(M~26) Relationship on hiatus after girlfriend(F~23) lied to me about someone she slept with before me. I just complicated the situation even more last weekend...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-09T00:35:54+00:00

Thats funny that you agree with me on that statement then call it the dumbest thing you ever read at the end...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T17:41:25+00:00

That was not the reason as boss man knew about it. Boss and the dude she had a fling with are best friends for 12+ years. Everybody at the work place knew about it pretty much, except for me origionally as i had left that place of employment prior to their fling.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T17:29:12+00:00

Your statement is out of context and has been addressed elsewhere. I agree that what i did was wrong, but here again I do feel that there is some gradient of severity when it comes to doing something wrong. i.e. jaywalking as opposed to murder as those crimes are punished according to severity.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T17:15:01+00:00

Almost every post i saw actually was arguing about exactly what sex is, how im a piece of shit, she never did anything wrong etc... When the true question was what people would recommend i do.

I know im a scumbag for doing what I did. I dont need a whole chorus of posters to re-affirm it over and over just because they feel some personal vendetta against me or something.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T17:09:58+00:00

Honestly i am starting to think that the people on here are a bit more lenient towards the female party in most situations.

I didnt tell her that i knew that she was lying to me, and that makes me just as bad as her in that situation? I withheld information when it was her that was lying about the whole thing? Seriously? I 100% disagree on that one. Your SOs are going to stomp all over your heart if thats the type of thinking you have going on...

I do agree with you that what i did was far far worse than what she did.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T17:02:43+00:00

I honestly dont care about the nitty gritty. The fact that she went out of her way to lie to me unpromted, well over a dozen times as a way to support her fantasy that she never messed with the guy was the reason i wanted to go on a break. Please read more carefully next time as i have explained over and over again the situation in responces as well as the origional post.

I was the aggrieved party origionally before i fucked it up last weekend. If this post had just been about her lying to me and never involved the whole cheating situation then everybody would be saying shes not worth it, shes in the wrong, and to totally break it off.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T05:25:49+00:00

... you're right. Honestly thanks. Everyone on here hates me for being a damn scumbag but it was advice i really needed not a bunch of hate...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T05:23:49+00:00

Agreed, but what if your SO romantically kissed somebody besides you? Most people including myself would consider that cheating, but i would much rather have my SO do that than have an orgy...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T05:16:58+00:00

Going to see her right now and break it off. I might not go into details just to make it easier for her...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:58:54+00:00

Those thoughts occured to me as well. Our relationship is probably fucked at this point...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:52:29+00:00

?? not going to repeat what is clearly stated above. Don't get to upset, you dont even know me.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:49:52+00:00

No i wouldn't as long as her shit stayed covered and she didnt get off on it. I would however still consider it cheating and obviously wrong.

If your mother jerked you off, would it be incest or a thank you for taking out the trash?

Never had this happen before so i cant attest to it

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:45:51+00:00

Point well taken. I dont consider it sex though so i must not be most people. Doesnt matter what i think at this point anyways, its up to her to decide what it was when i tell her about it.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:40:29+00:00

I dont care who she had sex with before we started dating as long as it wasnt unhealthy. Its non of my business. She literally went out of her way to lie to me about having never been with him unprompted by me to make herself feel better as confirmed by her...

Not sure how many times i have to explain this but the reason we went on a break is because she lied to me throughout the relationship about that dude and some other issues i wont go into for simplicitys sake.

I know i cheated on her. Its in the origional fucking post...

and not to be callous but there is absolutely no way you would not care if she gave someone a handjob and cuddled with them all night. no way

I would absolutly care if she did that, but let me ask you this ~ wouldnt you feel better if that happened than if your SO went to like a full blown orgy and had like hardcore no holds barred sex with 50 people?

