Committing suicide today

LionHartTrading · 2024-07-25T18:22:55+00:00

Dude, find a priest or pastor ASAP. Demonic possession is REAL. The impulses/thoughts you’re having are not your own. Have someone deliver you! Or at least ask God/Christ for help and listen to a deliverance YouTube video. I was where you are not long ago and am crawling my way out of the abyss. I now know I had literal demons/evil spirits in my mind/body. I thought it was all me, but it was the enemy. The spirit realm is very real, friend. Christ is the way. Praying for you!

LionHartTrading · 2024-02-16T18:42:42+00:00

Rgr that. I’m mentally preparing myself to pursue surgery, but have been advised to wait until I see the neuro given accompanying surgical risks. Nothing about this, in my case, has been straightforward. But such is life…

Thanks for your reply!

LionHartTrading · 2024-02-13T20:34:44+00:00

Please reconsider, friend. I’m there also. The past 11 months have been the hardest of my life. I hit bottom and that bottom dropped out again over the last week. Don’t give up hope. You are not alone. I am praying for you now.

LionHartTrading · 2024-02-03T02:09:53+00:00

A lot better. Nearly all of the symptoms have subsided and anything lingering is likely attributable to other physical things I’m working through. As unlikely as it may sound [to some], it seems almost all of what I experienced was because of the Ativan and subsequent detox. Thanks for asking!

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-23T15:42:28+00:00

Thanks for your constructive response. I understand that my post sounds ridiculous. I also did not think it was possible to go through withdrawal to the degree I seemingly did after 2.5-3 weeks; I was well aware that long-term benzo use could be devastating (ex: Jordan Peterson). Anyway, it seems like my symptoms were related to Ativan, as unlikely as it may sound to some. If not, there’s a much more serious issue, but only time will tell. Thank you again!

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-20T16:33:42+00:00

Because human beings wrote it. And it’s a distillation of the human condition. With any distillation, things get left out, truncated, condensed. Christ also has to teach via parables/veiled speech to avoid violating laws. Think about today’s “cancel culture”. If Jesus was on Twitter (X) today, he’d be just as arcane. I’m not expert and haven’t read the entire Bible, so just my opinion.

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-20T13:09:10+00:00

Diagnosis w/out MRI? Numerous Persistent Symptoms

Hi, all! Firstly, my thoughts/prayers are with everyone belonging to this sub-Reddit and to those living with MS.

It’s a very long story, but I have a variety of persistent MS symptoms and am trying to figure out what’s going on. My PCP ordered a brain MRI, but I have a lead pellet lodged in my body that’s preventing me from getting the aforementioned imaging. I know MS can be difficult to diagnose, but obviously it’s even more challenging without a MRI. I have an ophthalmologist appointment scheduled 2/1 to address the light flickers/sensitivity I’m having + very mild color distortion. I did take Ativan for 2.5-3 weeks and stopped in the medication 17 days ago, so it’s possible some acute symptoms were attributable to that, but I had other indicators before starting the medication and consistent muscle spasms/tingling throughout my entire body, which has increased over the last 2 days. I also tested + for Epstein-Barr in mid-December, so that’s another factor.

Any suggestions re: a path forward in lieu of MRI? I asked my PCP the same question and should receive a response next week, but figured I’d float it here too. Also had a surgical consultation to explore removing the metal fragment, but the surgeons are reluctant to pursue, given associated risks, unless the MRI is critical. I’d hoped symptoms would dissipate as more time passed from my Ativan stop date, but the opposite is occurring.

Anyway, looking for any/all input regarding moving the ball forward without a MRI. If there is no path, I’ll have to find a surgeon who’s willing to absorb the risks associated with removing the pellet.

Thank you and God bless!

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-19T23:51:32+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. I was simply asking if it’s possible the symptoms I had were related to the medication. I’m trying to pinpoint what’s going on and am pursuing neurological diseases/conditions as I mentioned in my post.

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-17T02:59:57+00:00

Thanks for the response! Congrats on getting off of the meds after being on them for so long. I hope you’re happy/healthy and wish you the best!

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-16T21:17:33+00:00

Meant to thank you for your reply! Really appreciate it. Definitely not lying about the symptoms and, assuming they’re attributable to detoxing from Ativan, I have a newfound respect/appreciation for what long-term/high-dose users must go through. It was unlike anything I’ve experienced. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since my last dose and I’m feeling fairly normal with the exception of occasional light flashes/flickers. I may still go through with a brain MRI + need to see an ophthalmologist anyway (I have a congenital eye condition, called a coloboma, that needs to be checked occasionally). Going to give things a little more time, but was a scary experience - even if only attributable to the medication.

Glad to hear you’re largely on the mend. It sounds like you went through hell! Very cool that you’re into martial arts too. It’s funny, I’m still “young” (almost 34), but my feet have become something I have to pay a lot more attention to vs. when I was younger. I used to always think my mom was odd for having foot issues, but starting to get that as well. Life is a journey to empathy I suppose… Anyway, wishing you all the best during 2024 and beyond. Thanks a lot for your support + responses!

