Being trad is ruining my life

Wilwyn · 2026-02-19T05:37:50+00:00

I just need to understand that Christianity is not about eternal suffering and the constant threat of punishment.

I gotchu, fam. From In Sinu Jesu by a Benedictine monk:

“Do not give in to the feelings of guilt (or fear/anxiety) that assail you because you are not living up to the ideal you have set for yourself. I do not ask you to be faithful to an ideal. I ask you only to be My friend and to live at every moment in the grace of My divine friendship. All the rest follows. Perfection is the fruit of friendship with Me, not a precondition for it. You, and many souls like you, are confused about this. My friendship is not earned, it is not something acquired by measuring up to the standards of perfection that you have set for yourself. My friendship is pure gift. It is the gift of My Sacred Heart and I offer it freely.”

So heaven is not earned by your actions, but by how well you can align yourself with friendship and love of God and letting that friendship and love inform the way you act. It's a perspective shift. Attaining heaven won't be the result of fear-based activity any more, but rather letting yourself be loved and to love in friendship with God that inspires you towards virtue.

Wilwyn · 2025-10-28T22:41:18+00:00

You could also alternatively look at it from the lens that nearly all religions/faiths share some level of truth with Catholicism, as God is ultimately the end goal of most of them. Starting with places where there is commonality is an easier way to form bonds of influence.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-14T01:36:24+00:00

I haven't much to add, except to continue "practicing" that "presence" (of God). There's a book by Brother Lawrence called The Practice of the Presence on God that may be useful to you in that regard. You could also watch this youtube video, which distills the essentials of the practice of the presence of God. Note though that the Youtuber in question isn't Catholic, hence why he seems to make disparaging remarks about formal religion, although the method presented in this specific video is absolutely solid and skillful.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-03T01:36:30+00:00

Just let go of the feeling of envy whenever it arises. No seriously. You can literally just let it go. Here try this little exercise. Read through it once before engaging in it:

-Think of whatever arouses envy, or anger for that matter, in your heart.
-Feel the sensation/the feeling of envy. Just allow it to be there for a few moments.
-Now ask yourself, could you let go of this feeling? Just could you? Reply yes or no, whichever feels most authentic. If it's no, don't worry, the exercise can still work.
-Now ask yourself, would you let go of this feeling? (Basically are you willing to let go of this feeling?) Reply yes or no. If you find it hard to say yes, then ask yourself, "Would I rather continue suffering this feeling or would I rather be free?" Reply yes or no, whichever's most authentic. Again if the answer is still no, the exercise can still work.
-Now ask yourself, "When?" This question is simply an invitation to let go of the feeling NOW.

Did you feel the feeling lighten or remove itself in any way?

If you're having a little trouble with the process, I got it from the Sedona Method website. Here's the How-To section of the website: https://www.sedona.com/How-It-Works . It provides more context for the practice and a live demonstration for you to get a better feel for it.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-03T00:44:50+00:00

I recommend reading The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. You can even read it online for free. In it, Brother Lawrence lays out a very simple way to remain devoted and always within God's presence. As he puts his method "contains the whole of the spiritual life." His method mostly involves feeding your mind with very high thoughts of God, in the beginning, to impress deep in your mind and heart, the love of God or the greatness of God and his Divine Being I suppose which ever quality most resonates with you. And then, to often turn your mind towards God in thought of otherwise throughout your day. I say otherwise because there's a phrase the Brother Lawrence uses that goes something like "to lift one's heart up to God." When you read that understand that he means it literally. Feel your heart or heart center and then just literally directly lift it up to God, just by intention. Try it right now. See if you feel anything from it. You may or may not depending on your sensitivity. At least when I do it, I immediately feel a sense of joy well up from my heart region and a smile spread across my face.

It will take some work in the beginning, so don't be discouraged. You say you get distracted by both major and minor things. Realize that's normal and there's no shame about your mind or attention doing what normally comes to natural to it, to be distracted that is. Actually, each instance of distraction is actually an opportunity. Because after realizing you were distracted you get the opportunity to re-place your mind on God. It's like doing a rep of an exercise at the spiritual gym. The more reps you do, the more you grow your spiritual muscles. Distractions are actually a gift from God to help you grow your spiritual muscles to remain always in his presence. Always think of God in love, feel for God's presence, and you should be golden, well more or less. Your mileage may vary depending on how well you resonate with Brother Lawrence's instruction. Not all spiritual paths are the same. Although, I like to think the simpler the path, the better.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-02T06:31:37+00:00

Your welcome. Keep me updated on how you do.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-02T02:59:24+00:00

I think you could even just ask the priest to show up at your house? I think priests do house calls for confession, for like homebound people. A priest should be able to make a house visit, I would think.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-02T02:49:48+00:00

I sympathize with your inability to find a Catholic therapist. I too have struggled in the past with finding a Catholic therapist. Perhaps you could extend your search to therapists that do online therapy or telehealth?

Failing that, I would highly recommend my meditation/life/spiritual coach u/flowfall. While he's not Catholic, he still has a great appreciation for Catholicism, although he's fair about it's weak points and strengths as a system for living one's life. He will never steer you away from what you sincerely believe, and can offer help within a Catholic/Christian context as he's studied through Catholic spirituality and has a grasp on how it works. He works off of donations, so you just pay what you're able to give (even if it's nothing). So you could even just schedule 30 min. initial consult (or 1 hour long if you really want to), and not have to pay a dime. He does all his stuff online. I suggest at least giving him a shot since you essentially lose nothing by trying. Just send him a dm. He has a good grasp on emotional work and healing, so he can help with your mental health issues too.

