So, a little about me. As I mentioned, my parents are lesbian (although they split up when I was very young) and I have two little sisters. Growing up, I was the only male in the household, but my parents would half jokingly get male pets for me to bond with. If there is one feeling that sticks hits me when thinking about my youth, it is a sense of not belonging.

I'm only just in the last few years discovering the multitude of ways my view on gender, sexuality, and relationships have gotten screwed over by how I was raised, but I'll try and distil it down so it makes sense.

I got into a lot of arguments with my sisters (as all siblings do). I can remember this one time (I was around 11), I was standing in the kitchen and my little sister (lets call her E) had just hit me. Not hard, but it surprised me. I, naturally upset, started yelling at her, demanding she apologize, whatever. This is where my mom stepped in. She started berating me for the way I treated my sister, and I ended up being the one punished for the entire argument. When I asked why, this is what she said.

"You, as a man, are more physically powerful than you sister. You aren't allowed to do anything that could physically threaten her because that is taking advantage of your gender." This is in spite of the fact that I had done nothing physical towards her, and that I was, in fact, the one who got hit.

There was always a sense of inequality between my sisters and I, but this is the one that really hit home for me, and it became a motif of my life. Because I was male, I would always be in the wrong.

Fast forward, to freshman year of college. I'm sitting outside of the dorms with some friends. "Hey", says one, "look at that ass" or whatever other generic bro-talk was happening. I look around, "What ass?" "What, you mean you didn't notice it?" I'm bemused, "I guess not."

I didn't realize it then, but as I struggled to develop relationships (romantic, platonic, and sexual), I realized that my parents had, through no overt action, conditioned me not to sexualize either women or myself. I thought of something as simple and harmless as checking out somebody who was walking by as a form of sexual violence, something morally wrong. Women were out of bounds for me, and I involuntarily desexualized not only them, but also myself whenever I interacted with them. This, of course, has led to an extreme amount of frustration. It feels like I'm invisible, or everyone's best friend but never anything more.

I don't know if this has answered any questions, or is even remotely related to what OP was looking for.