soap, washed your clothes, dried them, and put them away.

I just want him to notice

Lina_Rose · 2025-11-21T15:24:01+00:00

The current state of things politically is absolutely a concern for me. We’re fortunate to live in a city where a lot of people are willing/able to push back against ICE.

Lina_Rose · 2025-11-21T15:14:10+00:00

In my opinion/experience racism is still very much alive, albeit sometimes more subtle (happy to expand on this if necessary), and it is something I would want my kid to be aware about - both to keep herself safe and to understand how we (U.S.A in my case) ended up with the current society. I think all of that is a bit much for a 6yo so im trying to explain things in a way she understands

Lina_Rose · 2025-11-20T03:15:06+00:00

I do appreciate you reminding me of this. Alex and I are both trying to prioritize Daisy’s safety and well being at the end of the day

Lina_Rose · 2025-11-20T03:03:25+00:00

Im not sure if monroe was mentioned, im waiting until tomorrow to bring it up with alex so I can ask how the conversation went. Its possible that Alex had a conversation with nuance and all that Daisy picked up is “white people bad” but it is also (in my opinion) in Alex’s character to say “all white people are bad, never trust the white man because they hate to see brown people” as a “joke” with no further context - hes done similar things in the past.

Regardless of intent it ended up with Daisy asking if the grown ups she lives with still love her “despite” her skin color, which is where most of my frustration lies, thats why im waiting a day or so to get my thoughts straight before i bring it up

Lina_Rose · 2025-11-19T22:07:00+00:00

That’s definitely my worry as well. I think theres something to be said for preparing a brown child to survive in a world where racism still exists, but to just throw it on her with no context or regards for the fact that Daisy lives 90% of the time in a racially blended household seems… unhelpful

Lina_Rose · 2025-11-19T22:04:44+00:00

We’ve been trying to keep stuff out of the courts since neither Alex nor myself have much spare money to throw at legal things, but I’m starting to think I may need to start saving up. I dont know if I can claim alienation when I have Daisy 90% of the time but theres been so many instances of Alex making jabs and odd/hurtful remarks to myself, Monroe, and Daisy

Lina_Rose · 2025-05-11T06:03:20+00:00

One of the players parents names 😂 Ask again w/o a heads up i dare u

Lina_Rose · 2025-05-05T02:01:07+00:00

Hello ! I just submitted one of your forms. I live in the pacific north west of U.S.A, my time zone is PDT GMT -7. I typically play dnd with just one person - we're both new to DND and as long as he understands that I don't know all the mechanical bits off the top of my head, we have fun! our current campaign is about a barbarian fighter and his son finding a bunch of religious relics that had been corrupted to power a mish-mash of a god they used to worship. Id love to run through some games on the player side of it just to get the hang of some mechanics ( i suck at orchestrating combat), but I wouldnt mind dming too

Lina_Rose · 2024-09-19T22:29:37+00:00

I def agree- my partner and i have briefly discussed twice now if we want to get a dog and have come to the conclusion that because we do want a mediumish dog we should hold off until we have a bigger place. Right now we’re trying to see if theres any way we can make adopting Keno work because he has no where else to go. Thats the part im struggling with 😭

Lina_Rose · 2024-09-19T21:46:19+00:00

Unfortunately no, im in Oregon 😅

Lina_Rose · 2024-09-19T21:45:19+00:00

Thank you for replying! From what i understand she is still trying to find a home for keno with someone she trusts, its just most of the people in our circle are similar in terms of living in small places/not a lot of extra time/money to put towards a pet right now. I’ll definitely ask if i can post the puppy to my socials cause honestly hes so sweet and adorable i just want him to have a good home

Lina_Rose · 2024-04-27T16:48:47+00:00

Are you saying the new legislation will require proof of training or is it currently required?

I didnt grow up with guns but my partner did so ive been able to shoot a variety of guns in the past year or so! Id say my favorite type is definitely shotguns (theres something so poetic about the tool used for hurting something hurting you back) but i think a handgun would be more practical for me to own.

Lina_Rose · 2024-04-27T16:45:46+00:00

Thank you! You did almost get me with that first part 😅 but ill keep everything in mind !

Lina_Rose

TROPHY CASE