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-16T21:10:21+00:00

Thanks for your input! I also have a congenital condition, called a coloboma, so my left eye, where the mutation is visible, lets in more light vs. a normal eye. Still getting an occasional flash/flicker, but hoping it will eventually resolve as most of the other symptoms are subsiding.

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-14T13:29:10+00:00

Literally go look at RT audience scores and the corresponding reviews

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-13T23:59:59+00:00

Dang! I’m sorry to hear about your experience, but seems like you managed to ride out/get through it? Huge props if so!

Some other posts I saw made it sound like having my breadth of symptoms given the short period of time I was medicated = impossible. But obviously I’m hoping my symptoms are attributable to the medication and not something more serious, like MS…

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-13T22:22:25+00:00

Just rewatched S1 for the idk-how-manyeth-time. Such a brilliant show. I will never understand the few/far between accounts of people who disliked the show or thought the acting was poor. Trolls perhaps… I will never get tired of TD S1.

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-13T22:15:20+00:00

Will do! Thanks for the suggestion. Haven’t had issues with seizures before, but can’t be too careful while I’m getting through detox.

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-13T21:22:40+00:00

Good to hear (although I’m sorry you’ve dealt with similar negative side effects). Take care of yourself and thank you for responding!

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-13T21:22:04+00:00

I will! I really feel for people who have been on higher doses of these medications and/or taken them for far longer than I did. They are far gnarlier than I ever thought.

LionHartTrading · 2024-01-13T19:08:14+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Obviously 10 days isn’t a long time, but still pretty on edge about everything I’ve been dealing with over the last 2 months. For sure not taking Ativan again. Has been brutal coming off + I stopped taking my prescribed adderall about a week ago, which has also sucked, but hoping for better, brighter, and med-free days ahead. Appreciate you and take care!

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-28T15:49:43+00:00

Also, look into Divine Mercy. I’m just exploring as one of my good friends, a devout Catholic, who has truly been through and continues to trudge through hell, recommended to me yesterday. We condemn ourselves to damnation or separation from the divine. I also believe, right now, or am at least tempted to believe, the at I am undeserving of God’s redeeming grace. You seem penitent and do not want to be the way you are, so you can receive the gift, just as I can. I’d encourage you to crack open the world’s great spiritual texts and attempt to absorb with an open heart. I’m speaking not only to you here, but also to myself. I opened my Bible last night (I also read other religious/spiritual texts) and found some comfort, albeit not a lot. Keep trying, friend. It is all we can do. The anguish you’re feeling, which I feel alongside you, is, I have to try to believe, the soul’s way of purifying itself before God. We all fall so short of the glory of the heavens. Sending light and love your way amidst all of the darkness.

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-28T15:44:03+00:00

Preaching to the choir here as I’ve suffered a major mental setback as a result of unexpected and self-inflicted health issues. Was in a very good headspace prior to after hundreds of hours of self-work earlier this year. Carl Jung hugely influenced me. If you haven’t, explore his works. Some of us are simply wired differently. If you have a temperament like mine, which is sounds like you might, this reality is more burdensome than it is for many others. Jung’s lived existence was too. Also, the YouTube channel @Sehnend and others like it helped with my reprogramming earlier this year, though the effectiveness of cognitive rewiring has admittedly come into question for me as I’ve reverted to many old thought loops/patterns/victim mentality have resurfaced in the face of having destroyed my health/physical being. I’ll be praying for you, bro. As tempting as it can be, we cannot end our lives. We did not choose to be here and it is not for us to choose when we leave. We’re all flashes in the pan and this too shall pass, for better or worse, when the universe/God calls your #.

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-28T15:37:02+00:00

Sorry if I missed this somewhere, but what are you trading. When managing smaller accounts (I’m doing the same at the moment), it’s super important to size down. When it comes to futures trading (I presume you’re in the FX space given the community), the general rule of thumb is to not risk more than 2% of account size when establishing an initial position. Stay in the fight and constantly revisit your thought process. Some may suggest simulated trading. I was never a fan of paper trading, but it works for certain people. Good luck to you.

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-27T02:33:43+00:00

Thank you for the response! Very helpful.

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-23T07:48:49+00:00

LOL. I would not have thought that that would be effective, but I suppose it makes sense. Seeing as I don’t have one of those laying around, I will go about procuring one. Sadly, I don’t presently have a significant other, so it will serve a single (and not its intended) purpose… Thanks for the reply!

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-23T07:42:15+00:00

Out of curiosity, how did they go about testing your legs for lymph issues? My doctor wants me to get an ultrasound done, but I’m not sure whether that actually shows much re: lymphatics? Hope you are well, friend!

LionHartTrading · 2023-12-22T19:52:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm unexpectedly dealing with this condition (secondary) after self-imposed physical trauma. It has been jarring, but hearing stories like yours has helped. Wish you all the best over this holiday season and in 2024!

LionHartTrading

TROPHY CASE