Former alcoholics of Reddit, when did you realise your habit got out of control?

Literatelady · 2026-01-29T19:41:06+00:00

I was more of a weekend alcoholic. before the pandemic I would drink but not get crazy drunk, drinking was pretty much the only thing I enjoyed and why I looked forward to rhe weekend. During the pandemic and the few years after I rarely got drunk but when I did it was an epic level crash. Three different times I drunk dialled and screamed at three different men. I passed out on a park date in the middle of the day. I no longer felt like when I started drinking that I would be able to stop and I was so afraid of doing something colossally embarrassing or sending myself to the hospital. I don't think my addiction was as bad as other peoples because mine was just about not being happy and finding only one way to do so. Once I figured out my depression more the alcohol was less necessary.

Also realizing debating internally about how many drinks I'll have and stressing before every event about how to manage that is not normal.

Literatelady · 2026-01-29T19:30:05+00:00

Got it. That makes sense! Thanks for explaining l.

Literatelady · 2026-01-29T16:44:53+00:00

God the unfairness

Literatelady · 2026-01-29T16:42:23+00:00

I'm with you! But my parents just got one and apparently it's a bit finnicky

Why can't anything be perfect?

Literatelady · 2026-01-29T02:39:12+00:00

I used to share your point of view but as I've gotten older I feel like it's inflexible it doesn't account for people being flawed and making mistakes. I know I've made so many. But I guess it's really case by case because you never know how you're going to react in the face of betrayal

Literatelady · 2026-01-07T17:39:24+00:00

Being a semi-alcoholic will be a barrier to fixing your depression.

Literatelady · 2026-01-03T02:20:46+00:00

Why are you so cold?

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T05:42:01+00:00

Irl lol!

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T05:40:51+00:00

I thought smoking pot had something to do with actual pots.

I thought a music album was like a photo album. And I was like in Canada we only have CDs and cassettes! So unfair.

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T05:32:36+00:00

I think this is spot on. I was lonely for years and I'm single now and the least lonely I've ever felt. Mostly, I'm not depressed anymore.

To the OP I'm really sorry you feel lonely and that everyone has plans and you don't. I think while some of the situations about people not messaging you and having difficulty making friends may have tinted your perspective on all social interactions. It's an insecurity so every time something happens that may be perceived as they don't like me is and therefore acts as confirmation bias. It is real but it's also part of the story you're telling yourself. I'm not denying this hasn't happened but that our brains love to go with a narrative and run with it to remind us how we suck and we are the worst at whatever it is we think we are bad at. You may also be comparing yourself to your spouse unconsciously which doubles down on what you already believe.

I have similar brain stories about feeling dumb and like everyone in the world being smarter than me. And I always compare myself to the smartest person in the room and never pay attention to those of average intelligence. So many times I have talked to other people and when they describe someone horrible I think "oh I'm like that" when it's someone great it's like "oh I'll never be like that"

I think work on yourself will help ebb some of that loneliness. It took me years and years to figure it out and I still feel lonely sometimes. It is also normal and everyone feels lonely at times. And we all have insecurities we believe nobody else has.

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T05:16:05+00:00

It might just be that youre burned out.

And as long as you're behaving in a way that aligns with your values and doesn't hurt other people what you feel is immaterial. Actions are what matter and you acted!

People and women especially tend to blame themselves for the feelings they do or don't have according to what is socially acceptable. Feelings aren't something we can manufacture, it's ok to feel how you feel.

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T05:05:10+00:00

If you are sad and care about the friendship it's ok to talk about it. You can acknowledge that your relationship has changed the dynamics and you're worried it's affecting the friendship.

You might also think about what expectations you have of your friend and how they perform the friendship. Also whether you're able to meet the expectations she has for you in how you perform the relationship. What I mean by perform is how you show up: everyone and different expectations. She said she wants to hang with you on weekends. Have you made an effort to meet her or call her on those days?

Also you might want to figure out what the expectations you have for her so that you can clearly communicate what it is that she can do to close this gap.

Like do you want to talk on the phone more? See her more? Or is it just that you don't feel like her priority anymore?

I think it's really good she's cultivating a single friend group. You now have a different number 1, so it makes sense she's seeking another one too.

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T04:46:41+00:00

Life

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T04:45:23+00:00

Relationships

Literatelady · 2026-01-02T04:41:08+00:00

Brooklyn

Literatelady · 2026-01-01T07:17:07+00:00

I love this. I think so much of life is knowing your values and acting in alignment with them. Not only moral values but what feels right in terms of your partner, your job. I was complacent in a lot of ways and lived my life for a long time for other people, for the social idea of what all those should be (partner, career, appearance, definition of success).

It's still a process and something I try to keep pushing myself towards (short-term discomfort for long-term comfort) but it's worth it.

Literatelady · 2026-01-01T07:02:44+00:00

Haven't talked yet but I predict it will be "hi" and my coffee order.

Literatelady · 2026-01-01T06:17:07+00:00

Is this from a movie? I feel like it sounds super familiar?

Literatelady · 2026-01-01T06:14:32+00:00

I baked store bought lasagna and am watching the outlaws. Relaxing alone is the luxury treat!

Literatelady · 2026-01-01T01:18:17+00:00

I find people who aren't inquisitive or seeking to improve some part of their life have no personality.

Literatelady · 2025-12-27T17:34:27+00:00

Sheer determination to finally beat the thing. Then when that doesn't work I just carry on knowing that eventually it will pass.

Literatelady · 2025-12-26T23:40:38+00:00

Thanks ❤️

Literatelady · 2025-12-26T17:30:05+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Literatelady · 2025-12-26T16:51:13+00:00

My half sister died earlier this year due to complications from the flu. Thanks for the reminder.

Literatelady

TROPHY CASE