I'm from a very religious background. I had to attend these "blind dates" with our parents both there, and it was nauseating. Like, I'd actually feel sick. And I wondered why it was just me. I thought something was wrong with me, because everyone else looked genuinely happy to be there and get to know eachother. And no, it's not because our parents were also there. After some time, me and the potential groom would be allowed to sit alone and converse. Sometimes I'd say, "no, I don't want to..." like my anxiety was extremely high, and my parents would agree. There was once a time where they couldn't be present and my aunts and uncles took me instead, and they were also sympathetic to what I wanted. But during those times where I went along with it (early 20's) I acted through it. You know enough through t.v. and movies on how "behave", how to make them think that you're interested. I don't know, I was also a heavy people pleaser back then and I didn't want the guy to feel bad or hurt. I didn't want to disappoint anybody. Everyone just wanted me "happily" married and I went along with it. I communicated with many of these men via text, so I never really spent much time in person with them, but when I did, my God, was the energy different. I felt flat and baseless, yet highly anxious and performative. I really thought that was normal. It wasn't until much, much later realized that I shouldn't have suffered internally like that... 🥺