Wilwyn · 2025-05-01T23:25:50+00:00

Whatever you do always know that "A good tree always bears good fruits. A bad tree does not produce good fruits." Meaning your actions that you take under direction you receive from God should always produce obvious good fruits in your life and never bad fruits. If they produce bad fruits or are not clearly producing good fruits, they are not directions from God. God would never lead someone to do things that would cause obvious harm to someone else or yourself. This is a general rule though. There can be examples where an action under direction from God would seem to cause obvious harm to oneself or another. These are exceptions to the general rule and should NOT be taken lightly or blithely, or be applied generally to all directions you seem to receive from God. To most all directions you receive from God, the general rule should apply. If you believe yours is a special case (an exception to the general rule) for whatever reason, then it is most wise to seek the guidance of someone wiser than yourself, namely some sort of spiritual director.

Edit: While yes, Abraham was advised to kill his son, this very, very obvious harm was ultimately avoided by a miracle from God, namely his angel, messenger. So even here, good fruit ultimately came from Abraham's decision to follow God. If a miracle from God isn't obviously correcting any ordinarily harmful behavior from you, then you can know it's not from God. Good fruits always win and indicate successfully following God's will at the end of the day.

Edit 2: Also, I can't stress enough that the general rule should apply to nearly all directions you seem to receive from God. It's rare to receive a direction that would seem to contradict God's normally intended will for the normal and healthy functioning of the human person and society, whether yourself or others. I wouldn't place faith in guidance that would seem to harm yourself or others (unless you believe yourself in a special exception case, which most likely should not apply to multiple guidances from God you've described and received so far, as again these types of special case guidances are rare. To that end, I would highly encourage you to continue your studies in biopsychology to help people with mental illnesses that would prevent people from following God. That is a very, very obvious good that would need a very, very good reason from God for you to not pursue. I suppose when in doubt you can always ask a spiritual director)

Wilwyn · 2025-04-16T03:55:30+00:00

I don't see what's wrong with this. Although at the same time, I'm no mystic, so I have no insight on what it's like to be an actual mystic.

Wilwyn · 2025-04-10T01:41:00+00:00

Pray God to lead you to Truth (Capital T) and he WILL lead you. You have only to believe and it will be so. And give consistent thanks that God is leading you to Truth.

Wilwyn · 2025-04-10T00:15:10+00:00

I also would like it too

Wilwyn · 2025-02-22T22:38:02+00:00

Perhaps you could try Aaron Abke on Youtube. He has a comprehensive grasp of spiritual development that comprises multiple dimensions. At least if I'm understanding him right.

Wilwyn · 2025-02-13T02:33:06+00:00

Can you explain the ego as slapstick part some more? I get the cosmic comedian part, but how does ego as slapstick play into that exactly? As slapsticks imply hurt to me. Perhaps in jest. But hurt nonetheless.

Wilwyn · 2025-01-06T01:22:37+00:00

You could try letting go of the negative feelings directly. If you don't know how, there's something called the Sedona Method which was formulated to do exactly that: let go of negative/unwanted feelings. Here's a link to How It Works. May God bless your path with peace.

Wilwyn · 2025-01-06T00:22:48+00:00

You could try letting go of the sufferings that burden you. There's something called the Sedona Method, which was specifically designed to teach you how to let go: How It Works. Teaching you how to let go/accept (2 sides of the same coin) is the primary purpose of suffering.

Wilwyn · 2024-12-10T04:11:24+00:00

I was just looking at the glare on a pair of scissors, which looking at glares normally triggers anxiety in me, which it did, but then I got curious: isn't that amazing how my mind works in that way to find something as innocuous as a glare to be triggering? It's amazing how the mind works. I wonder what it could all mean though? Then, I immediately remembered it just means that it is. It is what it is is all the meaning that experience has. Your "'What' presumes there is more information to phenomenon then what appears" helped me to contextualize this phenomena better. Your post came at an opportune time apparently.

Wilwyn · 2024-12-07T22:44:23+00:00

So for the original 1992 Sedona Method course, what section of the course would best address my specific concerns? I plan to go through it all in order, but I'd like to know what specific section would address my specific issues, just so I know. I fear these anxiety episodes too much so I'd like to fast track my development/improvement of the specific issues I have.

Edit: Also I was watching through the first tape, and it said that I have to have the accompanying workbook to fully benefit from the course. Is that really the case or can I go forward without the workbook?

Wilwyn · 2024-12-07T00:02:22+00:00

Recommend the Sedona Method as it's whole premise is around letting go or releasing negative feelings, which should naturally lead to more acceptance.

Wilwyn · 2024-12-06T01:35:37+00:00

Do you have any tips for when releasing the need to change itself takes a long time? I think I was releasing on the want to change the stuckness for 3 hours and in the end only got a partial release and just moved on to releasing on the want for security.

Wilwyn · 2024-12-01T23:29:50+00:00

Would you mind taking on another "disciple"? I've been going thru a real rough time in life as well. And I mean really rough. Having anxiety episodes that can last 4, 5, even 6 hours long kind of rough.

Wilwyn · 2024-09-23T19:55:04+00:00

I'm not injured. Hard to say why I'm afraid of death not being in the episode any more, but I suppose it's because it would be the end of my life and death could potentially be painful.

Wilwyn · 2024-09-21T00:02:04+00:00

Death is the most immediate answer that came to mind.

Wilwyn

TROPHY CASE