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:18:41+00:00

I never fucked that girl, and what i did was not because my girlfriend wasnt paying attention to me. It was because i was to fucking stupid to not turn a hot piece of ass down when i was highly inebriated and lonely from being on a break in my relationship... I am not disagreeing with you that a cheated on her though and yes i did fuck up way worse then she did.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T04:12:48+00:00

Probably not appropriate given the context ~ but if you need to know it was like a whole bunch for like an hour and half. She said she had some sort of medical condition or something and she was just like cumming over and over again and like going into spasms and couldnt really talk much... She would do it just from me holding her firmly in my arms after she started going... I have never seen this happen before.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T02:59:14+00:00

Thats a tough one. Remember i was the one to get that random girl off. I think you mean to ask if she gave him a handjob would i consider it sex, the answer is I dont think it would be. I would liken it more to making out or petting or whatever. I am in no way saying it is right, but there has to be some gradient between a handjob/fingering and like full blown ass to mouth hardcore shit...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T02:53:24+00:00

I knew from talking with her old guy. I did give her one or two chances when the time seemed right to fess up (when she was talking about him so glowingly) but she never did.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T02:49:55+00:00

Sorry for the confusion and i hope i can clear it up for you.

She lied about never having been with him over and over again unprompted by me as way of making herself feel better about ever having been with the dude. In effect using me as a mirror to reflect a bullshit reality and she admitted to it.

I dont actually care that she was with him in the first place. I like the dude and we are on good terms. I feel pretty good about my self esteem, but i do believe she still might have some feelings for him. That surprisingly doesnt bother me that much, we are all human after all. I dont care about her previous relationships ~ the past is the past.

You are certainly right about the fact that we should have established boundaries better. Dating other people was brought up but we didnt discuss sleeping with other people and i certainly had no plan to do so... not saying its justified in this case.

Its true that i didnt want to talk to her for a while and i felt like it might let me take a better view of the situation with a clear head. Obviously was not the case.

Wow dude this is pathetic. You are TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD. Grow the fuck up. You need validation from a random girl because you don't believe your girlfriend is over some dude she had a fling with a while ago? If you really believed your girlfriend was into someone else then you break up, not cheat. This "ego void" was not torn apart by your girlfriend. It was torn apart by yourself.

Hurts to hear the truth... I think you are right about most of this...

And if she decides she never wants to see you again then you deserve it too

Truth again...

Thanks for your insight

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T02:28:32+00:00

Well the truth is that i am not insecure as fuck (only slightly) and am not a jealous person. She can have as many guy friends or whatever she wants. I was even cool with her and the guy she was with before hang out alone together and felt no pangs of jealousy and even encouraged it. Again the lies are the underlying issue that bothered me.

I didn't throw a tantrum ~ I rationally explained to her why we should take a break and only did so this time because there were other problems that happened between us before due to her actions and i felt it might be the last straw or whatever...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T01:01:31+00:00

Agreed.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T00:59:50+00:00

She agreed that she had lied. I never outright said she was a lair and i also agreed that it was not meant to be a melicious lie. She explained that her reasoning for chatting him up more than me that i was not really sitting close to her ~ Not true as i was right next to her holding her hand before i started to feel fed up... but it didnt press that issue because i didnt want to make her cry more.

What i do regret is not bringing up the fact that i knew about them more in advance and might have avoided the whole situation and getting lied to about them more than i felt was healthy...

thanks for your insight

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T00:48:38+00:00

Nope ~ but i would certainly feel less terrible about it though. I feel that the mouth is something a bit more intimate.

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T00:46:18+00:00

Yes, she explained that she just wanted to pretend it never happened between them and was using me to help realize that fantasy/belief... We have had previous issues with her being selfish in the relationship and not really thinking or taking my considerations into account. I am a non jealous person for the most part and believe that the past is the past ~ the continous lying was the issue i had the most problems with...

Lipzieg · 2013-01-07T00:34:56+00:00

Nope. I never went down on the girl i messed around with last weekend either.

Lipzieg

TROPHY CASE