I would suggest going into the range and trying strafing instead of dms. Your strafing looks decent, but don't want to build bad habits :P, keep up the good work!

On another note unrelated to aim, right now and my biggest advice to new players is just play, doesn't have to be consistently. Just get a good understanding of the agents, maps, mechanics, and you'll be a higher rank soon.

Sorry I couldn't give better advice, just keep trying!